Author Archives: Jeannine Vegh

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About Jeannine Vegh

I am a psychotherapist and author of both fiction and non-fiction.

Survivor Stories – What’s Love Got to Do With it?

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Tina Turner’s bio-movie in 1993, “What’s Love Got to Do With it,” starring Angela Bassett and Laurence Fishburne (as Ike Turner), was probably the first celebrity “coming out” about domestic violence. Tina, married Ike at a very young age of 23. She knew him for six years before this, though they were not a couple the whole time. At the time of their marriage, he had two sons, she had a son and they had a son together. Ike, turned out to be violently abusive, pushed drugs/alcohol on her and was a womanizer to boot. Tina actually tried to consider suicide at one point in the marriage. I think the movie really made people think about him as a person, but also made her a heroine.

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On the Mend – Foo Fighters

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One more day that I’ve survived
Another night alone
Pay no mind, I’m doing fine
I’m breathing on my own

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

Wake me when the hour arrives
Wake me with my name
See you somewhere down the line
We’re tethered once again

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

Was it you?
Sat alone
Here we go

Close your eyes and stay a while
To take me where you go
Single file we walk the mile
Who’s wandering back home

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

Was it you?
Sat alone

Here we go
Here we go
Here we go
Here we go

Written by: Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel, Chris Shiflett Album: In Your Honor Released: 2005

The first time I heard this song, I was in the middle of a trauma bond myself and felt very poorly. I felt that “on the mend,” spoke very much of a person who was trying to crawl out of a hole, and this could be from mental illness, sickness, grief, a normal break-up, or a trauma bond from a narcissist.

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Narcissism on the Spectrum – What is Normal?

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I love this image, though I would not say “normal narcissism,” I would say Ego. I don’t think we should use the same word to talk about being a healthy person. However, I think people need to see this and I am not as good with graphics.

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The Priority Male/Female in the Narcissistic Relationship

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Generally professionals are surprised when I teach them about the “priority” male or female in a narcissistic relationship. The priority is someone who takes precedence over the girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife. Not much is said about this relationship, but it is something I keyed in on after years of mentally tracking patterns I saw and then began writing about this.

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Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

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https://www.calculatingcharmer-psychologicalabuseawareness.com/the-cycle/

I like this “cycle,” as it is a good visual, though, like the cycle of violence (as in Domestic Violence), there are some things that might not happen or something different or worse than you would expect. For example: With domestic violence, not all batterers give “flowers” after the abuse. Some just don’t take responsibility or pretend it didn’t happen. And, with Narcissists, when you “call them out” in the transition phase of this photo above, they can become violent. The cycle is also a little different with an overt vs. a covert. I feel like the above is more a covert narcissist.

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PTSD Awareness Month

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Approximately 12 million people in the U.S. are living with PTSD, according to the most recent estimates from the Veterans Administration. While effective treatments exist, too many still aren’t getting the help they need and many individuals remain unaware or unsure about seeking care. 

This month, help us spread the word: PTSD is treatable, and recovery is possible .Whether someone is a veteran or a civilian affected by traumatic events, evidence-based therapies can make a real difference and can lead to a better quality of life.
(This above quote came from Star Behavioral Health a provider service and training center for psychotherapists who work with the military).
Photo taken from: https://www.northsegment.com/ptsd-awareness-month-the-rewarding-journey-of-healing-a-wounded-soul/

There are different types of treatment for PTSD. Some examples are Cognitive Processing Therapy, EMDR, and Prolonged Exposure. As a trained therapist in CPT for PTSD, I can personally attest to symptoms decreasing and clients having a better quality of life from this treatment. I actually log the scores, of all the cases I have worked with, on a spreadsheet and calculate the averages for each of the 12 sessions. For example: I currently show an average starting score, in session one as 54.8 and by session 12, the average final score is 13.35. The score needed to begin treatment is 30 for military and 35 for civilians on the PCL-5 (which is the test given for PTSD). In CPT, we give this test weekly to show evidence of symptoms.

What is important with any treatment is that you are ready to begin and committed to not backing out. Knowing it is going to a be a tough road ahead, but willing to do what it takes to heal from the trauma. If you have a desire to not live with this pain and not stay focused on medications solely, you can survive this – with treatment. Holistic treatment, or an alternative to medications.

Jules et Jim – 1962 François Truffaut

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Jules et Jim (et Catherine, et Albert). Notice who is in front and where everyone’s eyes are.

This movie is a story about to men in friendship with each other, pre-WWI. One is Austrian, the other French. They meet Catherine who is mentally unstable but a lot of fun to be around. There are a lot of female stereotypes that she does not conform too and because they are not therapists and in that time period didn’t know anything about personality disorders, they looked past her eccentricities. One will end up regretting this at the end of the film.

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Ego Vs. Intuition

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Ellen Seigel and I made this video in 2022 from the comfort of our homes. It is a topic that we both enjoy discussing and feel it is important to hear the difference, so that our audiences can differentiate and begin to grow from. I hope you will too. Below is a favorite quote from Carl Jung.

When you are ready, the right therapist will be able to take you to the other side. From darkness to light, from unhealthy to healthy, from pain to clarity.