My premier course is now available at Udemy.com and I hope you will take the time to sign up and take the class! I think you will find it will enrich your life by learning more about what the Narcissist is, how it has effected your life and much more. Thank you!
Tonight, I had two mallards (male and female) that appeared on my front lawn while I was grooming the flower beds. The male was very aware of his position in this animal kingdom. He was dutifully watching over his lover as she nested on the grass. They moved their seats when I got up to cart the weed barrel, down to the road, for the garbage men tomorrow. The male moved carefully behind the female, keeping an eye on her that no one would disturb her. As she foraged under my fir trees, he continued to gaze on her and make sure she was taken care of. What a beautiful sight to behold.
Healthy, authentic love is exactly this. Two people taking care of each other, watching over one another, doting on each other. More is written online about unhealthy, abusive, narcissistic love – it would seem, than healthy, loving relationships and with this, it causes negativity to shine over couples. As a result, they are always picking on one another based on what they read. How can we expect couples to succeed if they don’t know what good honest love looks like?
Continue readingAfter 10 years of solitude, Carlotta had all but given up on the ability to imagine life with a man once more. This time of absence was her own doing, though it was largely the fault of the menopause; which was now nearing its end. The curse had turned into a bitter coming of age story. As her words shot out of her mouth, laced with turpentine just at the tips of the letters, that would leave a mark on anyone she had an opinion about. And these days this was just about anyone. Her pheromones would emit a scent, that was not enticing any more than if she had been a rotting corpse left out on a table to dry. One by one her friends had walked away, too tired of the dark energy that stood near her, even though they too were in the crisis of aging.
Each woman can only tolerate their own pain and each man is looking for one who is not yet touched; if he is lucky. She saw herself as a hag, up in a tree in an apple orchard, throwing barely ripe fruit down; on people who came near her. She tried to explain to people what was going on; to no avail. How could anyone understand a personal crisis which is designed for the individual? While they all know that the Grim Reaper, with his sickle, can come to call any day, and this is expected, most try not to think about it until the time comes; and then it is too late. When the old woman begins to emerge, it is like looking out your window one day and noticing the neighbor has installed a new walkway, that he had been working on for weeks and you had ignored. One day Carlotta had looked in the mirror and wondered who had suddenly appeared before her.
Continue readingHow does one lose their sense of self? This is a loaded question. With a child, it begins when you are more focused on your parent than yourself. You realize that their needs are more important than your own. You make decisions that they will like rather than what you want. You compromise your likes and wants and needs to make sure they are happy. It can come from not having boundaries growing up so that there is no space that is your own. One example is not allowing doors to be locked, even in the bathroom. Therefore, when a child is going through puberty any moment a person can walk through the door. This is frightening to hear but yet this has become a life they are accustomed to. You don’t know any different. Another example is a child who does not even have a room to sleep in and so there is no place to go and read or talk to your friends on the phone. Losing your sense of self can make a person feel like a robot; they are just there doing what they are told. As one person stated, it made them feel invisible from those around them.
Continue readingThrough the passage of time, I have found my mark
And I look back to see how treacherous it was, to embark.
I recall a moment of slashed wrists and a broken plate
A baby crying in the back, while he lay in wait.
I sat in a corner as people walked by
And observed that they lived while I tried to die.
The wells of my emotions had all run dry.
The body was stiff but craved the touch of
One so great who would want so much.
And I looked and I took but they were wrong
Yet even still, I went along.
I knew in my heart that I should walk away
But I craved and I yearned for a voice that would stay.
Someone to see me for who I am
To just once get it right, even if it meant putting up a fight
Thinking I must fix it, assuming it was my fault, to hold this
Relationship and behave like an adult.
In and out of the rooms I would go
Putting on one hell of a show.
I danced and sang and praised and played
While they sucked up the juices and
Fed in to my demise.
I saw the noose hanging above the trap
While I ate and supped on all of their lies.
And when I searched for my mother once more
To give me some respite and nurture these wounds.
Hoping to get a tender embrace, instead she would slap me in my face.
She would call out the shadows from within
And laugh as they sprang forth; ripping the scars on my skin.
There I would sit in a void.
Numb to this renewed place I so wanted to avoid.
Stuck in a web from conception to light
I would scream and cry out wishing it would disappear with the night.
Alas, I am here as is she and the trees are filled with my memories.
I struggle and plod forward with all of my might
Working up the courage to make it alone; assuming that I have the right
And thinking that one day I may become known
When the stone turns and the walls collapse and out of this I won’t relapse.
I dream and I write and I scour my brain, looking for the answers out on the plain.
To imagine this is possible to think that I can,
Like the train who would and could and should make it up to that terrain.
I walked as I thought until I came up with a plan.
Would it work? I wondered as I thought out in haste,
I didn’t want this to be one big waste.
To my surprise the person inside began to emerge
And I saw the words cause the fears to purge
The rage and torment slipped behind the gate
As I felt my fingers once more and I began to create.
In a relationship, the biggest reason for endings is the Ego. Werner Erhard once said “When your right, that’s what you get to be. Right. That is, not necessarily loved, or anything else nice: Just Right.” To succeed in couples counseling, both parties need to be willing to work on their ego, with the knowledge that both are making mistakes.
How are we able to delve deeper into our psyche? Breathe fresh air into our consciousness and let go?
This is the hardest task we must both follow in a relationship. The one thing that will make or break a couple. Can they let go of their need to be right or continue to just fight? Do they love each other and want to grow as a couple? If you want to grow, you both have to be willing to listen and learn. Otherwise, you have nothing.
We three Leos’ have read your books which were handed down from one to another. First, it was Lia, who once was a little toddler that crossed the border from Hungary in 1956 with mommy and daddy. She was sick and they were granted passage on a plane to get her to America more quickly, I believe from an Austrian camp. Then it was her mother, Marika neni who read it next. Marika neni has told me her story many times of coming to this country. She was a woman I grew up with, who was like an aunt but more of a sister to my stepfather. Lia was our babysitter in my formative years. Marika neni and my stepfather met at Camp Kilmer in New Jersey, when a group of refugees decided on Wheeling for their new home.
Last night I watched Gone Girl, which I found quite scary! I didn’t really like the ending but then I realized, if he had killed her that would have been predictable. If she had killed him, this would have been expected. It also would have turned the movie into a horror film and I would not have watched it. The ending was rather odd though and made no sense. Usually, this is what I love about foreign films, non-predictable and full of questions.
Essays on Politics and Life in Our America
Mental Health & Wellness
Clinical and Forensic Psychology, LLC
Discerning Gal
A Frequent Blog of Devotionals Inspired by A Course in Miracles, A Course of Love, The Way of Mastery, Choose Only Love--Plus More . . . with Celia Hales - https://www.amazon.com/author/celiahales
Freelance Novelist, Editor, Writer, and Journalist
Reading Into Our Past...
Ohio's best and biggest city
My Family Stories
Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.
"Trail Magic" DVD now available
Poetry * Mythology * Podcast
Sometimes I'm just itching to write!
Jeannine Vegh 