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Category Archives: Psychology
In Order to Live – Yeonmi Park Book Review
I had only learned of this young woman a week ago. My boyfriend mentioned her name, we looked her up and found lots of scathing reviews from liberal journalists who don’t know the first thing about psychology or survivors of communist countries. As soon as I heard more about the story, I wanted to read it immediately to see for myself. My step/adopt father came to the U.S. in 1956 from Hungary. Post-WWII, after failing as an ally (luckily), their country was communist until 1989. I grew up learning about communism, Russians and fearing this type of lifestyle. I also, myself, wrote a book about 1956, The Uprisers, in which I did an extensive amount of research. And, I am a trauma specialist in my day job.
Continue readingOn Being a Woman
A woman is a person who was born unto herself. A woman is that which all human beings are born, whether inventors and geniuses, writers and astronauts, judges and Presidents, but even foolish men and women. You cannot “identify” as a woman any more then I can identify as a black or an Asian, anymore than you can identify as a bird or tree, a flower or the sea. You can pretend to be anything or anyone you want but you will never be anything then that which you were born to be. And if you try, well, no one is more the full than thee.
Being a woman is learning to be strong and wise. It is about respecting your body as it is about finding your authentic self – and not your ego.
Being a woman is having integrity with the self and all the roles you might take on. Being a daughter first and foremost, and perhaps a sister or an aunt, a niece, and one day becoming a mother and then a grandmother or a great-aunt.
Being a woman is finding the path you will go on as a woman. Listening to the teacher and to your inner voice. Finding that which you are most passionate about and setting goals. Honoring yourself by attending college or going down an adult career path.
Being a woman is being honest with the world around you and not ashamed of the body you were born into. There is no shame in being born a woman.
Being a woman is being a lover, a patriot, a voter, a friend, a guiding hand, a values setter.
Being a woman is having good morals and boundaries. Setting an example and being a good role model.
Being a woman is taking care of the feminine within but even nurturing the masculine as well. We are both yin/yang and must take care to respect both aspects of our self.
Being a woman is looking outside of yourself and respecting the world around you.
Being a woman is finding your spiritual devotion to that which you believe, whatever it is whether dogma or not.
Being a woman is nurturing your mental and emotional state of mind. Finding joy in having a healthy and whole body.
Being a woman is being what you were born to be, being proud of this and treating yourself to life and all the lessons that you will find along the way.
Being a woman is happiness if you respect and honor yourself, your values, your beliefs, your culture, your race, your family and friends.
Being a woman is loving yourself.
If you try to be anyone but yourself, you become an imposter, a liar, a deceiver, and no one is harmed more than you harm yourself.
Conflict In Relationships: Having a Healthy Dialogue
A relationship does not need to be divided as a result of conflict. If both parties are committed to one another and believe they are on a team – and operate as a team, both will grow with conflict. The reason so many couples are divided is that trust has been broken and they are in a two party household.
If only one partner is talking and requesting support but the other is not listening – stonewalling, or criticizing, being contemptuous or defending themself, the talker will feel bitter over time. They will feel emotionally exhausted. “I have tried explaining, but he/she doesn’t listen.” They might say. When they come into my office, the “listener” becomes very defensive, “yes I did.” I know they didn’t otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
Continue readingOur Soul’s Mate
Patience is a Virtue, but don’t sit around and wait, patiently for him to return.
Love, Sweet Passionate Love. An energy, not an emotion, words my professor spoke to me or us in class back in the late 90’s at Antioch University Santa Barbara. I had struggled until recently to begin to understand what this really might mean. We want to believe that love is based on emotions. This is what society tells us. That it is about sex, fulfilment, desires, needs being met, romance. And yet, every love story comes with a tale of how the two met. It is not a linear photograph. Remembering fondly, “When Harry Met Sally.” These two young adults met right in college; I believe they were driving somewhere together. Over the years, the two of them had a friendship, with husband/wife, break-ups, illness, and they still carried this bond, this fondness. It wasn’t until the very end of the movie that we see this, now older couple getting together, probably in their 30’s.
Continue readingWomen’s Rights Annihilated by Narcissistic Men and Feminists.
American life is in subtle ways so one-sided. The real natural man is just in open rebellion against the utterly inhuman form of life.
Carl Gustav Jung – a 1990 Documentary of an INterview (Psychology Library YouTube)
What has happened 103 years later, post 19th Amendment, that “some women,” the feminists, ironically are no longer fighting for women’s rights? Why are men suddenly determined to become women and take over our locker rooms, bathrooms, sports leagues and getting away with it? Why are there young children, taking the stand at PTA meetings, begging for support from the school board? Why are teachers turning against parents and sexualizing children across the country? Why are pediatricians not caring about ethics in favor of money from big pharmaceutical companies and the hospitals lavishing in this new cash cow – post pandemic favoritism (rhetorical yes)? Why is our own President, lavishing awards to men on International Women’s Day and promoting trans rights? And, why are we suddenly seeing children being brought to trans events – with a huge sensitivity now to pedophiles – and actors supporting this?
Continue readingConversations: A Way to Open Doors
Social media has forced society into new ways of living their lives. When I grew up, people stopped by to visit, we asked them to stay for coffee and dessert or even dinner. We were good hosts. We had conversations. Sometimes these turned into debates in a Hungarian household (and I assume any European one would be the same). It wasn’t fueled with hatred or venom, just trying to understand each other in a loud voice with arms swinging while they spoke. This was healthy because people were in discussion. The walk to the door started and ended with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now, instead of visiting each other and having conversations, we are stuck with posting, replies, ghosting and gaslighting. This has become normal that no one even bats an eye anymore when they hear about this. Offenders feel entitled to ghost or gaslight because they read an article about it. Anger has ensued as a result of this. Kids are committing suicide, people are being killed and its all in a day’s cycle of venting their hostility, their fears, their pain, their inability to have a conversation with someone.
Continue readingTemptation (1946 film) – The Trauma Bond Experience
Last night I went on Youtube to look for something interesting and different to watch. I had no idea I could actually watch an entire film without advertising, while not being a payer. I clicked on the link thinking it was a critic engaging in a discussion of the film and ended up watching this wonderful storyline.
The film stars Merle Oberon who was a British-Asian actress (her Asian heritage was a secret to the audience in that time period). This was my first time to see her in a movie other than Wuthering Heights. In Temptation, a woman named Ruby is looking to strengthen her financial picture, and goes after an Egyptologist, Nigel. She shares her secret ambitions with her doctor, assuming that he must keep this secret. She assumes he does. Her marriage takes her to Egypt, and she leads a very boring life until she meets Mahmoud Baroudi. This is when the trauma bond begins.
Face to Face: Carl Gustav Jung – My Thoughts
This is a really profound and historical interview with Carl Gustav Jung. It was conducted by a British interviewer in 1959, by the name of John Freeman. This interview took place in his home in Switzerland, which is on a lake. What is amazing is how good his English is and how prolific he could speak in this language. Even the accent is very lite. Some of the wonderful comments that caused awe and interest for me the most are noted below:
Continue readingWhat is a Woman – or Man?
Matt Walsh conducted a series of interviews for a documentary called What is a Woman? It has had me thinking about what my answer would be to this statement. I don’t think there is one answer other than naturally, it has to do with your biological make-up. No matter what mask you put on to try and be someone else, you are still the person you were when you were born. Dr. Maxwell Maltz (the late plastic surgeon) discusses this in more detail in his book “Psychocybernetics.”
Continue reading
Jeannine Vegh 