Yesterday, our former president was the victim of a second assassination attempt by someone who, in the least, suffered from Anti-Social Personality Disorder. ASPD is a given when an adult commits a crime. With a child, it would be called Conduct Disorder. My thinking right now is – bad luck comes in threes – the Secret Service (and other law enforcement) did a great job yesterday, now they should be even more prepared, no matter where he goes. However, crime in America is worse than it has ever been. A lack of values, a division of people, anti-Semitism not seen since WWII, attacks on freedom of speech (usually conservative), a lack of professionalism in the workplace (all the way to the political debates) and then political lies that go unchecked from a biased debate.
Continue readingTag Archives: Society
Pretend I’m Not Here – Barbara Feinman Todd
I really enjoyed reading this book from beginning to end, and I am not a liberal. Ms. Feinman Todd explores herself psychologically, throughout the book, which I appreciated. I think it builds trust and character in a human; when they can be real with their audience. It is something I try to do myself with my posts.
To say she has been humbled is putting it lightly. It isn’t so bad when you are being thrown under the bus by a girlfriend or boyfriend, teacher or boss. But when that person is Bob Woodrow (Watergate fame) and Hillary Clinton, yeah, that is a bit of a hiccup.
Part way into the book, I actually looked her up online as I thought she looked familiar. Not because of this infamous 15 minutes but I thought she might have been to the California Writer’s Club bi-annual conference perhaps. This is when I read the part about the hiccup, when her book was reviewed by her old “boss” at the Washington Post – where she got her start in life as a researcher and subsequent “ghosting” gigs. Needless to say, they blamed her and of course stood up for their top writer. One more reason to never trust the media. I learned this by being a social worker where you can’t speak out for the children you are responsible for. The media just makes things up, or covers their ass.
As I noted, she shared herself quite openly in this book. It is not hard to see how a young woman, looking up to a highly revered reporter – whom she has put on a pedestal – would trust him over her own intuition. How many times have women succumbed to the charms of a man. The prisons are filled with women who have committed an act for a man, very rarely is it of their own volition.
I write about narcissism all the time, on my psychology page. This is what I specialize in – survivors of narcissists. Not saying Bob is a narcissist, just saying that it is interesting when people don’t take responsibility for their actions. To think people are that naïve – well, they are, sad but I am trusting the little guy over the big guy. I mean, even if she went to see Bob and blurted out confidential information – a bigger person, who knew he was her mentor, would have counseled her and kept it to themselves. But, Bob isn’t a psychotherapist who retains confidential information. Although he did for “Deep Throat,” but only his name, not the confidential information. You never reveal your source. He is a big time reporter that gets people impeached. I am sure by then (late 90’s), he had become a bit big for his britches. How I am looking at it, was it really that important that the American people knew that Hillary was into psychics? BFD. As Kenny Rogers said, no when to hold them and no when to fold them. Personally, I would never trust the guy. Luckily, I doubt I will ever have to.
The complete title of the book (published 2017) is “Pretend I’m Not Here.” The secondary title, “How I worked with three newspaper icons, one powerful first lady, and still managed to dig myself out of the Washington swamp.” Quite a mouthful. I picked it up on sale at the Worthington Library for the title, not the secondary byline. It is easy to get the point when the book is written by a woman.
On Being a Woman
A woman is a person who was born unto herself. A woman is that which all human beings are born, whether inventors and geniuses, writers and astronauts, judges and Presidents, but even foolish men and women. You cannot “identify” as a woman any more then I can identify as a black or an Asian, anymore than you can identify as a bird or tree, a flower or the sea. You can pretend to be anything or anyone you want but you will never be anything then that which you were born to be. And if you try, well, no one is more the full than thee.
Being a woman is learning to be strong and wise. It is about respecting your body as it is about finding your authentic self – and not your ego.
Being a woman is having integrity with the self and all the roles you might take on. Being a daughter first and foremost, and perhaps a sister or an aunt, a niece, and one day becoming a mother and then a grandmother or a great-aunt.
Being a woman is finding the path you will go on as a woman. Listening to the teacher and to your inner voice. Finding that which you are most passionate about and setting goals. Honoring yourself by attending college or going down an adult career path.
Being a woman is being honest with the world around you and not ashamed of the body you were born into. There is no shame in being born a woman.
Being a woman is being a lover, a patriot, a voter, a friend, a guiding hand, a values setter.
Being a woman is having good morals and boundaries. Setting an example and being a good role model.
Being a woman is taking care of the feminine within but even nurturing the masculine as well. We are both yin/yang and must take care to respect both aspects of our self.
Being a woman is looking outside of yourself and respecting the world around you.
Being a woman is finding your spiritual devotion to that which you believe, whatever it is whether dogma or not.
Being a woman is nurturing your mental and emotional state of mind. Finding joy in having a healthy and whole body.
Being a woman is being what you were born to be, being proud of this and treating yourself to life and all the lessons that you will find along the way.
Being a woman is happiness if you respect and honor yourself, your values, your beliefs, your culture, your race, your family and friends.
Being a woman is loving yourself.
If you try to be anyone but yourself, you become an imposter, a liar, a deceiver, and no one is harmed more than you harm yourself.
In the Mood for Love, A Chinese Masterpiece in Avant Garde
A 2000 film by Wong Kar-Wai, this is a brilliantly directed, choreographed, acted, film with amazing camera work that will have you wondering what is going on. I say the latter because you will want to watch this at least two times to understand what is going on. This was the consensus of my movie group last night. I loved it the first time I watched it, but was confused, as an American, by the names, the characters and all the cameo type scenes. I loved it once I figured out what was going on the first time, and then the second time, being prepared for what was about to take place, I could relax and prepare and enjoy. I have learned with foreign films – trust the director – he knows what he is doing.
Continue readingConflict In Relationships: Having a Healthy Dialogue
A relationship does not need to be divided as a result of conflict. If both parties are committed to one another and believe they are on a team – and operate as a team, both will grow with conflict. The reason so many couples are divided is that trust has been broken and they are in a two party household.
If only one partner is talking and requesting support but the other is not listening – stonewalling, or criticizing, being contemptuous or defending themself, the talker will feel bitter over time. They will feel emotionally exhausted. “I have tried explaining, but he/she doesn’t listen.” They might say. When they come into my office, the “listener” becomes very defensive, “yes I did.” I know they didn’t otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
Continue readingOur Soul’s Mate
Patience is a Virtue, but don’t sit around and wait, patiently for him to return.

