The Zeigarnik Effect on Survivors of Narcissists

Posted on October 22, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Watch the above video first, to understand what the Zeigarnik Effect is and think about not having closure with a narcissist as you watch this. Unfinished business. Being discarded. This also speaks to grief and feeling that you were unable to say what you needed to say, or questions you wanted answered at the end of someone’s life. Someone sent me a different video from Facebook this morning and my mind immediately went to narcissism and the hold it has on us when we are let go, like we never existed in their life. Yes, this can also be explained by cognitive dissonance, but I think what keeps us stuck (re-occurring thoughts) is the Zeigarnik Effect.

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The Uprisers: A Hungarian Historical Fiction

Posted on October 21, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

The 70th anniversary for the 1956 Hungarian Revolution is in two days on October 23rd. The revolution began as a grass roots uprising with students and locals struggling to get Russia (then known as the U.S.S.R.) out of their country. This lasted for 15 days. Today’s modern wars such as we see in the Ukraine vs. Russia, are so much different than they were in the fifties. This was a time prior to social media, computers, and the U.S. was fearful of engaging with Russia and were involved with some other issues. This has been debated and discussed and available online by others.

In honor of the 70th anniversary, I wanted to share a historical fiction that I wrote about this time period. My reason for putting this book together is that I grew up with a refugee who was part of the Hungarian diaspora resulting from this revolution. Hungarians dispersed to various parts of the world, including: Canada, the U.S., other parts of Europe and even South America. This was not an easy transition as the borders were closed very quickly and they had to find ways to escape their own country. Again, this is a little different than how things are done today with modern communication.

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Listening: The Magic Wand in a Healthy Relationship or Dialogue

Posted on October 16, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Couple talking on a sofa beside a bookshelf and resting cat — AI generated photo

Usually when you ask a long-term married couple what made their relationship a success, they will say “communication.” This is a familiar tried and tested term they probably heard other people say. It is not really an answer, it is a word that requires an explanation. What does communication mean? And, the magic answer is two people (or more) listening to one another. Whether you are in a conference room, a relationship, talking to friends at happy hour, listening is the key to having good communication. We can talk all day long but if it isn’t registering, if the person isn’t validating and asking clarifying questions, if they are dissociating, if they are looking away from you often and not really turning toward you, if there is defensiveness (or criticism, contempt or stonewalling), they are not listening and therefore you are not communicating. You are talking. So, let’s dig deeper to talk about what this really looks like.

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United States of Babylon

Posted on October 15, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

This past weekend I went to the Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey Epstein memorial reading room in Columbus, Ohio. I had to pass through a security guard, the police were there, they had to protect us from people who might try to bring ruin to the truth of these women’s voices. They could not even post the event on the events website for fear of someone trying to take advantage in a negative way. What I was left with was feeling a terrible sense of not being able to trust people with power more than I had ever felt before. Prior to walking in, there was a sense of this, people said that you shouldn’t, but after looking at and facing all these mounds of evidence (3700+ books of depositions, artwork from survivors, a timeline of events, and the red books that you could open and peruse – which did not have survivor information as the 3700 white books did), one can not look away. People don’t lie about being raped. Some of the names I saw, who were involved, were some new ones not shared in the media. I found my mouth gaping a few times. Look for this “bookmobile” to come to your hometown.

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Charlotte Gainsbourg the Unassuming Actress

Posted on September 28, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Charlotte Gainsbourg is a French and British actress who has made films in several different countries: France, America, UK, Australia. In fact, my first time to see her in a film and began to take notice was the 2010 Australian film, The Tree. I actually thought she was Australian until I saw her in several more films. While she is not a raving beauty like Audrey Fleurot or a funny – cutsie actress like Audrey Tautou, I find her very cerebral and sophisticated, which makes her gorgeous. The roles she has played have been quite diverse, and like a chameleon she could be given almost any storyline and make you believe she is this person. Her movements on screen make her seem quite flexible almost like a puppet with no strings (Pinocchio). I say this because she is not what you would typically call graceful when she walks, I can’t imagine trying to imitate her and yet she is fascinating with this signature style she seems to own. Maybe France knows and understands her, but here in the U.S. I think we need to pay more attention, especially those of us who can handle her type of films.

