Virginia Roberts Giuffre – Nobody’s Girl

People magazine

This book was probably the hardest and most challenging book for me to read. Not because of what she suffered, I was a social worker for 8 years and read hundreds of reports about child molest, dealt with clients who were trafficked, girls who were used as prostitutes on the street. It was the “Why” that kept nagging in the back of my head. Why was this incredibly, or seemingly strong woman having a book published posthumously? Why did she die by suicide? As a psychotherapist, I kept searching for answers throughout the book, and I walked away feeling as if I understood what they were.

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Virginia Roberts Giuffre Explains My Book, Posthumously

Yesterday morning, 12/1/25, I published an ebook, seen above through Books2Read. Last night, while reading “Nobody’s Girl,” By Virginia Roberts Giuffre, I was caught off guard by a passage she wrote in her book on pages 113-114. I thought to myself, Wow! I wish I had known she wrote this amazing explanation, as it is better than mine. It explains what I am capturing in this title from a survivors perspective. Or, to put it more bluntly “From the horses mouth.” She loved horses, so I think she would appreciate this.

I want to include the passage here for your own discovery and so that you might consider reading her book – to learn more, as well as reading my book for the emotional support. I will come back here, when I am finished reading Nobody’s Girl as I want to pay tribute to this very well written book. For now:

It probably goes without saying that, given what my father and his friend Forrest had done to me when I was a child, being trafficked by Epstein and Maxwell was painfully triggering. To the extent that I saw the two of them as pseudo-parental figures, their disregard for my welfare as they lent me out for sex made me feel a familiar strain of worthlessness. But at times, that familiarity was weirdly comforting. This is complicated to explain, but that echo of past hurts was somehow bearable to me because I’d felt it-and somehow endured it-so many times before. It was like finding myself once more in a room I’d lived in for years. I hated that room, but I knew its contours-the shape of its windows, the nap of its carpet beneath my feet, the click of the door lock when it was thrown. I knew I could exist in that room because I’d existed there before. At that point, at least, this made me feel less afraid.

This is what I am trying to express in my title “The Uncomfortable Comfortableness with a Narcissist.” The familiarity was/is weirdly comforting and Virginia goes on to add how her visual and audio senses are enlisted by her hatred for this comfortableness. The shape of the windows, the nap of the carpet on her feet, the click of the door lock. She knew how to be in that place, as it was so familiar. Since it was so familiar, she wasn’t even as afraid.

In my book, I am helping you to discover the different parts of our self that are employed as our agency is taken away, while we are being lured into a relationship with the narcissist. Unsuspectingly – at first – yet somehow very comforting, very familiar, very Déjà vu. Once you are in, the uncomfortable knowledge that OMG! I am here again. Now what?

No worries, I am providing you with psycho-education to become more conscious of this process, along with six helpful homework assignments to begin re-discovering your sense of self. When you use these tools, along with a psychotherapist of your choosing, whom you can find to support you on this journey, these are the keys to moving forward in your life. To having a healthy relationship and never going back to the uncomfortable comfortableness ever again.

The Uncomfortable Comfortableness with a Narcissist

My ebook is finally here and I can’t wait for you to read it and provide a review to help others who are struggling with this topic. You can find the book at Books2Read through a variety of your favorite ebook publishers. Today is the first day, so if you don’t see your favorite publisher yet, it may be there tomorrow. Hoopla will take a couple of weeks so please be patient!

Uncomfortable Comfortableness is an easy read-in-one-day, with six wonderful homework assignments to keep you thinking. I have been working on this for many months at the same time preparing workshops on this very same topic. It finally occurred to me, I needed something quick and easy. A book that gets right to the point. Another therapist came up with a similar concept – quick and easy for couples. I told her to publish it and then I thought – why don’t I do this for survivors? Well, here it is, just in time for Christmas/Hannukah/Winter Solstice or whatever holiday you might celebrate at this time of the year.

Thank you for shopping and again, leave a review if you don’t mind, so others might consider picking up a copy for themselves.

Margaret Sanger – Yes, History is Not Comfortable – Respect the Reasons

Image courtesy of Library of Congress Catalog/Wikimedia Commons

Margaret Sanger’s history is coming up for slaughter in a new documentary put together by the “right.” Even Planned Parenthood is running scared and trying to step away from their founding mother rather than taking a stand for history and the person who created their organization. You cannot erase the past and it is important to respect the reasons people had for their beliefs, as this was a different time and in fact a desperate time for women.

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Why Trans are Taking Advantage of Women Now

Men did not want to be women until around the pandemic. People were isolated and went stir crazy boarded up in their homes around the world. Until then, men didn’t really care too much to be women. Trans thinking was a small minority of people and let’s look at the reasons why – in my opinion.

