Survivor Stories – A Woman Escaping from Communist North Korea
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Tag Archives: Women
Who is Telling the Truth? – The Narcissist Always Wins
As a psychotherapist, I am dumbfounded by the stories I always hear in my room. It is the family law stories that get me every time. The client, no matter whether it is male or female, the survivor of the narcissist, is always the one who loses when there is a narcissistic spouse involved. Here in Ohio, it is a “woman’s only state,” but I can tell you this is NOT true when there is a narcissist. I’d like to even say only with children, but I have had women who had money (not lots, but more then him) who have had to fight him trying to take their money, when they were only married a few years. I have had men who were up against a woman (with no children together) and had to fight her lies and manipulation in court – not for money – but for power. Why is it that nothing is being done about this? Why is it the court’s always believe them? Why are they not trying to create change, or to have a conscience?
Continue readingMy Parent is a Narcissist, I Just Found Out – Now What?
Recently, my client began to become aware of her mother and father both being what she would presume to be a narcissist. I had know they were showing symptoms of this all along, but she wasn’t ready yet and I am not going to push someone. The awareness was like “coming out of the closet,” excitement/honeymoon stage of “Aha, I finally have some answers.” Now, we are at the “Now what stage” and not feeling so excited. “How do I hang out with them? I like some things about them and don’t want to abandon them but at the same time, how do I deal with this” (paraphrased). This is the question I am asked so often. And, now I will give you some thoughts on this.
Continue readingGrowing Up in a Healthy Household – What it Must be Like
Personally, I can only imagine as I did not grow up in one nor was I allowed to raise my own. However, I am reading a political book right now, about a very famous/infamous (depending on who would hear the name) woman and her hidden subtitle might be “Growing Up in a Healthy Household.” I am withholding her name because I want to focus on my intent here. Her book is a very controversial but factual storyline about a life changing event in our country. Her father is a previous Vice-President and the two of them wrote a book together. Her mother has written several books, one of which she brought up in this book – that I will be reading next. As she writes about her family, brought up for various reasons, it is to share different things within the context of her book. For me, it kept hitting home, what it must be like to have two healthy parents.
Continue readingWhen is it NOT Narcissism?
Unless you are licensed in the psychology profession and have some training or knowledge in the field of personality disorders, and you have had personal or professional contact with this person, it is not narcissism, it is purely speculation.
Continue readingAttachment Styles: A Basic Overview
I think Brianna’s videos are very useful in understanding Attachment. The narcissists “attachment” to parents/caregivers, early on initiates the coping mechanism that they will create in their life – which we will come to understand as they age into adulthood. I invite you to subscribe to her channel so you can learn more.
Disclaimer: Learning about attachment theory is not a “diagnosis,” and it is not like your astrological sign. For example, you wouldn’t say to someone “What is your attachment style?” Not a lot of people follow psychology videos and you don’t want to try your hat at pop-psychology on a date. Instead, I show you this merely for self-awareness so that you can discover more about yourself and to understand perhaps more about your partner.
Lucius – Go Home – I Don’t Need You Anyway
When I first heard this song, it was a “wind down” from a spinning class. The teacher had eclectic tastes in music. I wasn’t quite sure what all the words were and when he told me the band I had never heard of them. From what little I did hear though, I knew I needed to hear it as soon as I got home. Little did I know, I was about to witness an amazing video that it is hard not to be captivated by.
The music and lyrics immediately pull you in and you definitely DON’T want to listen if you are having a bad day. Very depressing.
What I hear is the song of a woman in a relationship with a very controlling person. A little different then the obvious lyrics of Voices Carry by Til Tuesday. “I’m your dolly stuffed with extra baggage.” She came into this relationship as a very vulnerable person, who is at this point not even human. The cartoon doll in this video is poignant as it portrays the slow motion, the dragging of a person with major depressive disorder. What I especially like was the red yarn. I asked myself what this was symbolic of an intuitively, I received the answer “a web of lies.”
Continue readingWhich Came First, Chicken/Egg – the Manipulation Trail by a Narcissist
Remember as kid when you and your siblings would go down the “you started it,” trail? The emotional immaturity does not stop when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. You are in a relationship with them and want to hold them accountable to something and they immediately go on the defense with a “Well, you did this.” You get so focused on what they are saying, trying to please them, that you start forgetting what you wanted to have that conversation with them for in the first place. Sound familiar? Perhaps you need to keep reading.
Continue readingRelationships, Communication and Not Giving Up
A relationship is hard work but when two people are committed to each other equally then you have a better chance of surviving the long haul. Notice I said equally. If you are in a narcissistic relationship, you are probably the one making the choice to stay and are committed to the relationship yourself. The narcissist is committed but not making a “choice,” it is just a decision, nor are they working hard to make things work. Generally they might say “I am not the one with the problem, you are.” Ouch! That bites. This is a very arrogant statement too. Relationship is about two people not one. If one is hurting, the other should be concerned about this.
Continue readingInvisible Gaslighting
As I was talking to a client the other day, they spoke of their shock and now a feeling of the “reality sinking in,” but still having no clue what happened, I kept thinking about how to explain this. I suddenly said that it felt like it was invisible, or stealth and seemed like gaslighting. Many people break-up with a partner, there is no clue at all, some thoughts but no idea about the “why.” The reality is the cognitive dissonance, remembering all the good times they had and then out of nowhere “the rug is pulled out from under them.”
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Jeannine Vegh 