Loving the Narcissist: Patterns of Survivors

The Journey

Let me in, let me see what is inside

Let me feel that place where you are trying to hide.

Two wounded souls from different places in time

Coming together without a map or a rhyme.


As you suffer in silence, I fly around in the dark

and search for words to help you embark.

Stolen moments meet us half way

to carry us forward thru a whole new day.


Two lovers gather in the evening silence

Yearning to touch and find their way once more.

They seek solace in the arms of each other

Hoping to find what they are looking for.


The past sits on the edge of reason and doubt

While it waits to be soothed and coddled.

Confusion lurks and passions await

Time moves on in haste.


The bed feels empty; the mind is reprieved

By a thought or a gesture that provides some relief.

I wait and I ponder and I wonder as I wander

The roads are clear but the climb is steep.


The painting is finished but the oils have yet to dry.

The journey is in motion and there is still more to do.

The dancers step forward and take their cue

While the room lets out a sigh…


The sounds are released and they move

Two people together, aware of nothing

But the instruments guiding their way.

When you find yourself writing poetry, you might be in love with a narcissist. The Imposter Syndrome, Anxious and/or Avoidant types, Survivors of Narcissistic Parents, Empaths and Highly Sensitive People. These are the patterns of women that I see who attract the narcissistic partner. Often these are very strong professional women in very capable positions. Many times, they make more money than the partner and, in these cases, I see the male taking a more entitled role. For example, the male tends to become very lazy in the sense that he is not pulling an equal share of the weight, in the home, to compensate for his wife or partner making the higher income. This makes her life even more difficult.

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Patterns in the Narcissists Behaviors

Personally and professionally, I have dealt with narcissistic men in relationships, as family members, as clients, and in business. I like to study patterns that I see that continue to appear over and over again, as a psychotherapist and began to reflect on this when it came to the narcissist specifically; for this post. This is not research, just an observation that I have seen, heard, learned of. I do not work with the narcissist (except when they are part of one of my couples), so I often hear it from the partner. If I am working with a couple, I am able to listen to them when I do a family history and glean more from them with the questions I ask. You have read many articles on line, most likely, about the narcissistic relationship to the wife/girlfriend. This article is going in a different direction.

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Vincent Van Gogh – Why Him?

Why Vincent? There are thousands of artists who are well-known and celebrated from around the world. And yet, we all seem to be obsessed with Vincent Van Gogh. In the past year, I saw the Van Gogh Immersive in Charlotte. I visited a sparse collection with like mind-ed artists, from that time period, at the Columbus Museum of Arts. Recently, I listened to the first of a two part lecture locally, by Kathy Cleveland Bull, through the Jung Haus. With her urging, I watched “Loving Vincent” tonight. It was part of our homework assignment between now and the second half of her lecture. The second half will look at a psychological analysis of the family.

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – Enlightening Conversations

We gain a deeper appreciation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from various vantage points: groups of symptoms, root causes of emotional troubles, variety of treatment approaches as well as many sensitive insights to further everyone’s understanding.  Even though there is a commonly agreed upon definition, trauma and the traumatic stress that ensues has different and unique meaning for different individuals.  Join us for a lively discussion as we share our varying approaches and understandings.

To learn more about the presenters:

Ellen Seigel, LISW-S To work with Ellen as a Transformational Life Coach contact her: ellen@BeHappyNoMatterWhat.com or call 614-389-5795 To receive enlightening Contemplative Thoughts daily and receive a chapter download from her book Be Happy No Matter What – 5 Steps to Inner Freedom, visit http://behappynomaterwhat.com

Jeannine Vegh, IMFT at Transformative Psychotherapy, LLC https://jkvegh.com Survivors of Narcissists Workshop available at Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/embracin… Blogposts on Psychology, the Arts and Ohio Women’s History https://discerninggal.com

Disclaimer: As we are two humble therapists, all discussion you see between us in the video/podcast is based on our training and education, therapeutic work in our practices, and thoughtful opinions formed over our years. We are not the last word in this discussion, and we commit to providing ongoing resources beyond ourselves to enlarge your understanding of this complex subject. Thank you for viewing and we hope this will be helpful as you move forward on your journey.

Intuitive Wisdom with Ellen and Jeannine

In this episode we discuss intuition more deeply as well as how to access intuitive wisdom.

