Anger and Pride – A Fortunate Man: Denmark 2018

The Irony! I just finished watching this 2 hour and 47 minute film that I think will become or should become a classic. I wasn’t able to find a good trailer online with subtitles and so you will have to just read what I am telling you here. (smiling) This is a movie about a poor man who dies a poor man and the reason is because of his anger and pride.

The moments in this movie when you knew it was a life changing decision that needed to be made and instead, his anger and pride kept him from going in the right direction. How many times have we all had these moments in life when we look back and could kick ourselves for being so stupid!?! And yet, in the moment, we have no idea that this is our only chance, that this moment will not return, that we have just made the dumbest decision that will rule our entire life.

In this case, Peter/Per is a genius inventor who could have changed Denmark’s energy system forever and he could have been a very wealthy man and lived on top of a hill in a mansion. He could have had a loving and devoted woman by his side and instead, in his spiritual crisis, he chose the wrong one. Raised in poverty by a preacher who was strict and pious and unloving, Peter grew up having his talents wasted and determining to rebel. Only, he went way too far.

When someone is angry, they go into a space of paranoia, dissociation, self-righteousness, and cannot listen to what the other person is saying. No matter how much that person tries to plead with them, beg them, point out to them, the anger holds them hostage in their mind. Pride keeps the man from coming back in humility and eating crow. Although, in this case, he does but it is way, way too late. If only, if only, and yet, at least he is left with someone who does return to him, years later to share that they are still devoted, spiritually, at least.

A woman can be so much stronger than a man when she is in love. Men don’t realize this, though perhaps they don’t want to. Perhaps, they are afraid of this love and self-sabotage on purpose. Not feeling worthy.

Peter wanted so much to realize his dreams, he wanted the validation his father never gave him. While he did get the appreciation and approval, it wasn’t good enough. He suddenly behaved like an entitled American celebrity and determined that since he was noteworthy; he should have it all his way. He couldn’t realize that being a young man, there might be something that these elder people had to offer. That since he had never been an engineer before and had not even completed his studies; they might know something he didn’t. That one thing, that could have kept the tower of Pisa from leaning in Italy, for example. But he didn’t. He thought he knew it all.

This is the mistake so many of us make in life. What I try to teach my clients about “unmet needs from childhood.” What does it look like if you have never had it before? How will you know how to handle it when it is met? We fail because we sabotage when we do finally have it. We don’t know what to do with it, it is foreign, it is confusing, it is not the chaos we are used to and so, like with the lottery winners – most who become bankrupt within a year, we let our anger get in the way and ruin our lives and then our pride keeps us from humbling ourselves and apologizing.

Watch this movie, if you can relate. Then go out and clean up your life.

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