For the past seven months, I have been numb…as I walked in the desert alone – in silence and prayer or meditation. I have come to know God in a renewed way; as I took this path on a contemplative journey. The pain and suffering of losing yet one more relationship at 59, took a hold of me and wouldn’t let go. Realizing, that once again, I had given up on myself while trying to please them and one more time being blamed. This time something completely made up and fabricated to get rid of me. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back and yet, while I hoped to get an apology and for the nightmare to be over, I began to realize, month by month, this was just not going to come.Continue reading
What is God and how does this fit into my life? Firstly, we must look at what “it” is not. God is not a man, a woman, an it or any new fangled plural you want to add here. God, Goddess, Gods are not a human being. It is interesting that I said “What” vs. “Who.” A Who would indicate a person. A What indicates a thing and object and even this is not correct. I look at God as an entity. A higher power, a supreme being, a non-mortal. So, first, I want to put it into this context as I am speaking here.
When the Bible says that Adam was made in God’s image and Eve in Adam’s, it does not mean that God looks like Adam and Eve, it means that he made them pure, honest, and true; two innocents, as they were not God but yet they were in his image. We are all God, or rather one with God and God is in us. Like Alanis Morissette’s song “What if God was one of us?” And, he is all of us as her video so aptly displays. God is also the animals, the trees, the rivers, the mountains, the grass, any object that is on Earth, even those that are man-made. This is God because he exists in all of us, our energy is in all of these things and so it is all God.Continue reading
Hear me, my God, as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy. Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from the plots of evildoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent; they shoot suddenly, without fear. They encourage each other in evil plans, they talk about hiding their snares; they say, “Who will see it?” They plot injustice and say, “We have devised the perfect plan!” Surely the human mind and heart are cunning. But God will shoot them with his arrows; they will suddenly be struck down. He will turn their own tongues against them and bring them to ruin; all who see them will shake their heads in scorn. All people will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done. The righteous will rejoice in the Lord and take refuge in him; all the upright in heart will glory in him!
How can you read this and not recall the ending of “Dangerous Liaisons,” when Glenn Close’s character, the Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil, is being laughed at, after she walks into the opera house. The movie shows us the conclusion of her lies and deception being flaunted in her face. How often though, does this reality occur for us? What is more typical is that the real life bad guys walk away laughing at us, having felt that they have won the day and thinking they reduced us, the victim, to a piece of trash which they have now taken out with the garbage. Take your power back. Walk away with your head held high. Leave with dignity. Fighting back will make you equal to them and you are much better than this. You deserve better.Continue reading
Recently, I mentioned that I had returned to reading the Bible during a particularly challenging period of my life. After sitting in a church service on Mother’s Day, I heard the guest lecturer speak about Job’s patience. I could barely hear most of what this person said because, like many speakers, they don’t understand the concept of “put the mic near your mouth.” Therefore, I have no idea what she actually said, it was just those two words that sat in my head. Why was Job patient? What happened to him? I went home and began reading this chapter. I quickly realized how much I could relate to Job and how his struggles with God, which were inflicted by God, were similar to my own and those of the clients I serve (and most anyone who has struggled and feels it was – too much to bear).
In reading Job, you will first learn that he is quite well off for that time period. He has many acres, livestock, married and about ten children, more sons than daughters. Sons back then would have been more worthwhile than daughters, for the work they could perform on the property. Also, they would bring in more families to the household whereas the daughter would probably leave to join her husband and his family. The stage is set to let us know that he is in a good place financially. He is also a God-fearing family man. He is not worried about anything except the wrath of God.Continue reading
Ironically, at 18 years old, I left the church due to hypocrisy and feeling disappointed with the teachings. Here I am at 58, having been accused of lies by Christian strangers and believed by the one I loved, which caused me to turn to God and read the Bible once more. In my 40-year absence, I developed an eclectic view on faith based on my study of world religions and participating at the sacred temples or circles of various faiths. I am not “coming back,” merely feeling distraught and finding comfort in the words of God and the faith of my ancestors.Continue reading