The Pathological Liar: The Spin Doctor – Learn From and Grow

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State. Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf

The pathological liar is a covert narcissist, an addict, a psychopath, a sociopath, a gaslighter, or you could say a spin doctor. No matter what you attribute it to, if you are listening to someone who is trying to make you believe something, that you know in your heart to be untrue, this person has prepared their case very well. You may love them, you may have given birth to them, they may be your parent or grandparent, nonetheless, you must trust your soul. Learn from this and grow.

We have been bamboozled by the pandemic, a worldwide event. It is true that people got sick, it is not true (or misleading or inaccurate) most of the information we were given. From this event, more things have occurred while people were stuck indoors, in isolation. We have seen the horrors of the Chinese being starved to death, reaching out to us with photos and videos as they were not even allowed to leave for groceries or have them delivered. We have seen companies sending people to work from home. We have seen companies now laying people off and enjoying the slavery of us, while we do the job of the cashier. Companies such as Kroger, not having someone to ring you up after 8pm and yet, they are purchasing Albertsons in California. These are the lies – they say they can’t find employees and I see older women disappearing from the store. Most of all, we have seen extreme thinking, liberal parents allowing their children to decide their future by mutilating their bodies in 47 children’s hospitals across the country. We have seen a collusion with teachers across the country. We have seen a collusion with psychotherapists, and I fear that soon the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) will change in favor of this. Changing Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) to something more romantic. Just like the psychology professionals of World War II who became Nazis. The lies that are perpetuated by the masses and the professionals listen and jump on this band wagon.

Again, in the link I attributed the above quote to, Hitler will say in Mein Kampf: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it.

We have been tricked by the pathological liars of our life and our society. In fear, we listen, instead of trusting our gut instincts. If something doesn’t sound right to you, it isn’t right. If there is any suspicion resonating from your inner self, trust this. Otherwise, you have entered into a dark place, like those who listened during the holocaust.

A French Village, Un Village Français (MhZ Choice 2009/7 seasons) is one of the best portrayals of an occupied village (historical fiction) that I have seen, in regard to WWII. It is so raw in its depiction of the psychological trauma that faces the human beings in a small town. Yet, after living through the pandemic, it really wouldn’t matter what the village was facing being occupied by some belief, thinking on this as you watch these episodes. In the final season, there is a tribunal that comes to the village and people’s actions are held accountable. We have recently seen an article begging for pandemic amnesty, as a result of the actions taken. The crimes to our nation are being investigated and liberals fear they will be punished. The conservatives say no, we must hold them accountable. And, that we should. Lessons do not occur when we let people slip by. The tribunals were held all over Europe, post-WWII. The Nazi’s who were hunted down in the countries they fled to and imprisoned. These tribunals stated that what happened was NOT okay. If not for these tribunals, it would have seemed as if the actions of Hitler and his people were just another war. It would have become commonplace, going forward and accepted as the way to go. Amnesty should not be granted to foolish people on a global scale, as a result of the pandemic. Otherwise, it will happen again. Whenever the next mass hysteria is created.

And yet, as I say this, I will turn around my statement for the individual. Healing in psychotherapy, comes from forgiveness, from letting go, from understanding that the person was wrong but not clinging to the justification you would like to see for their actions. If there is a lawsuit, of course, hold them accountable in court (rape, murder, falsely firing someone), but even then, once it is over, you must move on.

It is easy to dwell in anger. This is the one symptom that has a hard time walking away in victims of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). After working with clients for many years now, utilizing Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD, I continued to notice anger was still laying deep in their psyches. I reached out to a university responsible for training and researching and they said, yes, it has been researched. Anger and sleep problems continue to remain. I am adding to this from a spiritual perspective that our ego does not want to let go. I say this based on personal experience. I get this because I was finally able to rise above this after my most recent crisis with a covert narcissist.

What happens though when you hold onto anger? You remain pissed off. You waste your energy. You are unable to grow as a person. You get that they need to be held accountable. You are able to intellectualize that [the trauma] was their fault, not yours and that you could not have prevented this in any way shape or form – in that moment. Despite all of this new knowledge, it is hard to not still be angry.

The anger toward the pathological liar (the perpetrator of pain) does not serve us. It serves to hold us down and continue to rape our soul, but it does not serve us in the growth process. We cannot control the punishment of this person. You must give it up to God, the universe, the court system, the whatever. I can tell you, as a previous social worker with Children’s Protective Services, many child molesters get away with their actions. It is to protect the children though. If the statement has no proof, evidence, admittance from the perpetrator, the child will lose in court and be debased all over again. The same thing can happen to us as adults. Think O.J. Simpson. Think of any perpetrator who has gotten away, with their actions, because of a well-paid or very good attorney. This doesn’t mean the action did not happen, it means they had a good lawyer. It means we must find justice within. Holding onto our pain does not serve us but destroys us.

I have witnessed the anger in my clients, turning it on me, on themselves, on others and I have personally been through it myself (my past anger). It serves no purpose other than to eventually grow from this, when we are finally ready to let it go. If the perpetrator goes on to live what seems to be a “good life,” don’t be fooled. Don’t wait for their karma to be shown to you. But don’t be fooled. They live in a “dirty” home, their mind is tortured by their own conscious. Some people, the sociopath, is probably not tortured but their soul is holding onto their crimes. They will all pay the price one way or another, whether it is through their children, their grandchildren, their parents, siblings, the price will be paid. Let go of your anger and give it up to the universe, instead of holding on to a need to control the outcome. The only outcome to focus on is yours.

Pathology is sometimes created from the way a child is raised and the beliefs they hold sacred. It is sometimes a genetic disorder from the brain, or the etiology is explained in a medical way (I am reading the book the Psychopath Inside by James Fallon). But none of this matters. The perpetrator of our pain has their own path to go down. They will not change, most likely and even if they have an ability to have self-realization one day, it won’t be based on your actions. Let go of this need to control your world and theirs. It will not serve you but destroy you.

Worldwide events are also lessons. The pandemic caused some of us to sink and some to swim. New relationships have been created, people have grown, they have created new businesses and we have seen the nation speak out in this past U.S. election. Even though some were unhappy with the results, the fights that went on in every single state, meant that people were choosing to fight back and take a stand. Those who won, had better spin doctors in the political scheme of things. It doesn’t mean they are necessarily “right” for us. Time will tell who really meant what they said and who didn’t.

Those who sunk are still in need of healing. People are afraid to leave their homes, people were abused in their homes that we don’t yet know about and some we do, and there are yet other tragedies to be told. It took years for people to heal from WWII. We still see people unable to heal from the Civil War and with this displaced anger from ignorant people unable to understand history. Anger holds us back, it keeps us from growing. It keeps us from holding ourselves accountable and taking responsibility for our lives.

Bad things happened to us, in the past, in the present, it has happened worldwide, and it served to teach us lessons. The recent elections are teaching us lessons, if we care to listen. The pathological liars, the spin doctors have done horrible things to our psyche. Now, it is time to work on this, take responsibility, hold ourselves accountable to the life we wish to live. Wouldn’t you rather live out your dreams? Wouldn’t you rather have a beautiful life? The perpetrator isn’t holding you back, you are.

Note: This is an article designed to get someone to seek out a psychotherapist, not to blame the victim. A psychotherapist who specializes in PTSD or survivors of narcissists, can help you to heal from your trauma.

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