Tag Archives: Society

The Zeigarnik Effect on Survivors of Narcissists

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Watch the above video first, to understand what the Zeigarnik Effect is and think about not having closure with a narcissist as you watch this. Unfinished business. Being discarded. This also speaks to grief and feeling that you were unable to say what you needed to say, or questions you wanted answered at the end of someone’s life. Someone sent me a different video from Facebook this morning and my mind immediately went to narcissism and the hold it has on us when we are let go, like we never existed in their life. Yes, this can also be explained by cognitive dissonance, but I think what keeps us stuck (re-occurring thoughts) is the Zeigarnik Effect.

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United States of Babylon

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Futuristic city labeled United States of Babylon with Babylonian monuments and American landmarks
AI Image

This past weekend I went to the Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey Epstein memorial reading room in Columbus, Ohio. I had to pass through a security guard, the police were there, they had to protect us from people who might try to bring ruin to the truth of these women’s voices. They could not even post the event on the events website for fear of someone trying to take advantage in a negative way. What I was left with was feeling a terrible sense of not being able to trust people with power more than I had ever felt before. Prior to walking in, there was a sense of this, people said that you shouldn’t, but after looking at and facing all these mounds of evidence (3700+ books of depositions, artwork from survivors, a timeline of events, and the red books that you could open and peruse – which did not have survivor information as the 3700 white books did), one can not look away. People don’t lie about being raped. Some of the names I saw, who were involved, were some new ones not shared in the media. I found my mouth gaping a few times. Look for this “bookmobile” to come to your hometown.

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The End of Woman: By Carrie Gress

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Cover art by Ginny Sheller

It has taken me a long time to read this book and this is because I was getting married, putting my birth father (who I don’t have much of a relationship with) into assisted living, dealing with my business and other things that occur on a day to day basis. At the same time, any time I read a woman’s non-fiction book about our history, I find it difficult to take in the gravity of what is being said. Usually, it makes me angry and sick to my stomach and I often have to put the book down. It is hard to sit with what has happened to women in history or even in modern times. This book validated what I have felt all along. It is well written and researched and provided the necessary discussion topics, should I wish to do so or write about here.

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What is a Woman: Dolly Parton

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Dolly Parton died on August 25, 2026, and since then, I have been thinking about her personality – how it was formed in a nicer more gentler time (pre-computers) vs. now with people being split based on their opinions. Opinions that have made a sharp and very extreme change since COVID. Dolly helped people feel calm from what I can see. She refused to talk politics – which was one of the three things you should never discuss in company. I have been looking for a copy of her memoir from 1994 – which she wrote and I hope will be republished. I’d rather read her own words. I am not too fascinated with her costumes or her singing, but I think she was a wonderful writer, a great human being and she represents the end of old country. This is what I miss the most about country music – which you can’t find any country radio station willing to play. A time when these men and women had to hawk their wares at town festivals, drive around the country pushing their 45’s to disc jockeys and hoping to get on the stage at the Grand Ole Opry. This was long before TV contests and Youtube. It was a time when these people grew up dirt poor and you could feel it in their music. They were not entitled but appreciative of their Appalachian heritage. Dolly was around for all of them, Patsy, Loretta, Tammi, Roy and Buck, Johnny and June, all the Carter sisters, Hank and George, so many legends with some leaving us much too soon.

Here is her take on being a woman from 1968.

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Getting the Most Out of Psychotherapy

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Three men in period clothing discussing at a table in a study room
AI’s attempt at creating a photo of Jung, Nietzsche and Gandhi having a discussion.

My best sessions are those in which a client is there to learn, to grow, to explore, to heal. I enjoy someone who comes in ready to go. Who shows up on time (or lets me know they are on their way) because this means they respect the process and my time. I am there to aide you on your journey. I don’t know everything but I do know psychology. I trust my intuition to guide me. I trust your body language or the somatic resonance created in the room that I am witnessing.

