My best sessions are those in which a client is there to learn, to grow, to explore, to heal. I enjoy someone who comes in ready to go. Who shows up on time (or lets me know they are on their way) because this means they respect the process and my time. I am there to aide you on your journey. I don’t know everything but I do know psychology. I trust my intuition to guide me. I trust your body language or the somatic resonance created in the room that I am witnessing.
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I have a dream that comes to me now and then, where I am walking down the street. In order to get where I am going, I have to go in and out of people’s homes along the way. Through many different doors. No one is generally in these homes, though I go in the door, walk around the house, looking for the door to get out and then I am on to the next one. I find it difficult that I have to go through this maze in order to get where I am wanting to go. I have made a conscious effort to be on a path of growth my entire adult life. It has meant that I have had many phases or stages along these six decades, as I go through different doors that open me up to knowledge, spirituality, and naturally growth as a human being.
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When you listen, everything you need to know is right there. A person who is talking, is not doing so to waste their energy. They are talking to communicate with you. Explain their boundaries, voice their needs, and to explain who they are. In a relationship, whether it is friend, boss, co-worker, or lover, listening is the best way to have a healthy partnership with the person receiving the words. When we do not listen, we miss out on the connection. When we misunderstand, we ass…u…me. When we ignore, we are focused on ourself, our Ego. The answers are right there. All you need to know about someone, they are telling you.
I am a psychotherapist, I work with people who are frustrated because you are not listening.
Continue readingFrom Confusion to Clarity: Jeannine Vegh, M.A., I.M.F.T.’s Guide to Healing from Narcissism
Written by Kaela Vance, LCSW-S with Teal Saguaro Wellness in Dublin, Ohio.
This is a wonderful workshop that I will be co-presenting with MJ Abell who is a Soul Collage Facilitator. There will be materials available to make the cards – which you will take with you, light refreshments and camaraderie with like minded people. If you live in Columbus, I hope to see you there.
Q. Is this in-person? yes
Q. Do I need to be creative or artistic? no, this is not an art class, it is a creative workshop and you will guided to choosing the pictures that are right for you.
Q. Is this therapy? no, it is not group therapy it is a soul collage workshop and I am there only to briefly discuss narcissism, answer your questions and support you in your process.
Q. Do I have to be a survivor or what does this mean? The workshop will encompass people who are victims (still in the relationship), trauma bond (out but hoping to get back in) and survivors (those who are out and no they won’t go back but still want to work on this issue).
Q. What is soul collage? https://soulcollage.com/
Any other questions, please feel free to contact me at transformpsych@outlook.com
It can be difficult to “let go” and begin to forgive yourself and the people around you that have brought harm to you. Forgiving as in “Radical Acceptance” not that you agree with what happened or okay with it.
I also find that when clients don’t want to do work on themselves – to heal from trauma – it is because the walls they have put up are protecting them. If they take them down, they might be seen as weak or unable to protect themselves from danger.
Fortunately, I find that when I work with people who have faced trauma and they bravely commit themselves to healing from this experience, they are actually much stronger people. Naturally, they have to trust me, the therapist and the process. When they do, they end up having much happier lives and are of course much stronger as well.
The trauma has to be over though, and this means ending the relationship with the narcissistic relationship. This is sometimes difficult to do when you are going through a divorce – and dealing with the perpetrator and the court the perp has manipulated. It also can be hard if this is your family. And yet, it can still happen that you will find peace of mind at the end of the day, by the choices you make, the boundaries you set and staying true to yourself.
This is an amazing video, listening to the renowned therapist, Marsha Linehan speak on Radical Acceptance. I am reminded of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s quote “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Think about being in a relationship with a narcissist. You can’t change them. If you focus on accepting this, you can begin to heal from the trauma you are suffering from. For example: In a courtroom, don’t be surprised at his/her actions. If you radically accept he/she will not change, you can think more clearly about how you respond to the situation. In a home environment, to survive the moment if you are planning to stay, realize who this person is, accept who they are and look at how you can live YOUR life as a result. How can you cope in this environment? In other words, how can you take care of your mind, body, spirit, knowing that this person is not going to join you, accept your thinking, or agree with you?
Trauma Bond comes from going down that path of being love bombed. Trauma can come from being frightened or manipulated or gaslighted or abuse (sexual, emotional, physical, mental) or witnessing.
Healing is about surviving the trauma. It is about standing up for yourself. About having personal integrity or agency. It is about having an awakening and realizing you have to look out for yourself.
Reading what women (or men’s voices for men) have had to say through a biographer or from their own words of wisdom can be very empowering when you are going through your own healing process. Whether you are a victim – still in the home, or a survivor – out and trying to get your life back, a woman’s voice can be very strong, very educational, and very relatable. It doesn’t matter who you choose, let your intuitive powers guide you to this choice and then be prepared to sit back and indulge yourself in another woman’s experience.
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If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State. Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf
The pathological liar is a covert narcissist, an addict, a psychopath, a sociopath, a gaslighter, or you could say a spin doctor. No matter what you attribute it to, if you are listening to someone who is trying to make you believe something, that you know in your heart to be untrue, this person has prepared their case very well. You may love them, you may have given birth to them, they may be your parent or grandparent, nonetheless, you must trust your soul. Learn from this and grow.
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Discerning Gal
A Frequent Blog of Devotionals Inspired by A Course in Miracles, A Course of Love, The Way of Mastery, Choose Only Love--Plus More . . . with Celia Hales - https://www.amazon.com/author/celiahales
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