Yesterday, our former president was the victim of a second assassination attempt by someone who, in the least, suffered from Anti-Social Personality Disorder. ASPD is a given when an adult commits a crime. With a child, it would be called Conduct Disorder. My thinking right now is – bad luck comes in threes – the Secret Service (and other law enforcement) did a great job yesterday, now they should be even more prepared, no matter where he goes. However, crime in America is worse than it has ever been. A lack of values, a division of people, anti-Semitism not seen since WWII, attacks on freedom of speech (usually conservative), a lack of professionalism in the workplace (all the way to the political debates) and then political lies that go unchecked from a biased debate.
Continue readingCategory Archives: Psychology
Why are 85K Unaccompanied Missing Minors Relevant?
Firstly, they are children. No matter how you feel about undocumented people in this country, children being shoved into our country by parents who think they are going to give them a better life and we accept them – they matter. They are unable to fend for themselves. When our country accepts them, we are basically taking them as a dependent. Sticking them where ever we feel like it to deal with getting them out of the way, is unacceptable. Saying we made phone calls – three attempts – is not enough. As an ex-social worker, it would not have been enough for my foster kids. For their future well-being in our country, it is not enough and they don’t deserve this. You should pay attention and here is why.
Continue readingSurvivors of Narcissist – Differences Between Men and Women
Yes, there are male survivors of narcissistic women and I am beginning to see them come to my office more and more these days. While the DSM -5 states that 50-75% of narcissists are men, that leaves those 25-50% who are women. And, think of the books written to address daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – they had to have fathers too.
Continue readingBe Very Clear
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In Order to Live – Yeonmi Park Book Review
I had only learned of this young woman a week ago. My boyfriend mentioned her name, we looked her up and found lots of scathing reviews from liberal journalists who don’t know the first thing about psychology or survivors of communist countries. As soon as I heard more about the story, I wanted to read it immediately to see for myself. My step/adopt father came to the U.S. in 1956 from Hungary. Post-WWII, after failing as an ally (luckily), their country was communist until 1989. I grew up learning about communism, Russians and fearing this type of lifestyle. I also, myself, wrote a book about 1956, The Uprisers, in which I did an extensive amount of research. And, I am a trauma specialist in my day job.
Continue readingOn Being a Woman
A woman is a person who was born unto herself. A woman is that which all human beings are born, whether inventors and geniuses, writers and astronauts, judges and Presidents, but even foolish men and women. You cannot “identify” as a woman any more then I can identify as a black or an Asian, anymore than you can identify as a bird or tree, a flower or the sea. You can pretend to be anything or anyone you want but you will never be anything then that which you were born to be. And if you try, well, no one is more the full than thee.
Being a woman is learning to be strong and wise. It is about respecting your body as it is about finding your authentic self – and not your ego.
Being a woman is having integrity with the self and all the roles you might take on. Being a daughter first and foremost, and perhaps a sister or an aunt, a niece, and one day becoming a mother and then a grandmother or a great-aunt.
Being a woman is finding the path you will go on as a woman. Listening to the teacher and to your inner voice. Finding that which you are most passionate about and setting goals. Honoring yourself by attending college or going down an adult career path.
Being a woman is being honest with the world around you and not ashamed of the body you were born into. There is no shame in being born a woman.
Being a woman is being a lover, a patriot, a voter, a friend, a guiding hand, a values setter.
Being a woman is having good morals and boundaries. Setting an example and being a good role model.
Being a woman is taking care of the feminine within but even nurturing the masculine as well. We are both yin/yang and must take care to respect both aspects of our self.
Being a woman is looking outside of yourself and respecting the world around you.
Being a woman is finding your spiritual devotion to that which you believe, whatever it is whether dogma or not.
Being a woman is nurturing your mental and emotional state of mind. Finding joy in having a healthy and whole body.
Being a woman is being what you were born to be, being proud of this and treating yourself to life and all the lessons that you will find along the way.
Being a woman is happiness if you respect and honor yourself, your values, your beliefs, your culture, your race, your family and friends.
Being a woman is loving yourself.
If you try to be anyone but yourself, you become an imposter, a liar, a deceiver, and no one is harmed more than you harm yourself.
Conflict In Relationships: Having a Healthy Dialogue
A relationship does not need to be divided as a result of conflict. If both parties are committed to one another and believe they are on a team – and operate as a team, both will grow with conflict. The reason so many couples are divided is that trust has been broken and they are in a two party household.
If only one partner is talking and requesting support but the other is not listening – stonewalling, or criticizing, being contemptuous or defending themself, the talker will feel bitter over time. They will feel emotionally exhausted. “I have tried explaining, but he/she doesn’t listen.” They might say. When they come into my office, the “listener” becomes very defensive, “yes I did.” I know they didn’t otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
Continue readingOur Soul’s Mate
Patience is a Virtue, but don’t sit around and wait, patiently for him to return.

Love, Sweet Passionate Love. An energy, not an emotion, words my professor spoke to me or us in class back in the late 90’s at Antioch University Santa Barbara. I had struggled until recently to begin to understand what this really might mean. We want to believe that love is based on emotions. This is what society tells us. That it is about sex, fulfilment, desires, needs being met, romance. And yet, every love story comes with a tale of how the two met. It is not a linear photograph. Remembering fondly, “When Harry Met Sally.” These two young adults met right in college; I believe they were driving somewhere together. Over the years, the two of them had a friendship, with husband/wife, break-ups, illness, and they still carried this bond, this fondness. It wasn’t until the very end of the movie that we see this, now older couple getting together, probably in their 30’s.
Continue readingWomen’s Rights Annihilated by Narcissistic Men and Feminists.
American life is in subtle ways so one-sided. The real natural man is just in open rebellion against the utterly inhuman form of life.
Carl Gustav Jung – a 1990 Documentary of an INterview (Psychology Library YouTube)
What has happened 103 years later, post 19th Amendment, that “some women,” the feminists, ironically are no longer fighting for women’s rights? Why are men suddenly determined to become women and take over our locker rooms, bathrooms, sports leagues and getting away with it? Why are there young children, taking the stand at PTA meetings, begging for support from the school board? Why are teachers turning against parents and sexualizing children across the country? Why are pediatricians not caring about ethics in favor of money from big pharmaceutical companies and the hospitals lavishing in this new cash cow – post pandemic favoritism (rhetorical yes)? Why is our own President, lavishing awards to men on International Women’s Day and promoting trans rights? And, why are we suddenly seeing children being brought to trans events – with a huge sensitivity now to pedophiles – and actors supporting this?
Continue readingConversations: A Way to Open Doors

Social media has forced society into new ways of living their lives. When I grew up, people stopped by to visit, we asked them to stay for coffee and dessert or even dinner. We were good hosts. We had conversations. Sometimes these turned into debates in a Hungarian household (and I assume any European one would be the same). It wasn’t fueled with hatred or venom, just trying to understand each other in a loud voice with arms swinging while they spoke. This was healthy because people were in discussion. The walk to the door started and ended with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now, instead of visiting each other and having conversations, we are stuck with posting, replies, ghosting and gaslighting. This has become normal that no one even bats an eye anymore when they hear about this. Offenders feel entitled to ghost or gaslight because they read an article about it. Anger has ensued as a result of this. Kids are committing suicide, people are being killed and its all in a day’s cycle of venting their hostility, their fears, their pain, their inability to have a conversation with someone.
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