Disclaimer: As we are two humble therapists, all discussion you see between us in the video/podcast is based on our training and education, therapeutic work in our practices, and thoughtful opinions formed over our years of working with the population we discuss. We are not the last word in this discussion, and we commit to providing ongoing resources beyond ourselves to enlarge your understanding of this complex subject. Thank you for viewing and we hope this will be helpful in your recovery process.
My premier course is now available at Udemy.com and I hope you will take the time to sign up and take the class! I think you will find it will enrich your life by learning more about what the Narcissist is, how it has effected your life and much more. Thank you!
Love never fails when two people are committed to the relationship. In the “Sound Relationship House,” created by the Gottman Institute, you will see that Trust and Commitment are the pillars that hold up the foundation of the house, wherein the seven principles for making a relationship work (the latter part of this sentence is the title of Dr. John Gottman’s best selling book, only with the word marriage in lieu of relationship) lie within. When either of these two are fractured the partnership “can” fall apart but does not have to. In order for the couple to continue being together they have to revisit the conflict and then repair so that they can then rebuild what they have together. Not returning to the same relationship but to a much stronger and more aware partnership.
Embracing Me: Moving Forward from a Narcissistic Parent or Partner
Live Facebook event on Wednesday, May 26th from 11-noon (Eastern Time Zone). Once you have paid for the event, you will be able to access the Exclusive Posts which will give you the Zoom link to attend the presentation.
This webinar is for people who have been in a relationship with a narcissistic parent or partner and are having difficulties within their life. Generally this is in regard to relationships with bosses, co-workers, siblings, partners, friends, and others. It is also for adult children of these parents who are struggling with differentiation or maintaining your own separate identity from your parents. Narcissistic parents tend to want to remain enmeshed and not allow you to have your own life. If grandchildren are involved and they have any type of control over them (babysitter, raising them, paying for them), this detachment can cause even more havoc on you as a person.
If you have been in this type of relationship, it is often from growing up with some form of trauma or a narcissistic parent. It is difficult to get into a “healthy” attachment with a partner as it is so easy to attract this type of person if you are familiar with this personality. They come across as really caring and loving people – at first. Often we don’t find out their true colors until six months – to a year as the honeymoon stage wears off. You see it sooner, but often don’t realize what you are looking at. Even I, as a therapist, have been fooled more than once!
We are going to look at these personality types and then discuss how to heal from these type of people and move forward into a more healthier attachment with both parent and/or the partner. The webinar is $9.99 with a discount for purchasing a week in advance. You have to click on the Facebook Event link at the top of this post and sign up in order to access this.
Two years ago, my uncle died. A beloved past-minister, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, son, and so on. He was well known in many communities of people. When I called my mother to ask about the funeral arrangements, she informed me there would not be one. I was really upset to hear this. It was because the family, with his knowledge, had felt that they did not want to do this. They didn’t want a bunch of commotion. I was furious with this but my words could not be heard because his family are people that when they make a decision, they are not detracted.
As a psychotherapist, who deals with death and dying quite frequently from survivors who come into my office, I know the importance of grief. A funeral is not for the dead, it is for the living. It is for the people who love the departed one and who need to come together in memorial of this person to “sing” their praises. When you deny a funeral from your loved one’s and those who knew of you, you are keeping them from being in congregation with one another and withholding their ability to have closure.
This morning, I had a client confront me about being uncomfortable with me in the room. It was so hard for them to do this and they spoke in a roundabout way that it took me a minute to realize it was about me. I had the utmost respect for them that they would confront me in this situation. I began to realize how terrifying it was for them to say this. I acknowledged all of this and set about to make the situation more pleasant for all. I was successful because I approached them with respect and honor. The interesting part of this is that the person was not even going to come in today. They told me that they had planned to just run away and hide. This made me even more grateful to know that they were so brave to come in to session. We ended with both of us having a renewed respect for each other. I could see they were very grateful for having taken a stand as well.