Tag Archives: Society

Outing Celebs who are Dead, is Vulgar and Irresponsible

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Liberace was a “flaming fag,” as we used to say in the 80’s. He wasn’t married to a woman, he didn’t try to hide being gay by the way he dressed or acted on stage or in real life. While he didn’t come right out and say “I am gay,” or in his day – a homosexual because saying gay would mean he was giddy or happy, it is safe to say that he wouldn’t be upset that we all know he was gay. Likewise, we could safely say this about Oscar Wilde or Lord Byron and countless others who didn’t take great pains to make sure we didn’t know.

On the other hand, focusing on Cary Grant’s love life or Katherine Hepburn’s or Spencer Tracy’s or even Eleanor Roosevelt’s is inexcusable. It is disrespectful of their families, their husbands and wives, of their name and of their legendary status. If something is not written in their will or if they have taken great pains to hide their love life; than it is none of our business. Yet magazines and their sensationalist journalists take great pains to “expose” them as if they have abused children or animals and need to have their life paraded around the town square for the entire world to see and know.

Life was different in their time period. People had class and very high expectations of themselves and others. Men and women dressed elegantly and went out to dinner with gloves on and hats. They wore fur stoles or full length coats or capes that were left in a cloak room with a “hat check girl.” They drew nicotine from long stems and cocked their heads back when they let out the smoke in a very graceful way. They ate lavish meals and watched performances, which included full orchestras with singers and maybe dancers as well. When they left, they went onto parties or home or somewhere else. The story ended there.

Recently, Scotty Bowers a celebrity pimp at 94 years old, has decided he needs to ruin the reputations of some really wonderful people that we all grew to love and adore. These were people whom we romanticized and fantasized about when we thought of their relationships, or their movies, or their place in office. The meaning of legendary is someone that no one can replace. It is someone who was unique, a valuable contribution to the world, stellar, intelligent, and larger than life.

When they are then exploited for being gay behind closed doors, you are taking away that legendary status by turning them into a common person. You are saying that they had flaws like the rest of us. That beneath that smile was nothing but lies. You are taking away the image we have of them and turning them into nothing more than a Jimmy Saville. And for what purpose? Why do we need to know who was gay and who wasn’t gay? Who does this help? Do we need to meet a quota in today’s society to validate ourselves in the lifestyle we are now living?

“Women He’s Undressed,” sounds demeaning just hearing the title. As I watched this documentary about an Australian designer by the name of Orry-Kelly, I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable as he began to rat out Archie Leach’s lifestyle and then tell us that Cary Grant took great pains to shut him up before he died. Naturally, it is hard to have any respect for Orry-Kelly; as a result of watching this. I began to understand why Cary walked away from him because he was a spineless prick; like most people in the fashion industry. Always out to stab people in the back and then curtsy, while blushing on their way out the door. It’s supposed to be seen as charming and yet it made me want to vomit; which is why I got out.

As I am in the psychology world now, I am equally insulted by fools who focus on the fact that Freud was a cocaine addict or that Jung screwed his clients. None of this was taboo in their time period because they were the fathers of psychology and had not yet determined ethics and laws that are relevant today. Doctors handed out cocaine, heroin, and many other substances that are considered illegal today but weren’t then. It is because therapists or psychoanalysts did what they did that we now know better. But to focus on their behaviors that were inconsequential in their day, takes away from the valuable contributions that they made to psychology.

When I watch an old film, I don’t want to think about the fact that he or she was a dyke or a fag. I want to think about their wit, their je ne sais quois. Yet when someone puts something into my mouth, I can’t get rid of the taste of it. The memory is stuck. When we see these people on screen, it is important to leave them with their clothes on. We want to keep their voice resonating in our head. We want to recall their walk across the room. We want to envy their wives/husbands, children and imagine what it must have been like to be in the room with them.

If these people were alive today, more than likely they would sue the rags that printed them just as Tom Cruise used to do with National Enquirer. Now all magazines and newspapers, the Internet as a whole, seem focused on becoming trashy, smutty, tell-alls who have nothing better to do with their life than to ruin others. When you do this to a dead man, you are essentially spitting on their grave and that of their kin. Allow these people to rest. Allude to their behind the scenes arrangements but really and truly, if they aren’t Jimmy Saville, let it rest. Keep them a legend, a mystery, a well-loved hero/heroine.

