Getting the Most Out of Psychotherapy

Three men in period clothing discussing at a table in a study room
AI’s attempt at creating a photo of Jung, Nietzsche and Gandhi having a discussion.

My best sessions are those in which a client is there to learn, to grow, to explore, to heal. I enjoy someone who comes in ready to go. Who shows up on time (or lets me know they are on their way) because this means they respect the process and my time. I am there to aide you on your journey. I don’t know everything but I do know psychology. I trust my intuition to guide me. I trust your body language or the somatic resonance created in the room that I am witnessing.

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A Woman and the Aging Process: Sex, Love and So Much More

Next month when I marry the man I love, I will be 64 years old. It is both of our second time around but this time it is conscious, eyes wide open, no lies, no abuse, no bs. The sales person in one of the jewelry stores was wanting me to act excited over a ring, she was in her 20’s. I explained that it isn’t like I am shocked or surprised or grateful that this man wants to marry me. I know exactly what I am getting in to. We bought our rings from someone who was kind and unconcerned about my expression. While she was in her 20’s as well, she was grateful for the sale. She wasn’t pushy or annoying, just being herself. I know who I am now and it is the lessons I learned along the way, the aging process that brought me to my older wiser more comfortable self. There are no surprises anymore, just choice.

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When You Choose a Path of Growth, You Will Walk Thru Many Doors

Blue wooden door with lion head knocker and climbing greenery
A charming historic blue door surrounded by climbing vines and potted flowers

I have a dream that comes to me now and then, where I am walking down the street. In order to get where I am going, I have to go in and out of people’s homes along the way. Through many different doors. No one is generally in these homes, though I go in the door, walk around the house, looking for the door to get out and then I am on to the next one. I find it difficult that I have to go through this maze in order to get where I am wanting to go. I have made a conscious effort to be on a path of growth my entire adult life. It has meant that I have had many phases or stages along these six decades, as I go through different doors that open me up to knowledge, spirituality, and naturally growth as a human being.

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Pope Leo: The Jesus of our Times

(photo credits: Aciafrica.org)
Not a coincidence that it only took a day to decide he would be pope.

I am not a Catholic and never have been AND, I am not saying Pope Leo IS Jesus, just to clear this up. He is a voice of reason to our Roman Emperor Tiberius (Trump) and his Praetorian Prefect Sejanus (Vance), and all the other antagonizing leaders from across the land. He is a world leader that brings balance to all the chaos and conflict that we face daily in the news. He may not be literally turning water into wine, but he is cleaning up the bazaar with his voice on the stage, while going to various countries observing and commenting.

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Menopause and the Sage Woman

In my 98 year old home

A question I frequently ask my female clients mid-40’s and over, is about menopause. Have they begun, are they in it or have they completed the cycling. Many women do not know that they are in the beginning stages, just as I did not in my late 40’s. It can go on for many years before you are actually completing that one year pause – no more monthly cycles at all. You will deal with so many things psychologically. This is the main reason I am asking as a psychotherapist. Is it menopause, or has your life just begun to head in a very strange direction? I also recommend reading “The Fifth Decade,” by Dr. Deborah Wagner as it helped me find direction. Validation really. I was going through a very odd crisis.

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Listening: The Answers Are Right There

2007 Open Mic Fremont, CA: Barnes and Noble

When you listen, everything you need to know is right there. A person who is talking, is not doing so to waste their energy. They are talking to communicate with you. Explain their boundaries, voice their needs, and to explain who they are. In a relationship, whether it is friend, boss, co-worker, or lover, listening is the best way to have a healthy partnership with the person receiving the words. When we do not listen, we miss out on the connection. When we misunderstand, we ass…u…me. When we ignore, we are focused on ourself, our Ego. The answers are right there. All you need to know about someone, they are telling you.

I am a psychotherapist, I work with people who are frustrated because you are not listening.

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Meditation: Life Changing Moments

A Kundalini yoga guru, that I took a class with in Los Angeles said, “If everyone did yoga, there would be less people in hospitals.” I have never been in a hospital, as a holistic practitioner.

In addition, I am adding, “If everyone did meditation, the world would be a calmer place.”

I tell people all the time, this is the best medicine for Anxiety.

So what is this all about?

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Thank you Mr. Dahlman for that Life Changing Moment

You wouldn’t think that writing a paper on religious cults would lead someone to a lifelong spiritual journey. If you didn’t grow up in Ohio or another Mid-west state, in a very isolated and controlled lifestyle, you really wouldn’t make that connection. This is how it happened for me and this is my gratitude to one teacher, for spurring on this moment in a little farm town called Pataskala.

Mr. Marty Dahlman was the P.O.D. teacher (Problems of Democracy) at Watkins Memorial High School. He went on to other things, such as a track coach, vice-principal or principle, I forget which. Once I left Ohio, I didn’t return until 2010, when I began catching up after this long absence at high school reunions. He is now retired from Watkins and writes a blogpost, called Our America – Essays on Politics and American Life.

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Soul Collage Workshop in Columbus, Ohio

This is a wonderful workshop that I will be co-presenting with MJ Abell who is a Soul Collage Facilitator. There will be materials available to make the cards – which you will take with you, light refreshments and camaraderie with like minded people. If you live in Columbus, I hope to see you there.

Q. Is this in-person? yes

Q. Do I need to be creative or artistic? no, this is not an art class, it is a creative workshop and you will guided to choosing the pictures that are right for you.

Q. Is this therapy? no, it is not group therapy it is a soul collage workshop and I am there only to briefly discuss narcissism, answer your questions and support you in your process.

Q. Do I have to be a survivor or what does this mean? The workshop will encompass people who are victims (still in the relationship), trauma bond (out but hoping to get back in) and survivors (those who are out and no they won’t go back but still want to work on this issue).

Q. What is soul collage? https://soulcollage.com/

Any other questions, please feel free to contact me at transformpsych@outlook.com

Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language – An Old Book With a Timeless Message

Ever since I was a young girl, I reflected on the meaning of God, on spirituality, on life. I tried following the church – as I was expected, but continued to fall short on what I wanted. Answers. I received regurgitated phrases that shed no sense of enlightenment which I sought. In confirmation I was taught how women are punished for Eve’s sin…Why, I had nothing to do with this – I thought. I was told “Because the Bible says so.” Which was exactly how my questions – any of them – were answered at home (with the word Bible exchanged for the word I). Nonetheless, I did not give up hope and continued to search. This began a lifelong journey; reading, workshops, college/grad school, spiritual teachers, all designed to awaken me into the person I am today. Not to mention my own life lessons.

Not one of us has so much faith that we have no doubts; not one of us has such purity that we have no darkness. Within every human attribute there hides somewhere its opposite. (p.18)

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