Tag Archives: Abuse

The Zeigarnik Effect on Survivors of Narcissists

Posted on by
Reply

Watch the above video first, to understand what the Zeigarnik Effect is and think about not having closure with a narcissist as you watch this. Unfinished business. Being discarded. This also speaks to grief and feeling that you were unable to say what you needed to say, or questions you wanted answered at the end of someone’s life. Someone sent me a different video from Facebook this morning and my mind immediately went to narcissism and the hold it has on us when we are let go, like we never existed in their life. Yes, this can also be explained by cognitive dissonance, but I think what keeps us stuck (re-occurring thoughts) is the Zeigarnik Effect.

Continue reading →

United States of Babylon

Posted on by
Reply
Futuristic city labeled United States of Babylon with Babylonian monuments and American landmarks
AI Image

This past weekend I went to the Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey Epstein memorial reading room in Columbus, Ohio. I had to pass through a security guard, the police were there, they had to protect us from people who might try to bring ruin to the truth of these women’s voices. They could not even post the event on the events website for fear of someone trying to take advantage in a negative way. What I was left with was feeling a terrible sense of not being able to trust people with power more than I had ever felt before. Prior to walking in, there was a sense of this, people said that you shouldn’t, but after looking at and facing all these mounds of evidence (3700+ books of depositions, artwork from survivors, a timeline of events, and the red books that you could open and peruse – which did not have survivor information as the 3700 white books did), one can not look away. People don’t lie about being raped. Some of the names I saw, who were involved, were some new ones not shared in the media. I found my mouth gaping a few times. Look for this “bookmobile” to come to your hometown.

Continue reading →

The End of Woman: By Carrie Gress

Posted on by
Reply
Cover art by Ginny Sheller

It has taken me a long time to read this book and this is because I was getting married, putting my birth father (who I don’t have much of a relationship with) into assisted living, dealing with my business and other things that occur on a day to day basis. At the same time, any time I read a woman’s non-fiction book about our history, I find it difficult to take in the gravity of what is being said. Usually, it makes me angry and sick to my stomach and I often have to put the book down. It is hard to sit with what has happened to women in history or even in modern times. This book validated what I have felt all along. It is well written and researched and provided the necessary discussion topics, should I wish to do so or write about here.

Continue reading →

What is a Woman: Maya Angelou

Posted on by
Reply
Maya Angelou LA Times

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

~

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

~

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

~

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

~

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don’t you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

~

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

~

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I’ve got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

~

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

~

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

~~~

She is talking about women. Real women. The history of black women which can ring true for all women. There was a time when all women had no rights, they were the objects and under the control of men. Now we are in a time when men are trying a new way to objectify women by claiming they “are” women. You can make it up but it will never be the same. Plastic surgery, hormone shots, chopping off your dick to be a eunuch. You will never be a woman. You will only be a Eunuch; a guy without a dick. Stay in your own lane and leave us alone. We have fought our fought and won. Now you are making us fight again. The new misogyny. A raping of women, pretending we are one.

What is a Woman: Edna St. Vincent Millay

Posted on by
Reply
Edna St. Vincent Millay (storyinprogress.substack.com)

I, being born a woman and distressed by Edna St. Vincent Millay 

I, being born a woman and distressed

By all the needs and notions of my kind,

Am urged by your propinquity to find

Your person fair, and feel a certain zest

To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:

So subtly is the fume of life designed,

To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,

And leave me once again undone, possessed.

Think not for this, however, the poor treason

Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,

I shall remember you with love, or season

My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:

I find this frenzy insufficient reason

For conversation when we meet again.

~~~

Distressed now by men who won’t stay in their own lane. Who want to occupy ours because being a man isn’t good enough for them and they believe the grass is greener. Once again, finding new ways to possess women in sports, prisons, locker rooms, women’s organizations, where we have fought to have our own sacred and safe space. Laws designed to protect us once, we now have to clarify sex and fight once more. XX-XY

What is a Woman: Tacocat

Posted on by
Reply
Man pointing finger at woman who looks down holding papers in office hallway
Now men are trying to tell us we should accept them if they want to be a woman. They are just like “us.” Stay in your own lane boys. Be proud of who you are.