#METOO feels Self-Serving to Me

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Back in the mid-80’s, I lived and worked in LA and was trying to get into modeling. I was not naïve to the “casting couch” as I had read the non-fiction “Hollywood Babylon” (published in 1959) as a teenager and knew this was a dirty world. My last time to try and make a go of it was with an agency looking for older models (I was 26-ish by then). They were off of Laurel Canyon and Ventura Blvd. It was in a building across from the famous newsstand which may or may not exist anymore (do people still buy trade magazines and newspapers?). The guy who ran this agency worked with his wife, a beautiful Swedish/Norwegian looking blonde lady who was very pregnant with their first child. He took me and another younger woman to Malibu and we spent the day doing photos for our portfolios. We were in bathing suits and had to endure two Mexican men ogling us from over the side of a cliff we were under. We also had to endure this man/photographer telling us about his days with Playgirl magazine (when he was a model) and the size of his male part and how great he was.

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Abhorrent – the new # in Holywood

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Holier than thou Hollywood continues to gain power over our society with their extreme left thinking to over compensate for their anger at the right. Hypocritically speaking out about tolerance and freedom of speech and then firing someone for just that. It is okay for Samantha Bee to disrespect a president’s daughter and call her a F-cking C-nt and for Kathy Griffin to want to decapitate a world leader, or for Joy Behar to trash Christians. All “comedians” but when a well-known, controversial, funny woman Roseanne Barr says something she is fired from her own TV show. Let’s look back at a couple of her more interesting quotes:

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Politically Correct Debate for Modern Thinkers

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This is quite a fascinating debate series founded by Hungarian born Paul Munk in 2008 out of Toronto, Canada. Interestingly, I learned about this through a client recently. I find that I get many good resources from the people I serve almost as if it were providence. They did make me aware of who won the debate before I saw it, though it wasn’t that hard to figure out as it was quite obvious which side were more gifted in speech and somatic comfort. What is troubling, as always, are Americans abroad. They are just incapable of realizing it isn’t all about them.

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Un Village Français

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A French Village is set in German occupied France, World War II. We are being shown local townspeople being forced to make choices to survive. It is romantic, because there is always love when you are in a traumatic situation. It is not biased and so you see bad Germans and bad French. What is amazing is that the most important thing that you see is people at war. As you watch it, you have to try not to view this from the lens of an educated person who obviously knows what happened during WWII. You must try to behave as ignorantly as the characters are to have an ability to appreciate their choices and empathize with them. Some people you don’t empathize with such as the character Heinrich Müller, who enjoys putting cigarettes out on people. Including the one he loved.

Heinrich and Hortense

Today, I watched the first episode of the third season and was struck by the fact that I felt as I did when I worked in the county government for eight years. In this episode the head of the local government, the prefect (I believe he is called or deputy prefect) is handed a list of Jewish names to round up in the neighborhood. Up until this time, the city of Villenueve was protected and the Jewish people could more or less feel their lives were somewhat safe, although they were unable to run their businesses. In this tiny town, they assumed that the Prime Minister Phillipe Pétain, had the power to protect French Jews from being deported. In this episode we learn that this has now changed. When I worked for the county government our mindset was “What was in the best interests of the children,” until the recession hit. Then it was all about saving money and putting them in the cheapest places. I fought this and all the other changes that were going on until I was put on Administrative Leave for a year and then I finally quit. I quit because their evidence was lies or fabricated stories and I knew I would be fired if I stuck around.  I couldn’t believe that a huge agency like that would be so concerned about me (there were lots of people involved). So while, my personal situation with the government is a far cry from making decisions during World War II, I like putting things into perspective with the here and now.

Marcel Larcher, a communist

When you think of a soldier at war, doing what he or she is told to do, they really don’t have any choices of whether or not they like it. When the “team” loses, suddenly we turn on them, and everyone is punished; whether they really had a choice or not. This is something I keep thinking about as I watch this show. While the character may seem bad, you can recognize a corporate boss; eager to get a promotion. You can see a “company man” who does what he is told. When you are working for corporate America or government, this is how most people behave. Most employees don’t sit down and weigh the consequences of what their boss tells them or how it is going to affect people, business, employees, or the community at large. You just do it because that is what you are told. At the end of the day, you go home to your families and try to forget about what you heard.  I didn’t have a family to go home to, so I went home and thought about my day a little more. That was my problem, I thought too much!