Love, Sweet Passionate Love. An energy, not an emotion, words my professor spoke to me or us in class back in the late 90’s at Antioch University Santa Barbara. I had struggled until recently to begin to understand what this really might mean. We want to believe that love is based on emotions. This is what society tells us. That it is about sex, fulfilment, desires, needs being met, romance. And yet, every love story comes with a tale of how the two met. It is not a linear photograph. Remembering fondly, “When Harry Met Sally.” These two young adults met right in college; I believe they were driving somewhere together. Over the years, the two of them had a friendship, with husband/wife, break-ups, illness, and they still carried this bond, this fondness. It wasn’t until the very end of the movie that we see this, now older couple getting together, probably in their 30’s.
Continue readingWomen’s Rights Annihilated by Narcissistic Men and Feminists.
American life is in subtle ways so one-sided. The real natural man is just in open rebellion against the utterly inhuman form of life.
Carl Gustav Jung – a 1990 Documentary of an INterview (Psychology Library YouTube)
What has happened 103 years later, post 19th Amendment, that “some women,” the feminists, ironically are no longer fighting for women’s rights? Why are men suddenly determined to become women and take over our locker rooms, bathrooms, sports leagues and getting away with it? Why are there young children, taking the stand at PTA meetings, begging for support from the school board? Why are teachers turning against parents and sexualizing children across the country? Why are pediatricians not caring about ethics in favor of money from big pharmaceutical companies and the hospitals lavishing in this new cash cow – post pandemic favoritism (rhetorical yes)? Why is our own President, lavishing awards to men on International Women’s Day and promoting trans rights? And, why are we suddenly seeing children being brought to trans events – with a huge sensitivity now to pedophiles – and actors supporting this?
Continue readingConversations: A Way to Open Doors

Social media has forced society into new ways of living their lives. When I grew up, people stopped by to visit, we asked them to stay for coffee and dessert or even dinner. We were good hosts. We had conversations. Sometimes these turned into debates in a Hungarian household (and I assume any European one would be the same). It wasn’t fueled with hatred or venom, just trying to understand each other in a loud voice with arms swinging while they spoke. This was healthy because people were in discussion. The walk to the door started and ended with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now, instead of visiting each other and having conversations, we are stuck with posting, replies, ghosting and gaslighting. This has become normal that no one even bats an eye anymore when they hear about this. Offenders feel entitled to ghost or gaslight because they read an article about it. Anger has ensued as a result of this. Kids are committing suicide, people are being killed and its all in a day’s cycle of venting their hostility, their fears, their pain, their inability to have a conversation with someone.
Continue readingTemptation (1946 film) – The Trauma Bond Experience
Last night I went on Youtube to look for something interesting and different to watch. I had no idea I could actually watch an entire film without advertising, while not being a payer. I clicked on the link thinking it was a critic engaging in a discussion of the film and ended up watching this wonderful storyline.
The film stars Merle Oberon who was a British-Asian actress (her Asian heritage was a secret to the audience in that time period). This was my first time to see her in a movie other than Wuthering Heights. In Temptation, a woman named Ruby is looking to strengthen her financial picture, and goes after an Egyptologist, Nigel. She shares her secret ambitions with her doctor, assuming that he must keep this secret. She assumes he does. Her marriage takes her to Egypt, and she leads a very boring life until she meets Mahmoud Baroudi. This is when the trauma bond begins.

The Worst Person in the World – Norway
I resonated with Julie and the confusion she has as a young woman. The movie doesn’t end with less confusion, just that she has grown a little more as a person. This is normal with foreign films, as only Americans seem to need to be nurtured at the end of the film. I like the foreign way because it is more realistic to me. No one’s life ends with a nurtured ending. It ends with the choices we made and whether we have learned anything from it or not.
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