Men Explain Things to Me: Written by Lelah Maupin, Eric Randall, Brianna Mckenna, Emily E Nokes

Explain it to me
Explain it to me
Explain it to me, again

Though I know all about the words you’re spitting out
The floor is yours without a yawn
I already know where this is gonna go (I already know)
Where this is gonna go

Tell me to calm down
Tell me to calm down
Tell me to calm down, again

Don’t tell me what to do
My feelings won’t subdue
Just because you told them to
You’re a cliché, useless in every way (you’re a cliché)
You’re a cliché

Take up the whole sidewalk
Take up the whole sidewalk
Take up the whole sidewalk, again

This land is your reign in the palm of your hand
I walk around so you can stand
You’re in my way every day
You’re in my way, you’re in my way
We get it dude, already heard enough from you
The turning point is overdue

The Ironies of “Conversion Therapy” and Which Side You Are On

Posted on by
Reply
Alliance Defending Freedom adflegal.org

The American Heritage Dictionary defines Conversion as: 1. The act of converting and 2. The state of being converted. The third definition has to do with converting your religion, which is not part of this article. After the Supreme Court ruling on Chiles v. Salazar this last week, national organizations – politically liberal – for therapists are up in arms concerned about therapists “rights” even though they ruled in our favor. But it really depends on what side of the fence you are on politically as to whether it was in therapists favor or not. And, in respect to the term conversion, it is interesting that Colorado and 20 other states ban “conversion therapy,” but only if you are a conservative focused on children’s rights. It is perfectly okay to convert a child into changing their gender in these states (presumably if they all have similar wording to Colorado’s), but not okay to bring some balance to their childhood delusions especially when you are telling the therapist you are confused and need to talk it out (Kayley Chile’s Story). “Children in Colorado can be counseled toward dangerous drugs and surgeries—but not the reverse.” Quote from Kayley’s story.

Continue reading →

Survivor Stories – Women who Married Narcissists and Yet they Prevailed

Posted on by
Reply

Can you think of other famous women who prevailed, while or after being married to a Narcissist? It helps to remember, and helps us to stay strong and not give up hope.

Here I have shown you Catherine the Great. She was married to Pytor, a Russian Tsar, for a moment. The royal house conducted a coup d’état, and boom, he was gone. Catherine was Empress of Russia longer than any other monarch in that country.

Eleanor Roosevelt had a husband who embarrassed our country by sleeping with every woman he could get his hands on. While he was a great president in many respects, Eleanor is seen as being the first female president to some. She advised him, gave speeches, travelled the country, held press conferences with women journalists only. She survived by focusing on what she could do and could control, not by what she couldn’t.

Frida Kahlo is a famous Mexican painter, who was married to Diego Rivera, another famous Mexican painter (famous before marrying her). He slept with anyone and everyone, including her sister, before she could not take it anymore. And, before this, (and after) she focused on her art, staying strong despite her many miscarriages and terrible medical issues. She also had her own lovers. In the end, Frida is the one whom Mexicans have in their shop windows, whom they revere so much. Even Mexican restaurants in the U.S., you can find images of her, whereas you will see Diego in California doctor’s offices. She was quite an amazing woman.

And who can forget Princess Diana. A lovely woman, who learned on the day before her marriage that her husband to be was in love with another (who he is married to now). Yet, Princess Diana was more famous, more loved and will be while her husband is the King now and not many people care – except his loyal followers. She did more for the homeless, AIDS, raising awareness about land mines, and many other things. While she had a tragic death, which only made her more of a saint, her memory and contributions will live on. King Charles? Who cares. The world waits for her son and daughter-in-law to take his place. Right now, her ex is nothing more than a token object. A tradition, a bump on the log.

So, who can you think of? Don’t be shy. Comment below with your answer.

Survivors of Narcissist Workshop

Posted on by
Reply

This is also mentioned on my “Survivors” page. If you haven’t had a chance to take this workshop and have been meaning to, no better day then the present! There are quite a few videos to watch, learn and grow from. You are welcome to ask me any question you like and I am happy to answer this. If you subscribe to this website, you will also get a coupon to take the course for $9.99! or go to their website now and watch the video that will give you an introduction to the course. You will be glad you did!