Tag Archives: Men

The End of Woman: By Carrie Gress

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Cover art by Ginny Sheller

It has taken me a long time to read this book and this is because I was getting married, putting my birth father (who I don’t have much of a relationship with) into assisted living, dealing with my business and other things that occur on a day to day basis. At the same time, any time I read a woman’s non-fiction book about our history, I find it difficult to take in the gravity of what is being said. Usually, it makes me angry and sick to my stomach and I often have to put the book down. It is hard to sit with what has happened to women in history or even in modern times. This book validated what I have felt all along. It is well written and researched and provided the necessary discussion topics, should I wish to do so or write about here.

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Getting Married at 64 – Eyes Wide Open

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Getting married the second time around – for both of us, we had our eyes wide open. This was more honest, clear, conscious and rewarding.

As a result, there were no young adult expectations, everything was discussed up front and no uncommunicated concerns about moving forward in marriage. Our first marriages lasted about five minutes – so to speak, both were abusive, emotionally and mentally immature and both had no qualms about breaking vows. Oddly, both our ex’s were veterans, though I don’t blame the military for their lack of responsibility – mental health issues were clearly to blame. Paul and I believe in loyalty, fidelity and emotional commitment. We are clear that this marriage is for the rest of our lives and we treat our marriage, as we have our relationship the last three years, as a team. Nothing will change for us, other than we are “legal” now and our love became even deeper as we said our vows. What lessons I have learned about getting married and the process of having a wedding, I will share with you here.

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Finding a Home for Stanley – The Burdens of Dementia

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Taken in the late 80’s.

Firstly, I live in Ohio, my birth father lives in Florida. I have no idea when the VA diagnosed him with dementia, I began realizing over the phone something was wrong a year or so ago. I started getting calls from his landlord (who lived with him) last year and we kept in touch. In June, he gave him till the end of July to leave. This was on me as Stan wouldn’t have remembered and they may have had words. I found out a month ago, that luckily, he signed me up as his medical power of attorney. He gave me some paperwork in around 2016 and I assumed it was for after he died. I didn’t really read it or look it over too carefully. Having worked in Children’s Protective Services, (albeit in CA), I assumed it wouldn’t be too hard dealing with the Adult version in FL. Boy, was I wrong. When I say a person has to be out of the house they are renting by July 31st, this does not mean August 4th. But, when you deal with the government, you are on their time. It doesn’t matter what you need or want. I am sure this issue is in every state though, not just Florida. Also, there is more to the story. This is not the man who raised me but a man I have been in touch with a couple of times a year.

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Getting the Most Out of Psychotherapy

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Three men in period clothing discussing at a table in a study room
AI’s attempt at creating a photo of Jung, Nietzsche and Gandhi having a discussion.

My best sessions are those in which a client is there to learn, to grow, to explore, to heal. I enjoy someone who comes in ready to go. Who shows up on time (or lets me know they are on their way) because this means they respect the process and my time. I am there to aide you on your journey. I don’t know everything but I do know psychology. I trust my intuition to guide me. I trust your body language or the somatic resonance created in the room that I am witnessing.

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Seaside Hotel – Badehotellet: Danish TV Period Piece

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thetvdb.com

This 10 season WWII Danish period piece ran from 2013-2024 and is quite addicting to watch. You will find it on PBS. I found it to be Denmark’s description of WWII, similar to A French Village, in that they are capturing a small community of people during this period of crisis. The differences are vast, in that A French Village shows more violence and causes more stress to the viewer. In fact, at the end of A French Village, I felt emotionally exhausted. But, the French period piece is doing a lot of “Show Don’t Tell,” vs. the Danish piece is “Telling but not Showing.” Which is fine and a unique way of narrating a horrible time in history. With Seaside Hotel, we are seeing amazing actors, never out of character, who are capable of telling the story of WWII and how it impacted them. These are middle to well to do characters who choose to consistently take room and board at this seaside hotel, during the summer season. It is strangely comforting, as if your grandparents or great grandparents are talking to you from beyond the grave.

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Il Sorpasso 1962 – The Easy Life

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Jean-Louis Trintignant and Vittorio Gassman

This movie came out the year I was born. It is a road movie or a coming of age film for two young men. Bruno (Vittorio Gassman – Italian) is an aging player, and Roberto (Jean-Louis Trintignant – French) a very down to earth college boy, studying law. Roberto is eager to remain the man that he is, but soon finds himself questioning life. He seems to have a love/hate relationship with Bruno, who he knows is not a good person deep down inside. Bruno, for whatever reason is escaping reality. We don’t really know his back story, though we know that he jumped into marriage with a beautiful woman and left her and their daughter to continuing roaming through life. At the end, both of these men’s lives will be turned upside down and Bruno himself will finally begin to question the life he has chosen.

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Soul Collage Workshop in Columbus, Ohio

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This is a wonderful workshop that I will be co-presenting with MJ Abell who is a Soul Collage Facilitator. There will be materials available to make the cards – which you will take with you, light refreshments and camaraderie with like minded people. If you live in Columbus, I hope to see you there.

Q. Is this in-person? yes

Q. Do I need to be creative or artistic? no, this is not an art class, it is a creative workshop and you will guided to choosing the pictures that are right for you.

Q. Is this therapy? no, it is not group therapy it is a soul collage workshop and I am there only to briefly discuss narcissism, answer your questions and support you in your process.

Q. Do I have to be a survivor or what does this mean? The workshop will encompass people who are victims (still in the relationship), trauma bond (out but hoping to get back in) and survivors (those who are out and no they won’t go back but still want to work on this issue).

Q. What is soul collage? https://soulcollage.com/

Any other questions, please feel free to contact me at transformpsych@outlook.com

Virginia Roberts Giuffre – Nobody’s Girl

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People magazine

This book was probably the hardest and most challenging book for me to read. Not because of what she suffered, I was a social worker for 8 years and read hundreds of reports about child molest, dealt with clients who were trafficked, girls who were used as prostitutes on the street. It was the “Why” that kept nagging in the back of my head. Why was this incredibly, or seemingly strong woman having a book published posthumously? Why did she die by suicide? As a psychotherapist, I kept searching for answers throughout the book, and I walked away feeling as if I understood what they were.

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