As I have seen a trailer for the seventh and last season, I am aware of the fact that many of these people will be blamed for the choices that they made. Every episode has been and is going to be sad and tragic but that one will be the hardest to endure. The reason is that these characters who have lasted till the seventh season, their lives will have been disrupted to the point of forgetting who they are. Already we are seeing choices that are being made to help a Jewish maid, or a lover, or a business associate who is collaborating to stay alive. They aren’t trying to help a vast number of people though at times they try to get the list, for example, from 20 down to 10.

Daniel Larcher, The Mayor

It is really too bad that most Americans, especially liberals won’t see this TV show. As far as I am aware, the only way you can see it now is if you have MHz Choice which is an international channel you have to pay for and have to know it even exists. I was aware of MHz from PBS when they pretended to collect International Mysteries from around the world. After doing some digging I realized the guy on PBS was lying; all they did was purchase a channel. They had me going though for a while there. American liberals love to blame people and do it so loud that you feel nauseous having to listen to it day after day after day. I feel that most of the time it is very hypocritical and seems to lack in values. I am on the border of the left and right and can never seem to sit on one side.

Jeannine Schwartz

We are in an era now where people are being blamed who had ancestors in the Civil War. They want to take down a statue of a soldier in the South, General Robert E. Lee. He was a man who did his job and because he came from the south, chose this side so he wouldn’t be killing his own family. He was a soldier being asked to lead a team, a side of government. If the south had won, we would want to tear down a statue of General Ulysses S. Grant. I don’t see a need to tear down any statue because I am fond of history. General Lee wasn’t responsible for slavery as Adolph Hitler was responsible for the holocaust. It is apples and oranges; but here in America we are not reasonable people. We allow ignorance to prevail because we feel sorry for them (those in this mindset).

A French Village could teach Americans quite a great deal about having to make choices in a time of war.

Raymond Schwartz

Whether or not they would be able to focus on such a great historical show without finding it racist, I could not say.  The show even shows a shady Jewish character, could Americans handle this? This seems to be the new wave of lying to our children. We educate them with period pieces that have politically correct storylines rather than literal or factual storylines. If North and South, probably one of the last great American TV historical fictions made, were filmed today; it would be such a joke. No doubt they would not be able to create an honest re-make. The actors would complain that they could not do the show because they could not speak the historically accurate lines (which would mean they are terrible actors).

I cannot imagine how tense it must have been to be on the set of A French Village. These actors do not ever come out of character, so that we are able to feel as if we are there; with them. I feel transported into another time and place. I feel tense every moment, wondering what will happen to this person or that. So tense that I had to look it all up online to see who will live and who will die. I just couldn’t keep watching without this sense of relief because it is traumatizing to watch this TV show. I do know what happened and while I try to think like the character, I am not perfect. When you feel like these characters are real people and they actually existed, you know you are hooked and drawn in.

If you have read “The Nightingale,” by Kristin Hannah, published in 2015, you will no doubt appreciate A French Village. I had read it last summer and so it was fresh in my mind. Two completely different stories as Ms. Hannah’s book was a little more biased. I feel it is important that A French Village created a lack of bias so that you can wonder. So that you could have a discussion after watching the show and think a little more deeply about those times.

I grew up with a step-father who took political asylum in the United States in 1956. When I wrote a historical fiction about that time period, it was while I was on leave from the government. It was actually perfect timing to have a sense of communist Hungary. I remember a family member telling me that I was actually on house arrest from my job. At the time, I had no idea why I was being paid to stay at home and do nothing. My father raised me to fear Russians and communists. He told us all kinds of horrible stories. I tried not to be completely biased while writing because I knew some of that was his hatred of people who ruined his life and his family’s lives. As I did research, as most historians due, you read the facts and put together your own interpretation of what you see. This is blended together with the biased interpretations of the people who witnessed. I don’t say biased in a bad way either. No one can ever really know the whole story. A French Village seems to be saying this. They are showing you a broader perspective, 75 years later.

