Healthy relationships are not blaming you by twisting something that you said around – they take responsibility for their own actions. Healthy Relationships do not punish you with passive aggressive tactics such as not allowing you to attend an event they invited you to or not calling for several days. The key word here is Boundaries and the person you are with respecting these boundaries. If they do, you are in a healthy relationship, if they don’t, you are being blamed and punished.Continue reading
Tag Archives: Family
Holiday Family Chaos – Rising Above The Social Media Lies and Distortion
The above quote is the very first line you will read in Anna Karenina. It is the only line I really cherished as I couldn’t fathom the book. I could manage the movie but Russian writers are not my forte.
As we go into the holiday season, don’t focus on what you see on social media, focus on the reality of your own life, on how you can become a better person. I can tell you that so many of the lies you see on social media, I have learned about in my office. They are not happy families; they show you what they imagine they have. There are some rare circumstances but more and more, it is like finding that rare penny that will make you a millionaire.Continue reading
The Pathological Liar: The Spin Doctor – Learn From and Grow
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State. Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf
The pathological liar is a covert narcissist, an addict, a psychopath, a sociopath, a gaslighter, or you could say a spin doctor. No matter what you attribute it to, if you are listening to someone who is trying to make you believe something, that you know in your heart to be untrue, this person has prepared their case very well. You may love them, you may have given birth to them, they may be your parent or grandparent, nonetheless, you must trust your soul. Learn from this and grow.Continue reading
Genital Mutilation is not Acceptable Whether it be in Africa or America: Free our Children from Abusive Teachers, Doctors and Therapists
When I first learned about female genital mutilation, it was sometime in the 90’s. I went to an art installation. I later read about it through Planned Parenthood’s international newsletter. I saw terrible photos of little girls in kitchens with a person wielding some sort of machete, I think it was. Those images disturbed me to no end. Children should have rights. The rights of their parents to protect and safeguard their well-being. They should be listened to and respected, but the parents should be the adults, who teach right from wrong. Parents should be teaching values, educating the child, providing them with their basic needs.Continue reading
Rituals: an Enlightening Conversation with Ellen and Jeannine
In this episode we look at the meaning of rituals in varying areas of our lives. This includes rituals that can have deep meaning as well as routine that plays a practical and anchoring role in our lives. We look at rituals that we deliberately intend and ones that we seemingly bring about with little thought or preparation. Join us for a rich discussion and come away with a deeper appreciation of your experiences in life.
To learn more about the presenters:
Ellen Seigel, LISW-S
To work with Ellen as a Transformational Life Coach contact her: ellen@BeHappyNoMatterWhat.com or call 614-389-5795 To receive enlightening Contemplative Thoughts daily and receive a chapter download from her book Be Happy No Matter What – 5 Steps to Inner Freedom, visit http://behappynomaterwhat.com
Jeannine Vegh, IMFT at Transformative Psychotherapy, LLC
https://jkvegh.com Survivors of Narcissists Workshop available at Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/embracing-me/?referralCode=C515C00CF7BBEE83BEC5 Blogposts on Psychology, the Arts and Ohio Women’s History https://discerninggal.com
Disclaimer: As we are two humble therapists, all discussion you see between us in the video/podcast is based on our training and education, therapeutic work in our practices, and thoughtful opinions formed over our years. We are not the last word in this discussion, and we commit to providing ongoing resources beyond ourselves to enlarge your understanding of this complex subject. Thank you for viewing and we hope this will be helpful as you move forward on your journey.
Evelyn and Antonio – Staying True to Themselves 55 years in
A wonderful conversation with Evelyn about her 55 year relationship with her husband and what makes it work. The second in my series on Staying True to the Self in a Healthy Relationship.
Loving the Narcissist: Patterns of Survivors
Let me in, let me see what is inside
Let me feel that place where you are trying to hide.
Two wounded souls from different places in time
Coming together without a map or a rhyme.
As you suffer in silence, I fly around in the dark
and search for words to help you embark.
Stolen moments meet us half way
to carry us forward thru a whole new day.
Two lovers gather in the evening silence
Yearning to touch and find their way once more.
They seek solace in the arms of each other
Hoping to find what they are looking for.
The past sits on the edge of reason and doubt
While it waits to be soothed and coddled.
Confusion lurks and passions await
Time moves on in haste.
The bed feels empty; the mind is reprieved
By a thought or a gesture that provides some relief.
I wait and I ponder and I wonder as I wander
The roads are clear but the climb is steep.
The painting is finished but the oils have yet to dry.
The journey is in motion and there is still more to do.
The dancers step forward and take their cue
While the room lets out a sigh…
The sounds are released and they move
Two people together, aware of nothing
But the instruments guiding their way.
When you find yourself writing poetry, you might be in love with a narcissist. The Imposter Syndrome, Anxious and/or Avoidant types, Survivors of Narcissistic Parents, Empaths and Highly Sensitive People. These are the patterns of women that I see who attract the narcissistic partner. Often these are very strong professional women in very capable positions. Many times, they make more money than the partner and, in these cases, I see the male taking a more entitled role. For example, the male tends to become very lazy in the sense that he is not pulling an equal share of the weight, in the home, to compensate for his wife or partner making the higher income. This makes her life even more difficult.Continue reading
Patterns in the Narcissists Behaviors
Personally and professionally, I have dealt with narcissistic men in relationships, as family members, as clients, and in business. I like to study patterns that I see that continue to appear over and over again, as a psychotherapist and began to reflect on this when it came to the narcissist specifically; for this post. This is not research, just an observation that I have seen, heard, learned of. I do not work with the narcissist (except when they are part of one of my couples), so I often hear it from the partner. If I am working with a couple, I am able to listen to them when I do a family history and glean more from them with the questions I ask. You have read many articles on line, most likely, about the narcissistic relationship to the wife/girlfriend. This article is going in a different direction.Continue reading
Love in Any Language
Four months ago, I created my first video for DiscerningGal.com, where I interviewed award winning author, Evelyn Kohl LaTorre, for her first book “Between Inca Walls.” The second book entitled “Love in Any Language,” is the part two. In fact, when you begin to read this book – should you have read the first one, you will feel as if this books starts where the last one left off. And, this is the point. Many people were curious what happened to Antonio and Evelyn; once they left Peru. We are indulged with this beautiful story about a couple who’s marriage spans five and a half decades, as we speak. The book ends about three decades later and we are on our seats for the entire roller coaster ride.Continue reading
Surviving the Narcissist
My premier course is now available at Udemy.com and I hope you will take the time to sign up and take the class! I think you will find it will enrich your life by learning more about what the Narcissist is, how it has effected your life and much more. Thank you!