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What is a Woman: Maya Angelou

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Maya Angelou LA Times

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

~

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

~

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

~

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

~

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don’t you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

~

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

~

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I’ve got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

~

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

~

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

~~~

She is talking about women. Real women. The history of black women which can ring true for all women. There was a time when all women had no rights, they were the objects and under the control of men. Now we are in a time when men are trying a new way to objectify women by claiming they “are” women. You can make it up but it will never be the same. Plastic surgery, hormone shots, chopping off your dick to be a eunuch. You will never be a woman. You will only be a Eunuch; a guy without a dick. Stay in your own lane and leave us alone. We have fought our fought and won. Now you are making us fight again. The new misogyny. A raping of women, pretending we are one.

What is a Woman: Edna St. Vincent Millay

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Edna St. Vincent Millay (storyinprogress.substack.com)

I, being born a woman and distressed by Edna St. Vincent Millay 

I, being born a woman and distressed

By all the needs and notions of my kind,

Am urged by your propinquity to find

Your person fair, and feel a certain zest

To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:

So subtly is the fume of life designed,

To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,

And leave me once again undone, possessed.

Think not for this, however, the poor treason

Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,

I shall remember you with love, or season

My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:

I find this frenzy insufficient reason

For conversation when we meet again.

~~~

Distressed now by men who won’t stay in their own lane. Who want to occupy ours because being a man isn’t good enough for them and they believe the grass is greener. Once again, finding new ways to possess women in sports, prisons, locker rooms, women’s organizations, where we have fought to have our own sacred and safe space. Laws designed to protect us once, we now have to clarify sex and fight once more. XX-XY

What is a Woman: Tacocat

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Man pointing finger at woman who looks down holding papers in office hallway
Now men are trying to tell us we should accept them if they want to be a woman. They are just like “us.” Stay in your own lane boys. Be proud of who you are.

Men Explain Things to Me: Written by Lelah Maupin, Eric Randall, Brianna Mckenna, Emily E Nokes

Explain it to me
Explain it to me
Explain it to me, again

Though I know all about the words you’re spitting out
The floor is yours without a yawn
I already know where this is gonna go (I already know)
Where this is gonna go

Tell me to calm down
Tell me to calm down
Tell me to calm down, again

Don’t tell me what to do
My feelings won’t subdue
Just because you told them to
You’re a cliché, useless in every way (you’re a cliché)
You’re a cliché

Take up the whole sidewalk
Take up the whole sidewalk
Take up the whole sidewalk, again

This land is your reign in the palm of your hand
I walk around so you can stand
You’re in my way every day
You’re in my way, you’re in my way
We get it dude, already heard enough from you
The turning point is overdue

What is a Woman: Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox

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Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox (reddit.com)

Now there was a time
When they used to say
That behind every “great man”
There had to be a “great woman”

But in these times of change
You know that it’s no longer true
So we’re coming out of the kitchen
‘Cause there’s something we forgot to say to you (we say)

Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves, yeah

Now this is a song to celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
Mothers, daughters and their daughters too, yeah
Woman to woman
We’re singing with you

The “inferior sex” got a new exterior (yeah)
We got doctors, lawyers, politicians too
Everybody, take a look around
Can you see? Can you see? Can you see?
There’s a woman right next to you

Sisters are doing it for themselves (oh yes, we are)
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves

Now we ain’t making stories
And we ain’t laying plans
‘Cause a man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man
(Just the same though)

Sisters are doing it for themselves

There was a time (there was a time)
When they used to say (when they used to say)
That behind every great man
There had to be a great woman

But in these times of change
You know that it’s no longer true
So we’re coming out of the kitchen
‘Cause there’s something we forgot to say to you (we say)

Sister are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves

~~

Sister’s are doing it for themselves now and men are trying to take advantage by riding on our rails. They weren’t here before when we had no rights. This is a new form of misogyny these men who want to “be” women and take our power away from us. Walking in our locker rooms, bathrooms, taking advantage of us in sports; ripping our scholarships and trophies away from us, no where can a woman turn these days and feel we have a safe space from these men. A new type of rape of the woman – raping us of our rights. These rights that we have fought long and hard for, which men already had. XX-XY

What is a Woman: Jeannine Vegh

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Wise Woman

Walks Alone.
Stands Tall.
Sees and observes; Questions and speaks.

She is not well loved or even understood – because she knows many things yet to unfold.

People fear her or scold her as she will not deny nor conform.
What they don’t know they will not allow anyone else to either.
Yet others see and acknowledge and accept what she has to offer.

And she would suffer
Humility, yet show a brave woman with stamina and courage.

She would commit herself to a challenge if she would learn.

She would love with her heart even though it might break.

While others are following one by one as the head of the line tells them what to do – she would stand by the side and consider the pros and cons.

If there is a job to do it will be done.

When you need a friend there will be one.

Wise but not perfect; learned and perhaps educated.

A nurturer who remains detached and conscious of her soul; the whole world as it affects one.

The wise woman is not necessarily the leader yet she would succeed in keeping her wits about her and always come out on top.

The wise woman is the person you ought to seek and know.

copyright 2005 Jeannine Vegh