To learn more about the presenters:

Ellen Seigel, LISW-S To work with Ellen as a Transformational Life Coach contact her: ellen@BeHappyNoMatterWhat.com or call 614-389-5795 To receive enlightening Contemplative Thoughts daily and receive a chapter download from her book Be Happy No Matter What – 5 Steps to Inner Freedom, visit http://behappynomaterwhat.com

Jeannine Vegh, IMFT at Transformative Psychotherapy, LLC https://jkvegh.com Survivors of Narcissists Workshop available at Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/embracin… Blogposts on Psychology, the Arts and Ohio Women’s History https://discerninggal.com

Disclaimer: As we are two humble therapists, all discussion you see between us in the video/podcast is based on our training and education, therapeutic work in our practices, and thoughtful opinions formed over our years. We are not the last word in this discussion, and we commit to providing ongoing resources beyond ourselves to enlarge your understanding of this complex subject. Thank you for viewing and we hope this will be helpful as you move forward on your journey.

Anger and Pride – A Fortunate Man: Denmark 2018

The Irony! I just finished watching this 2 hour and 47 minute film that I think will become or should become a classic. I wasn’t able to find a good trailer online with subtitles and so you will have to just read what I am telling you here. (smiling) This is a movie about a poor man who dies a poor man and the reason is because of his anger and pride.

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Bambú Producciones – Spain

This is a Spanish production company created by Ramón Campos and Teresa Fernández-Valdés. I have come to love the romantic storylines that they put together in TV Series such as High Seas/Alta Mar, Morocco Love in Times of War/Tiempos de Guerra, Grand Hotel/Gran Hotel, Velvet and Velvet Colección, and Cable Girls/Las Chicas del Cable – the ones I have loved. These are period pieces with the most beautiful costumes of those era’s stemming from the late 1800’s to 1950’s and 60’s. The screenwriters they have chosen for these pieces create stories that stay in your head forever. These are nail biters that almost force you to “binge” watch as you are mesmerized from one minute to the last. A step above the “soap opera” style that I grew up with, I would even say that Grand Hotel far surpasses Downton Abbey with a more provocative and less dependable outcome. Downton Abbey plays more to the American audience, whereas Grand Hotel doesn’t care or even need to. When you have created a masterpiece, your work will embrace the audience it is intended for. Cerebral minds that are seduced by outstanding performances from actors that stimulate your senses.

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Ego Vs. Intuition – A Conversation

At first I wondered how we could have one conversation focused upon both ego and intuition. The conversation focuses upon the value of both the ego and the intuition as well as upon the lively interplay of these two very different faculties of mind.

To learn more about the presenters:

Ellen Seigel, LISW-S

Ellen Seigel, LISW-S To work with Ellen as a Transformational Life Coach contact her: ellen@BeHappyNoMatterWhat.com or call 614-389-5795 To receive enlightening Contemplative Thoughts daily and receive a chapter download from her book Be Happy No Matter What – 5 Steps to Inner Freedom, visit http://behappynomaterwhat.com

Jeannine Vegh, IMFT at Transformative Psychotherapy, LLC

https://jkvegh.com

Survivors of Narcissists Workshop available at Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/embracing-me/?referralCode=C515C00CF7BBEE83BEC5

Disclaimer: As we are two humble therapists, all discussion you see between us in the video/podcast is based on our training and education, therapeutic work in our practices, and thoughtful opinions formed over our years. We are not the last word in this discussion, and we commit to providing ongoing resources beyond ourselves to enlarge your understanding of this complex subject. Thank you for viewing and we hope this will be helpful as you move forward on your journey.

The Shack – American Movie

Recently, a client of mine raved about this movie that she begged me to watch. Generally, I don’t watch American films as I find them dull and boring. An egotistical showcase for some smarmy actor or actress who is overused, overacting, and not interesting in the least. The storyline often lacks depth and integrity. However, I could see before my eyes, the breakthrough my client had had, in regard to forgiveness and revenge: two topics we had been working on for several weeks. I was captivated by their unyielding dedication and the trailer they showed me in session convinced me.

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L’Art Du Crime: France TV Series

The Art of Crime, (2017 – present) stars Nicolas Gob (A French Village) and Éléonore Bernheim.

Murderers in Paris think about art before committing a crime – right? They have the Louvre, and so many famous French artists: Degas, Manet, Monet, Toulouse-Lautrec, and Rodin for starters. Aren’t all Parisians cerebral junkies who feast on literature, opera, art, fashion, wine, and jazz from the time they are born till the time they die? It is only natural to assume that they murder sometimes too. The average detective in France is probably not an art connoisseur,(probably brought into the city), and as a result, an art historian has to be brought in. She along with the occasional support from her father, who shares her knowledge and pedigrees, must work side by side with homicide to find the culprit behind each heinous crime. In the meantime, one learns more about art and the other about crime.

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