What is a Woman: Tacocat

Man pointing finger at woman who looks down holding papers in office hallway
Now men are trying to tell us we should accept them if they want to be a woman. They are just like “us.” Stay in your own lane boys. Be proud of who you are.

Men Explain Things to Me: Written by Lelah Maupin, Eric Randall, Brianna Mckenna, Emily E Nokes

Explain it to me
Explain it to me
Explain it to me, again

Though I know all about the words you’re spitting out
The floor is yours without a yawn
I already know where this is gonna go (I already know)
Where this is gonna go

Tell me to calm down
Tell me to calm down
Tell me to calm down, again

Don’t tell me what to do
My feelings won’t subdue
Just because you told them to
You’re a cliché, useless in every way (you’re a cliché)
You’re a cliché

Take up the whole sidewalk
Take up the whole sidewalk
Take up the whole sidewalk, again

This land is your reign in the palm of your hand
I walk around so you can stand
You’re in my way every day
You’re in my way, you’re in my way
We get it dude, already heard enough from you
The turning point is overdue

What is a Woman: Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox

Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox (reddit.com)

Now there was a time
When they used to say
That behind every “great man”
There had to be a “great woman”

But in these times of change
You know that it’s no longer true
So we’re coming out of the kitchen
‘Cause there’s something we forgot to say to you (we say)

Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves, yeah

Now this is a song to celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
Mothers, daughters and their daughters too, yeah
Woman to woman
We’re singing with you

The “inferior sex” got a new exterior (yeah)
We got doctors, lawyers, politicians too
Everybody, take a look around
Can you see? Can you see? Can you see?
There’s a woman right next to you

Sisters are doing it for themselves (oh yes, we are)
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves

Now we ain’t making stories
And we ain’t laying plans
‘Cause a man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man
(Just the same though)

Sisters are doing it for themselves

There was a time (there was a time)
When they used to say (when they used to say)
That behind every great man
There had to be a great woman

But in these times of change
You know that it’s no longer true
So we’re coming out of the kitchen
‘Cause there’s something we forgot to say to you (we say)

Sister are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves

~~

Sister’s are doing it for themselves now and men are trying to take advantage by riding on our rails. They weren’t here before when we had no rights. This is a new form of misogyny these men who want to “be” women and take our power away from us. Walking in our locker rooms, bathrooms, taking advantage of us in sports; ripping our scholarships and trophies away from us, no where can a woman turn these days and feel we have a safe space from these men. A new type of rape of the woman – raping us of our rights. These rights that we have fought long and hard for, which men already had. XX-XY

What is a Woman: Jeannine Vegh

Wise Woman

Walks Alone.
Stands Tall.
Sees and observes; Questions and speaks.

She is not well loved or even understood – because she knows many things yet to unfold.

People fear her or scold her as she will not deny nor conform.
What they don’t know they will not allow anyone else to either.
Yet others see and acknowledge and accept what she has to offer.

And she would suffer
Humility, yet show a brave woman with stamina and courage.

She would commit herself to a challenge if she would learn.

She would love with her heart even though it might break.

While others are following one by one as the head of the line tells them what to do – she would stand by the side and consider the pros and cons.

If there is a job to do it will be done.

When you need a friend there will be one.

Wise but not perfect; learned and perhaps educated.

A nurturer who remains detached and conscious of her soul; the whole world as it affects one.

The wise woman is not necessarily the leader yet she would succeed in keeping her wits about her and always come out on top.

The wise woman is the person you ought to seek and know.

copyright 2005 Jeannine Vegh

What is a Woman: Helen Reddy

Copy of the album when it came out in 1972 by EMI

I am Woman – Written by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever going to keep me down again

Whoa, yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained

If I have to I can do anything
I am strong [(strong)]
I am invincible [(invincible)]
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I’ll come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

Whoa, yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained

If I have to I can do anything
I am strong [(strong)]
I am invincible [(invincible)]
I am woman

I am woman, watch me grow
See me standing toe-to-toe
As I spread my loving arms across the land
But I’m still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Whoa, yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained

If I have to I can face anything
I am strong [(strong)]
I am invincible [(invincible)]
I am woman

Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

~~~~~~~~~

No one can understand what it is to be a woman unless you are born in our body. XX-XY

What is a Woman: Marge Piercy

Group of diverse women in colorful clothing smiling and embracing on a rooftop
A group of diverse women sharing a joyful moment together on a rooftop with a cityscape background

For Strong Women by  Marge Piercy

A strong woman is a woman who is straining.

A strong woman is a woman standing on tiptoe and lifting a barbell

while trying to sing Boris Godunov.

A strong woman is a woman at work

cleaning out the cesspool of the ages,

and while she shovels, she talks about

how she doesn’t mind crying, it opens

the ducts of the eyes, and throwing up

develops the stomach muscles, and

she goes on shoveling with tears

in her nose.

~

A strong woman is a woman in whose head

a voice is repeating, I told you so,

ugly, bad girl, bitch, nag, shrill, witch,

ballbuster, nobody will ever love you back,

why aren’t you feminine, why aren’t

you soft, why aren’t you quiet, why

aren’t you dead?

~

A strong woman is a woman determined

to do something others are determined

not be done.  She is pushing up on the bottom

of a lead coffin lid.  She is trying to raise

a manhole cover with her head, she is trying

to butt her way through a steel wall.

Her head hurts.  People waiting for the hole

to be made say, hurry, you’re so strong.

~

A strong woman is a woman bleeding

inside.  A strong woman is a woman making

herself strong every morning while her teeth

loosen and her back throbs.  Every baby,

a tooth, midwives used to say, and now

every battle a scar.  A strong woman

is a mass of scar tissue that aches

when it rains and wounds that bleed

when you bump them and memories that get up

in the night and pace in boots to and fro.

~

A strong woman is a woman who craves love

like oxygen or she turns blue choking.

A strong woman is a woman who loves

strongly and weeps strongly and is strongly

terrified and has strong needs.  A strong woman is strong

in words, action, in connection, in feeling;

she is not strong as a stone but as a wolf

suckling her young.  Strength is not in her, but she

enacts it as the wind fills a sail.

~

What comforts her is others loving

her equally for the strength and for the weakness

from which it issues, lighting from a cloud.

lightning stuns.  In rain, the clouds disperse.

Only water of connection remains,

flowing through us.  Strong is what we make

each other. Until we are all strong together,

a strong woman is a woman strongly afraid.

~~~~~~~~~

Being born a woman is not something you can relate to unless you were. XX-XY

What is a Woman: Agnes Whistling Elk

From the 2010 French documentary Babies, which is about the different ways children grow up around the world.

“It is law that all things must be born in woman, even things invented by men.” Agnes Whistling Elk (p.61 Medicine Woman by Lynn V. Andrews 1981).

“There are no medicine men without medicine women. A medicine man is given power by a woman, and it has always been that way. A medicine man stands in place of the dog. He is merely an instrument of woman. It doesn’t look that way any more but it is true.” Agnes Whistling Elk (p.1 Medicine Woman by Lynn V. Andrews 1981)

~~~~~~~~

You don’t become a woman, you are born a woman. You can’t understand this unless you were born this way. XX-XY

You’re Dating a Narcissist! – American Movie 2025

Fandango Ad

Naturally someone in Hollywood had to make use of the term “Narcissist,” that is making people’s careers rise up amongst the psychology profession. This is nothing more than an Instagram/Tik Tok video minus the subtitles. It is a “Tell Don’t Show,” because God forbid that someone would have to use their head. While they do get the narcissism correct, I wonder how many young women actually got something from watching this show? I specialize in working with survivors, so yes, I got it. All you are getting is Marissa Tomei’s character talk through the entire movie. Well, yell is more like it. Who talks like this?

I don’t recommend seeing this film, as you won’t learn anything from it. Wouldn’t this be the point? To help young women get a sense of the type of men out there they might be dating? There is nothing funny about it, to me as a psychology professional, and it is extremely predictable.

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Menopause and the Sage Woman

In my 98 year old home

A question I frequently ask my female clients mid-40’s and over, is about menopause. Have they begun, are they in it or have they completed the cycling. Many women do not know that they are in the beginning stages, just as I did not in my late 40’s. It can go on for many years before you are actually completing that one year pause – no more monthly cycles at all. You will deal with so many things psychologically. This is the main reason I am asking as a psychotherapist. Is it menopause, or has your life just begun to head in a very strange direction? I also recommend reading “The Fifth Decade,” by Dr. Deborah Wagner as it helped me find direction. Validation really. I was going through a very odd crisis.

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Seaside Hotel – Badehotellet: Danish TV Period Piece

thetvdb.com

This 10 season WWII Danish period piece ran from 2013-2024 and is quite addicting to watch. You will find it on PBS. I found it to be Denmark’s description of WWII, similar to A French Village, in that they are capturing a small community of people during this period of crisis. The differences are vast, in that A French Village shows more violence and causes more stress to the viewer. In fact, at the end of A French Village, I felt emotionally exhausted. But, the French period piece is doing a lot of “Show Don’t Tell,” vs. the Danish piece is “Telling but not Showing.” Which is fine and a unique way of narrating a horrible time in history. With Seaside Hotel, we are seeing amazing actors, never out of character, who are capable of telling the story of WWII and how it impacted them. These are middle to well to do characters who choose to consistently take room and board at this seaside hotel, during the summer season. It is strangely comforting, as if your grandparents or great grandparents are talking to you from beyond the grave.

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The Ironies of “Conversion Therapy” and Which Side You Are On

Alliance Defending Freedom adflegal.org

The American Heritage Dictionary defines Conversion as: 1. The act of converting and 2. The state of being converted. The third definition has to do with converting your religion, which is not part of this article. After the Supreme Court ruling on Chiles v. Salazar this last week, national organizations – politically liberal – for therapists are up in arms concerned about therapists “rights” even though they ruled in our favor. But it really depends on what side of the fence you are on politically as to whether it was in therapists favor or not. And, in respect to the term conversion, it is interesting that Colorado and 20 other states ban “conversion therapy,” but only if you are a conservative focused on children’s rights. It is perfectly okay to convert a child into changing their gender in these states (presumably if they all have similar wording to Colorado’s), but not okay to bring some balance to their childhood delusions especially when you are telling the therapist you are confused and need to talk it out (Kayley Chile’s Story). “Children in Colorado can be counseled toward dangerous drugs and surgeries—but not the reverse.” Quote from Kayley’s story.

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