  1. Women didn’t have the right to vote until 1920 and minority groups of women didn’t have the right to vote until much later. Asian women 1952, Native American women 1962, Black women 1965, for Latinas, there are three dates: 1929 for literate women, 1935 for Puerto Ricans and then 1975 prohibiting discrimination against non-English speaking people. Before 1920, men could vote without a problem.
  2. Women could not compete in the Olympics until 1920 and this was a special “Women’s Olympics.” Until 1972 with Title IX, you did not see women’s sports teams in schools and universities. Before this, men WERE sports.
  3. Women being allowed to work. Well, prostitution is the oldest profession known to women, but when it comes to legal paid professions, there was factory work – for poor people and women were not looked at too favorably if they had to do this. You could be a nanny or servant in a home. Then you were allowed to work as a Rosie in WWII. A couple of women worked as de-coders during the war, but this was an exception to the rule (they were pretty damn good!). Until the 60’s, you really didn’t see women having careers – as a rule. And, guess what, women didn’t get paid equally to men.
  4. Girls Scouts of America, was brought here by Juliette Lowe, who knew the Baden-Powell’s in England that founded the original boys and girls guide groups there. The Girl Scouts were founded here, specifically like in England, to help poor girls gather practical skills to survive in the world. Men already knew these skills, as they learned these things growing up.
  5. Daughters of the American Revolution was founded one year after the Sons of the American Revolution, by four women and this WAS a genealogical group whereby women had to prove (as did the men) that they were descendants of someone involved in the American Revolution (soldier, activist, etc…). As a previous member (before they began allowing men) and an adopted female, I had to prove my heritage by finding my original birth certificate before I was adopted. Luckily, Ohio allows this. Now, men can hand over fake birth certificates where the state now “legally” declares them a woman. Not the original birth certificate, which would say they were a male. Adopted folks still need to prove their original birth heritage. The four women who founded this once prestigious organization are turning in their graves in shame.
  6. Bathrooms and locker rooms. Well, if a man was caught in the bathroom or a locker room say at a ladies tennis court, their husbands would have beat the living daylights out of this person for even attempting to pretend to be a lady and peep in on their women. I am pretty sure this was not allowed at private country clubs either. We had respect for women at that time, even if we didn’t allow them to work or vote. Women were protected in some way shape or form.
  7. Women owning homes. My very own home in Columbus Ohio was first purchased by a woman in 1928. She was not married yet. I am not sure when a woman could first own a home but I can definitely attest to the fact that it was not easy for a woman to do so. You could not even open a line of credit, as a woman, until 1971, so if you purchased a home, you had to pay cash. This might have come from family inheritances or a family loan. Men NEVER had a problem buying homes, opening lines of credit.
  8. Going to college – there were a couple of colleges that allowed women to attend. Most notably here in Ohio, we had Oberlin and Antioch in the mid 1800’s. Yale and Princeton did not accept women until 1969 and Harvard it would not be until 1977. Men NEVER had a problem going to college prior to these years. If they had the money and for the ivy-league groups – the prestige – they went to college.
  9. Women’s prisons were first established between the 1870’s-1900 in the U.S. Now, suddenly, men can say they are a “woman” and they get a free pass to sexually abuse and impregnate women in federal prisons. The first male to female surgery – paid for by the prison system was in 2022. Now, finally, President Trump is trying to get this abolished. Trans people have “concerns” about their safety in men’s prisons. When was it “safe” to be in prison?
  10. Convents – there is already a man trying to insert himself into a nunnery in England. He is trying to establish himself as a Carolinian “sister.” Luckily, the nuns in this organization are saying they are unable to “accommodate a transgender nun.” Can you imagine? The sacredness of this woman’s organization, taking vows of chastity and suddenly a dick walks in the shower?

Men who want to be women need to have their own trans groups. Women have established themselves in women’s groups to have a safe space to be women, to talk, to share psychological and emotional space with one another. It is a sacred place to discuss violence in the home but also a place to discuss family matters; rearing children, dealing with husbands, taking care of the home, and financial support. A woman’s group is not a place for men, any more than I would want to invade a private men’s group such as the mason’s or a men’s athletic club. The privacy of women’s groups are no different than the privacy of Hungarian Cultural Associations (for Hungarians) or other ethnic groups. It is no different than African-Americans not wanting white people to join their group. It is why an Indian woman once asked me in an Indian store in California “What are you doing here?” It was sacred to her and I was not offended because I realized this suddenly. The same stares have occurred in La Michoacana stores as well. We have to accept that these places are for their (our) safety, their community, and their cultural sanity. Of course me visiting a retail store is hardly the same as invading a woman’s bathroom, sports team or prison.

To get a better perspective, take a look a this timeline of women’s legal rights in the U.S. and keep in mind that it depended on which state you lived in. There is no “timeline of men’s legal rights” in the U.S. except for minorities and foreigners. This is the reason why I have no sympathy for men who want to be women and take over our rights and spaces that we have worked very hard to gain. It is why I have no sympathy for liberal women “feminists,” who have become hypocrites. Why I left the Daughters of the American Revolution (last month) who shamelessly turned the organization upside down in 2022 (unbeknownst to me as this is when I as admitted). As a woman who has been reading and writing about women’s history for her entire life, I am not about to abandon my ancestors ever. Part of who I am is a woman with integrity. Men who choose to dress like women have no integrity or self-respect. They have no respect for women. This is a new way of being a misogynist and raping women worldwide.

As we celebrate WOMEN’s History month, we are not celebrating men who want to be women. That is a choice. Arguably they believe their mental health depends on this. However, a good therapist could help support them in this battle. Real women do not have a choice in the matter and we did not have choices in history and still battle with men taking advantage of us worldwide. Women are still forced into human trafficking – more than men. They are still forced into female genital mutilation in Muslim groups. They are still forced into marriage as children in third world countries. Every 9 seconds in the U.S. a woman is assualted or beaten. Not a man, not a man wanting to be a woman – A WOMAN.

Please bare this in mind when you are thinking about women’s history month during the month of March and in every single month thereafter. Women’s rights are sacred to women. Real biological women. XX

Who Can We Trust

This week has been a difficult and challenging week for me. I had to trust someone, an attorney, who luckily was able to help me get through one challenge. On another situation, an organization I belong to, decided to strip away my trust by changing their bylaws and not informing their members. I found out by reading about it in the Daily Wire. My local branch had changed their by-laws last year, I voted “No,” because it smelled fishy to me. The chapter regent beat around the bush when I declared my concerns to her after the meeting. She “would get back to me on it, after talking to some people higher up.” She never did. I resigned from the organization this past weekend, after reading this article and knowing that it was correct.

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