Tag Archives: sociopath

Virginia Roberts Giuffre – Nobody’s Girl

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People magazine

This book was probably the hardest and most challenging book for me to read. Not because of what she suffered, I was a social worker for 8 years and read hundreds of reports about child molest, dealt with clients who were trafficked, girls who were used as prostitutes on the street. It was the “Why” that kept nagging in the back of my head. Why was this incredibly, or seemingly strong woman having a book published posthumously? Why did she die by suicide? As a psychotherapist, I kept searching for answers throughout the book, and I walked away feeling as if I understood what they were.

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Virginia Roberts Giuffre Explains My Book, Posthumously

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Yesterday morning, 12/1/25, I published an ebook, seen above through Books2Read. Last night, while reading “Nobody’s Girl,” By Virginia Roberts Giuffre, I was caught off guard by a passage she wrote in her book on pages 113-114. I thought to myself, Wow! I wish I had known she wrote this amazing explanation, as it is better than mine. It explains what I am capturing in this title from a survivors perspective. Or, to put it more bluntly “From the horses mouth.” She loved horses, so I think she would appreciate this.

I want to include the passage here for your own discovery and so that you might consider reading her book – to learn more, as well as reading my book for the emotional support. I will come back here, when I am finished reading Nobody’s Girl as I want to pay tribute to this very well written book. For now:

It probably goes without saying that, given what my father and his friend Forrest had done to me when I was a child, being trafficked by Epstein and Maxwell was painfully triggering. To the extent that I saw the two of them as pseudo-parental figures, their disregard for my welfare as they lent me out for sex made me feel a familiar strain of worthlessness. But at times, that familiarity was weirdly comforting. This is complicated to explain, but that echo of past hurts was somehow bearable to me because I’d felt it-and somehow endured it-so many times before. It was like finding myself once more in a room I’d lived in for years. I hated that room, but I knew its contours-the shape of its windows, the nap of its carpet beneath my feet, the click of the door lock when it was thrown. I knew I could exist in that room because I’d existed there before. At that point, at least, this made me feel less afraid.

This is what I am trying to express in my title “The Uncomfortable Comfortableness with a Narcissist.” The familiarity was/is weirdly comforting and Virginia goes on to add how her visual and audio senses are enlisted by her hatred for this comfortableness. The shape of the windows, the nap of the carpet on her feet, the click of the door lock. She knew how to be in that place, as it was so familiar. Since it was so familiar, she wasn’t even as afraid.

In my book, I am helping you to discover the different parts of our self that are employed as our agency is taken away, while we are being lured into a relationship with the narcissist. Unsuspectingly – at first – yet somehow very comforting, very familiar, very Déjà vu. Once you are in, the uncomfortable knowledge that OMG! I am here again. Now what?

No worries, I am providing you with psycho-education to become more conscious of this process, along with six helpful homework assignments to begin re-discovering your sense of self. When you use these tools, along with a psychotherapist of your choosing, whom you can find to support you on this journey, these are the keys to moving forward in your life. To having a healthy relationship and never going back to the uncomfortable comfortableness ever again.

The Pathological Liar: The Spin Doctor – Learn From and Grow

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If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State. Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf

The pathological liar is a covert narcissist, an addict, a psychopath, a sociopath, a gaslighter, or you could say a spin doctor. No matter what you attribute it to, if you are listening to someone who is trying to make you believe something, that you know in your heart to be untrue, this person has prepared their case very well. You may love them, you may have given birth to them, they may be your parent or grandparent, nonetheless, you must trust your soul. Learn from this and grow.

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Narcissists, Players, Charlatans, Why do we believe them?

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Over forty years ago, hundreds of people went to their death in a country called Guyana. Back in 1978, I was a teenage girl in high school and two years later wrote my first paper on the topic of “Religious Cults” which would transform my life. On May of

FILE – This Jan. 1976 photo shows the Rev. Jim Jones, pastor of Peoples Temple in San Francisco. Dozens of Peoples Temple members in Guyana survived the mass suicides and murders of more than 900 because they had slipped out of Jonestown or happened to be away Nov. 18, 1978. Those raised in the temple or who joined as teens lost the only life they knew. (AP Photo/File)

2011, I published “The Child of the Narcissist,” on my blog post and began working with survivors of narcissism in my practice. There are different phases that I see. One is the denial phase which is when the person has not yet let the person go. Second, is the acceptance phase which is when they are in realization stage and feel angry, frustrated, duped, taken, had, and wonder “How could I have been so stupid?” Or the child of a narcissist will say “Can they be helped?,” or “Am I destined to become this way?” Thirdly, I see the healing stage when they begin to set boundaries and take back their power and their life. The third stage is a place that they will be in the rest of their life because you must always be conscious, mindful and awake when you meet someone that seems to have certain qualities.

The people of Jonestown are no different than a woman who meets up with some guy who is playing her. People who fall for a narcissistic type are vulnerable, desperate and yearn to be loved and accepted. These type of people (parents are a different category because you aren’t choosing them, though this could be argued from a metaphysical perspective), are very aware of their power over men and women. They have learned – from the cradle – that they are entitled in some way. This can be from a self-imposed entitlement to protect themselves (by self-soothing) or an entitlement given to them by a parent. I have known and learned of parents who say their child is perfect and will do whatever it takes to protect them. This takes away from a child learning when they make a mistake. It takes away from a child growing and evolving over time. A friend’s father was a criminal attorney in Los Angeles and he once told me that mother’s would take second mortgages out on their homes, sell their cars, jewelry, whatever assets they could give up to pay his fees and get their kids off. When I watched the movie “Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones,” I remember noting that he was engaged in animal cruelty as a boy.

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