In our society today, all we hear is the term “victim shaming,” blaming, and apologizing. We never, ever hear anyone just taking responsibility for the situation. We don’t hear enlightenment. But, then this would not be sensational. People who are self-aware do not often get drama or excitement from the press or social media. Not unless you are in a Yoga, New Age, Spirituality, or Meditation forum or app.
Continue readingDefeat, my Defeat, my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart than all world-glory.
Defeat, my Defeat, my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.
Defeat, my Defeat, my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be enslaved,
And to be understood is to be leveled down,
And to be grasped is but to reach one’s fullness
And like a ripe fruit to fall and be consumed.
Defeat, my Defeat, my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb my steep and rocky soul.
Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous.
(For my love of you.)
This is an excerpt from Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. in her book “Love Between Equals Relationship as a Spiritual Path” (page 118).
Personal love becomes true love, as you recall, when you can feel at home with your beloved because you trust what you see in the mirror: it’s not too wonderful (or demanding of perfection) nor is it too awful or dispiriting. It’s important to remember, when you are on the path of true love, you both have come to trust what you see in the mirror of each other’s eyes. In order for personal love to become true love, the relationship has to have equality, reciprocity, and mutuality, and the reflections of each other need to be Whole Self to Whole Self, which includes what is ideal and what is limited in both people. Why is equality important on this path? Why do partners have to be equals in order for disillusionment to transform into intimacy and ongoing trust? Because the equality signals that both partners want primarily to be with each other in the reality of what they both are – strengths and limitations. The relationship does not feel like a prison but instead feels freely chosen on the basis of knowledge of the self and other.
If love never fails, according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, then why does it? Why do men or women simply give up and walk away rather than choosing to work on themselves and their partnership? To say “I love you,” signifies that this other being holds value for you. That this person is significant to you.
However, just as a person says they are a Christian (or a Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, etc…) does not mean that they hold this value as sacrosanct. Someone said to me that many people hold the word “integrity” as a shield in front of them. I know this to be true because the person who said that was holding a shield in front of them about many things. The concept of being fraudulent and not having integrity is a foreign thought to me. Being mindful about what I say and do is something I hold very dear. However, I see couples in life and in my practice who fall apart because they are stubborn, egotistical, fighting to be right, or they are just not meant to be.
Continue readingYesterday, I sat down to watch nearly three hours of this historic fiction that took place between the 1900’s and 1920. From the onset, there is a clear indication of something bad that is going to happen though we have no idea what it will be until they walk onto the barge. Even then, we don’t really know what is going to happen but we can suspect. You are not watching this movie thinking there will be a happy ending as it is somewhat akin to those who watched the Titanic movie. In 1920, it was the end of the Tsar. The entire family had been assassinated; including little children. The communists were most certainly not very humane in their actions. In the aftermath of annihilating the family, they set about to destroy the lives of their soldiers as well. They did not want one single person left behind from the old regime.
Continue readingWhat is God and how does this fit into my life? Firstly, we must look at what “it” is not. God is not a man, a woman, an it or any new fangled plural you want to add here. God, Goddess, Gods are not a human being. It is interesting that I said “What” vs. “Who.” A Who would indicate a person. A What indicates a thing and object and even this is not correct. I look at God as an entity. A higher power, a supreme being, a non-mortal. So, first, I want to put it into this context as I am speaking here.
When the Bible says that Adam was made in God’s image and Eve in Adam’s, it does not mean that God looks like Adam and Eve, it means that he made them pure, honest, and true; two innocents, as they were not God but yet they were in his image. We are all God, or rather one with God and God is in us. Like Alanis Morissette’s song “What if God was one of us?” And, he is all of us as her video so aptly displays. God is also the animals, the trees, the rivers, the mountains, the grass, any object that is on Earth, even those that are man-made. This is God because he exists in all of us, our energy is in all of these things and so it is all God.
Continue readingI embrace this post with all my heart as it spoke to me and where I am at in my life right now. A holy relationship is a relationship founded in mutual trust, respect, love, passion, commitment and spiritual direction – serving whomever you serve and having a relationship that embraces your beliefs. It is much more but these are just my thoughts in this moment. The special relationship is that which serves the ego.
The new beginning you are called to now is a new beginning that, like all others that you have offered or attempted, will take place in relationship. The difference is that this new beginning will take place in holy rather than special relationship. (A Course of Love, T3:15.9)
We have arrived at a good place now. We are beginning anew, as we have in the past, but with a difference. Our new beginning will no longer be housed in special relationships that only promised us the good but did not deliver consistently. Our new beginning, this time, will come in the warmth of holy relationships. We have found the elixir, and we will not turn back from its bounty now.
How do we know that we are surrounded by holy relationships? We are not out for #1 anymore, at least not exclusively. We love others as we love ourselves, for…
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In my heart, there are tears.
Tears of joy,
Of sadness,
Of Pain,
Of love lost.
In my eyes, there are mirrors.
I can see in and out.
I can see you and me.
I can see that you do not see me.
In my ears, there are waves.
I hear music when we make love.
The rhythm of your laughter
Vibrates my soul.
In my nose, is your scent.
When you are near it is next to me.
When you are far it follows me.
On my mouth is your kiss.
I taste your passion at night,
When I am alone.
Let me in, let me see what is inside
Let me feel that place where you are trying to hide.
Two wounded souls from different places in time
Coming together without a map or a rhyme.
As you suffer in silence, I fly around in the dark
and search for words to help you embark.
Stolen moments meet us half way
to carry us forward thru a whole new day.
Two lovers gather in the evening silence
Yearning to touch and find their way once more.
They seek solace in the arms of each other
Hoping to find what they are looking for.
The past sits on the edge of reason and doubt
While it waits to be soothed and coddled.
Confusion lurks and passions await
Time moves on in haste.
The bed feels empty; the mind is reprieved
By a thought or a gesture that provides some relief.
I wait and I ponder and I wonder as I wander
The roads are clear but the climb is steep.
The painting is finished but the oils have yet to dry.
The journey is in motion and there is still more to do.
The dancers step forward and take their cue
While the room lets out a sigh…
The sounds are released and they move
Two people together, aware of nothing
But the instruments guiding their way.
Tonight, I had two mallards (male and female) that appeared on my front lawn while I was grooming the flower beds. The male was very aware of his position in this animal kingdom. He was dutifully watching over his lover as she nested on the grass. They moved their seats when I got up to cart the weed barrel, down to the road, for the garbage men tomorrow. The male moved carefully behind the female, keeping an eye on her that no one would disturb her. As she foraged under my fir trees, he continued to gaze on her and make sure she was taken care of. What a beautiful sight to behold.
Healthy, authentic love is exactly this. Two people taking care of each other, watching over one another, doting on each other. More is written online about unhealthy, abusive, narcissistic love – it would seem, than healthy, loving relationships and with this, it causes negativity to shine over couples. As a result, they are always picking on one another based on what they read. How can we expect couples to succeed if they don’t know what good honest love looks like?
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