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The End of Woman: By Carrie Gress

Posted on September 16, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

It has taken me a long time to read this book and this is because I was getting married, putting my birth father (who I don’t have much of a relationship with) into assisted living, dealing with my business and other things that occur on a day to day basis. At the same time, any time I read a woman’s non-fiction book about our history, I find it difficult to take in the gravity of what is being said. Usually, it makes me angry and sick to my stomach and I often have to put the book down. It is hard to sit with what has happened to women in history or even in modern times. This book validated what I have felt all along. It is well written and researched and provided the necessary discussion topics, should I wish to do so or write about here.

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What is a Woman: Dolly Parton

Posted on September 9, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Dolly Parton died on August 25, 2026, and since then, I have been thinking about her personality – how it was formed in a nicer more gentler time (pre-computers) vs. now with people being split based on their opinions. Opinions that have made a sharp and very extreme change since COVID. Dolly helped people feel calm from what I can see. She refused to talk politics – which was one of the three things you should never discuss in company. I have been looking for a copy of her memoir from 1994 – which she wrote and I hope will be republished. I’d rather read her own words. I am not too fascinated with her costumes or her singing, but I think she was a wonderful writer, a great human being and she represents the end of old country. This is what I miss the most about country music – which you can’t find any country radio station willing to play. A time when these men and women had to hawk their wares at town festivals, drive around the country pushing their 45’s to disc jockeys and hoping to get on the stage at the Grand Ole Opry. This was long before TV contests and Youtube. It was a time when these people grew up dirt poor and you could feel it in their music. They were not entitled but appreciative of their Appalachian heritage. Dolly was around for all of them, Patsy, Loretta, Tammi, Roy and Buck, Johnny and June, all the Carter sisters, Hank and George, so many legends with some leaving us much too soon.

Here is her take on being a woman from 1968.

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Getting Married at 64 – Eyes Wide Open

Posted on August 21, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Getting married the second time around – for both of us, we had our eyes wide open. This was more honest, clear, conscious and rewarding.

As a result, there were no young adult expectations, everything was discussed up front and no uncommunicated concerns about moving forward in marriage. Our first marriages lasted about five minutes – so to speak, both were abusive, emotionally and mentally immature and both had no qualms about breaking vows. Oddly, both our ex’s were veterans, though I don’t blame the military for their lack of responsibility – mental health issues were clearly to blame. Paul and I believe in loyalty, fidelity and emotional commitment. We are clear that this marriage is for the rest of our lives and we treat our marriage, as we have our relationship the last three years, as a team. Nothing will change for us, other than we are “legal” now and our love became even deeper as we said our vows. What lessons I have learned about getting married and the process of having a wedding, I will share with you here.

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Finding a Home for Stanley – The Burdens of Dementia

Posted on August 6, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Firstly, I live in Ohio, my birth father lives in Florida. I have no idea when the VA diagnosed him with dementia, I began realizing over the phone something was wrong a year or so ago. I started getting calls from his landlord (who lived with him) last year and we kept in touch. In June, he gave him till the end of July to leave. This was on me as Stan wouldn’t have remembered and they may have had words. I found out a month ago, that luckily, he signed me up as his medical power of attorney. He gave me some paperwork in around 2016 and I assumed it was for after he died. I didn’t really read it or look it over too carefully. Having worked in Children’s Protective Services, (albeit in CA), I assumed it wouldn’t be too hard dealing with the Adult version in FL. Boy, was I wrong. When I say a person has to be out of the house they are renting by July 31st, this does not mean August 4th. But, when you deal with the government, you are on their time. It doesn’t matter what you need or want. I am sure this issue is in every state though, not just Florida. Also, there is more to the story. This is not the man who raised me but a man I have been in touch with a couple of times a year.

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Getting the Most Out of Psychotherapy

Posted on August 1, 2026 by Jeannine Vegh

Three men in period clothing discussing at a table in a study room — AI’s attempt at creating a photo of Jung, Nietzsche and Gandhi having a discussion.

My best sessions are those in which a client is there to learn, to grow, to explore, to heal. I enjoy someone who comes in ready to go. Who shows up on time (or lets me know they are on their way) because this means they respect the process and my time. I am there to aide you on your journey. I don’t know everything but I do know psychology. I trust my intuition to guide me. I trust your body language or the somatic resonance created in the room that I am witnessing.

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