Tag Archives: Survivor

Survivor Stories – Women who Married Narcissists and Yet they Prevailed

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Can you think of other famous women who prevailed, while or after being married to a Narcissist? It helps to remember, and helps us to stay strong and not give up hope.

Here I have shown you Catherine the Great. She was married to Pytor, a Russian Tsar, for a moment. The royal house conducted a coup d’état, and boom, he was gone. Catherine was Empress of Russia longer than any other monarch in that country.

Eleanor Roosevelt had a husband who embarrassed our country by sleeping with every woman he could get his hands on. While he was a great president in many respects, Eleanor is seen as being the first female president to some. She advised him, gave speeches, travelled the country, held press conferences with women journalists only. She survived by focusing on what she could do and could control, not by what she couldn’t.

Frida Kahlo is a famous Mexican painter, who was married to Diego Rivera, another famous Mexican painter (famous before marrying her). He slept with anyone and everyone, including her sister, before she could not take it anymore. And, before this, (and after) she focused on her art, staying strong despite her many miscarriages and terrible medical issues. She also had her own lovers. In the end, Frida is the one whom Mexicans have in their shop windows, whom they revere so much. Even Mexican restaurants in the U.S., you can find images of her, whereas you will see Diego in California doctor’s offices. She was quite an amazing woman.

And who can forget Princess Diana. A lovely woman, who learned on the day before her marriage that her husband to be was in love with another (who he is married to now). Yet, Princess Diana was more famous, more loved and will be while her husband is the King now and not many people care – except his loyal followers. She did more for the homeless, AIDS, raising awareness about land mines, and many other things. While she had a tragic death, which only made her more of a saint, her memory and contributions will live on. King Charles? Who cares. The world waits for her son and daughter-in-law to take his place. Right now, her ex is nothing more than a token object. A tradition, a bump on the log.

So, who can you think of? Don’t be shy. Comment below with your answer.

Survivors of Narcissist Workshop

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This is also mentioned on my “Survivors” page. If you haven’t had a chance to take this workshop and have been meaning to, no better day then the present! There are quite a few videos to watch, learn and grow from. You are welcome to ask me any question you like and I am happy to answer this. If you subscribe to this website, you will also get a coupon to take the course for $9.99! or go to their website now and watch the video that will give you an introduction to the course. You will be glad you did!

The Uncomfortable Comfortableness

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My ebook is finally here and I can’t wait for you to read it and provide a review to help others who are struggling with this topic. You can find the book at Books2Read through a variety of your favorite ebook publishers. Today is the first day, so if you don’t see your favorite publisher yet, it may be there tomorrow. Hoopla will take a couple of weeks so please be patient!

Uncomfortable Comfortableness is an easy read-in-one-day, with six wonderful homework assignments to keep you thinking. I have been working on this for many months at the same time preparing workshops on this very same topic. It finally occurred to me, I needed something quick and easy. A book that gets right to the point. Another therapist came up with a similar concept – quick and easy for couples. I told her to publish it and then I thought – why don’t I do this for survivors? Well, here it is, just in time for Christmas/Hannukah/Winter Solstice or whatever holiday you might celebrate at this time of the year.

Thank you for shopping and again, leave a review if you don’t mind, so others might consider picking up a copy for themselves.

Survivor Stories – Human Trafficking

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Virginia Giuffre

There are many survivors of the Jeffrey Epstein/Ghislaine Maxwell human trafficking scandal. While we only hear about the women, I have seen a photo online of him standing with a group of boys. I imagine that they are having a harder time coming forward, as male sexual abuse survivors often do. Virginia Giuffre appears to be the most outspoken, female survivor, with her book “Nobody’s Girl.” What is sad is two things, one that she felt so alone and depressed that she died by suicide. Secondly, that one of the other victim’s a Korean woman by the name of Rina Oh and she were in pursuit of justice in different ways and at odds with each other at the same time.

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Radical Acceptance – A Way Forward

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This is an amazing video, listening to the renowned therapist, Marsha Linehan speak on Radical Acceptance. I am reminded of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s quote “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Think about being in a relationship with a narcissist. You can’t change them. If you focus on accepting this, you can begin to heal from the trauma you are suffering from. For example: In a courtroom, don’t be surprised at his/her actions. If you radically accept he/she will not change, you can think more clearly about how you respond to the situation. In a home environment, to survive the moment if you are planning to stay, realize who this person is, accept who they are and look at how you can live YOUR life as a result. How can you cope in this environment? In other words, how can you take care of your mind, body, spirit, knowing that this person is not going to join you, accept your thinking, or agree with you?

Who is Telling the Truth? – The Narcissist Always Wins

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As a psychotherapist, I am dumbfounded by the stories I always hear in my room. It is the family law stories that get me every time. The client, no matter whether it is male or female, the survivor of the narcissist, is always the one who loses when there is a narcissistic spouse involved. Here in Ohio, it is a “woman’s only state,” but I can tell you this is NOT true when there is a narcissist. I’d like to even say only with children, but I have had women who had money (not lots, but more then him) who have had to fight him trying to take their money, when they were only married a few years. I have had men who were up against a woman (with no children together) and had to fight her lies and manipulation in court – not for money – but for power. Why is it that nothing is being done about this? Why is it the court’s always believe them? Why are they not trying to create change, or to have a conscience?

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Parental Narcissism

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Me and my pal in the hat, Middle School

Growing up with a narcissistic parent, you make do. You try to follow the rules, deal with the lack of boundaries, cry a lot – even though your told not to, become a scapegoat when you are the oldest (often but not always), get yelled at, compared to, and told things like “Why can’t you be more like…” When I looked back at my “diary” in a little pink book from this middle school time period, I never said a word about physical abuse or emotional abuse and certainly nothing about narcissism. How did I know? I complained about not being allowed to do something or what a day I had had or whether I was going to my friends house to hang out. You would never know from the outside looking in and you would not know from the inside looking out. You are a kid with no psychological training.

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When is it NOT Narcissism?

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Unless you are licensed in the psychology profession and have some training or knowledge in the field of personality disorders, and you have had personal or professional contact with this person, it is not narcissism, it is purely speculation.

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