Society uses this term too lightly and it is important to understand the difference. Naturally you should never use this term toward someone, especially since you are not a psychology professional and even when you are. We want to, but it will only work against us. It feels like they need to know, but it is better to focus on taking care of yourself rather than trying to change them.
Manipulation leads to gaslighting or is a part of gaslighting. However, manipulation can stand alone and can be defensiveness – someone doesn’t want to take responsibility. It does not have to end up in a gaslighting scenario. With both, someone may start out focused on your reaction but they can also spin it into causing you to question your sanity. Did this really happen? Two scenarios:
Manipulation – Guy: Oh, so it sounds like you have a lot of grievances. Gal: Yes, I do in fact I have some issues to discuss with you and I wish you would listen. Guy: I don’t like the tone of your voice. You are very manipulative. (When this happens, the person is turning the scenario around and blaming the communicator so that she will not try to hold him accountable. It can confuse a person).
Gaslighting: Let’s look at a clip from the movie. Watch how Gregory suddenly turns the tables when Paula brings up a letter he (visually) does not seem to remember. He has Paula questioning her sanity, bringing into play her own mother’s history. He doubles down at the end by saying, this is why he doesn’t want to take her into public. Back then, not being sociable in public, for a wealthy woman, would give rise to scandal and gossip. The woman’s whole life depended on being social and attending galas, the theater and the opera. It would be horrible for a woman of her class. She would be looked down on.
When I typed in this term on Duck Duck Go, the Search Assist told me this: “Flying monkeys refer to individuals who enable or assist a narcissist in their manipulative behaviors, often without realizing the harm they are causing. They may spread gossip, act as spies, or defend the narcissist, typically due to manipulation or a desire to please.” What I had already seen as a pattern in narcissistic relationships was a person that I termed “The Priority Female,” and now realize there are Priority Male’s as well. What does this look like?
Continue readingThe female (and male that we have not read about) survivors of the Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell human trafficking scandal want justice. Yet, recently on Linkedin, Nicole Huff, LCSW, posted a list of appropriate terms that should be used in court, instead of the terms perceived to be used shown below. The terms in italics are presumably what will be seen in court and in the media and what is next to these terms are the appropriate terms.
Many people from my generation saw “Last Tango in Paris,” a 1972 French American collaboration with Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando. It was considered pornographic by some, those who were not used to art films and so it was very controversial and critically discussed. Until watching the new French/Italian/American collaboration film “Being Maria” this past weekend (2025), starring Anamaria Vartolomei, I had no idea what she dealt with as an actress.
Continue reading
As a psychotherapist, I am dumbfounded by the stories I always hear in my room. It is the family law stories that get me every time. The client, no matter whether it is male or female, the survivor of the narcissist, is always the one who loses when there is a narcissistic spouse involved. Here in Ohio, it is a “woman’s only state,” but I can tell you this is NOT true when there is a narcissist. I’d like to even say only with children, but I have had women who had money (not lots, but more then him) who have had to fight him trying to take their money, when they were only married a few years. I have had men who were up against a woman (with no children together) and had to fight her lies and manipulation in court – not for money – but for power. Why is it that nothing is being done about this? Why is it the court’s always believe them? Why are they not trying to create change, or to have a conscience?
Continue reading
Recently, my client began to become aware of her mother and father both being what she would presume to be a narcissist. I had know they were showing symptoms of this all along, but she wasn’t ready yet and I am not going to push someone. The awareness was like “coming out of the closet,” excitement/honeymoon stage of “Aha, I finally have some answers.” Now, we are at the “Now what stage” and not feeling so excited. “How do I hang out with them? I like some things about them and don’t want to abandon them but at the same time, how do I deal with this” (paraphrased). This is the question I am asked so often. And, now I will give you some thoughts on this.
Continue reading
The secondary title of this Irish film set in 1974 which is meant to be about Irish history should be “There is an African in the Pub.” He has absolutely NO relevance whatsoever to this film, which I am calling a pseudo historical fiction. Yet, the filmmakers had to stick him in and had to have Liam Neeson’s character Finbar, babysit him throughout, because it is important to them to bypass the real reason we are watching this film – to focus on a part of Irish history.
Continue readingEssays on Politics and Life in Our America
Mental Health & Wellness
Clinical and Forensic Psychology, LLC
Discerning Gal
A Frequent Blog of Devotionals Inspired by A Course in Miracles, A Course of Love, The Way of Mastery, Choose Only Love--Plus More . . . with Celia Hales - https://www.amazon.com/author/celiahales
Freelance Novelist, Editor, Writer, and Journalist
Reading Into Our Past...
Ohio's best and biggest city
My Family Stories
Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.
"Trail Magic" DVD now available
Poetry * Mythology * Podcast
Sometimes I'm just itching to write!
Jeannine Vegh 