Women of Exceptional Taste

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Women of exceptional taste in todays society are multi-faceted. They are sophisticated, successful in a career, have good taste in clothing, don’t use plastic surgery (if over 40), are involved in various philanthropic efforts and are admired by women around the world. Some of these women speak more than one language a commendable trait.  Many of them have children or grandchildren as well and this is an aside. What is remarkable about our generation is that these type of women can now choose not to have children or wait until they are ready to have children.

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For Women Over 40

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This is the age of the Crone. The older, wiser woman begins to emerge around the age of forty. Own up to this and enjoy the best part of your life! This is what I want to say here but it is going to sound a bit confusing when I now turn the conversation over to talking about your body. The aging process brings a whole new set of obstacles to face. This is the time in your life when you no longer look the same as your body begins to let loose and an end to the cycle as a tight and firm young woman is over.  It is a time when all those crazy symptoms of menopause start showing up as you are transitioning through this final stage of womanhood. Some women have stated that their mood swings can go from being a saint to a demon in the span of a day. This does end eventually though and it shouldn’t define you. Instead, this time period should force you to realize how important it is to set boundaries, if you don’t already.  At the same time, women report feeling much more confident at this stage in their life.  There is less of concern about how others think of you. Think of this as a time to have fun, despite the new health problems that are beginning to emerge and the changes in your body.

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The Language of Fashion

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If French is the language of fashion then we are speaking in Ebonics right now. Anna Wintour showed us just how pathetic we have become by putting Kim Kardashian and Kanye West on the cover of the American version of Vogue in April 2014. Two people who have a lack of respect for themselves and the people around them. One makes a name for herself on a reality show and the other for his ruthless behaviors toward Taylor Swift. Neither have any sense of decency nor does our society for allowing this to happen. Women in the workplace are dressed like Rosie the Riveter rather than executive material and technically speaking Rosie dressed much nicer. We have come a long way since Chanel and Dior but instead of being on a continued climb, we are on a downward spiral. Fashion designers boast the newest trends in holey blue jeans that even a farmer would never dare to wear. Boys on the streets pull their pants down and their hats backwards. Schools and offices have given up on dress codes and have given way to selling out to slang rather than teaching work ethics. Corporations have outsourced our jobs to China and India and every other third world country and we have lost any sense of customer service or respect for the consumer in general. Department stores have become dinosaurs as we are forced to shell out online for clothing that often does not fit, isn’t the right color, style, and then we must go out of our way to return it through a subcontractor rather than a store with a nice smiling employee to take down our concerns.

Aidez-moi!!! What does one do? Mostly, it appears we give up and give in. We adopt the motto “It is what it is,” which is no more capitalistic in thought than a collective farm in Russia. What happened to elegance? Stanley Marcus tells us that it died in his first memoir “Quest for the Best.” If he could see his store now partnering with Target, as they did in 2013; no doubt he’d be rolling in his grave. My sense is that the final chapter of elegant society died at the close of WWI. Watch any period piece surrounding this era and you will see what I am talking about.

So where does one shop if they are clearly not interested in following these trends but remembering the values taught to them by their grandmothers, aunts and mothers? I find this to be a struggle and I hope that those of you who follow this blog have some insight on where to go. This website is for classic minded women who hope to reclaim fashion as it really has nowhere to go.  If we are in the depths of despair, it is time to throw down a rope so we courageous ladies can start climbing. I am not a designer, just a writer, so I have no ability to reshape this industry in any way other than my thoughts. I hope to find more of you out there who are hiding behind your fresh pressed suit at your place of business or the belle of the ball because you are the only one who knew how to dress for the occasion. Only the bride seems to be interested in a traditional dress for a wedding but we know she is not a virgin. The guests now show up like its casual Friday, yet thousands of dollars are spent on an overrated party because the couple is likely going to divorce within a few years.

Class cannot be bought or sold. You either have this or you don’t. Once we had a time where people knew their place in society and this was dependent on their economic standing. I don’t think this was wrong, I think it makes sense that people of wealth shop and eat in one place and people of middle classes at their place and lower incomes at their places. It meant that you couldn’t walk into doors unless you were dressed a certain way. I don’t think the attitudes of the day were correct because people were left out for religion and race as well but the overall rules made sense. It gave you something to strive for in life or it helped you to be comfortable with where you are at. Now you see people in nice restaurants who are dressed in jeans and flip flops and this ruins the ambiance. If I have gotten to a place in my life where I can afford certain things, I don’t want to feel like I have made all this money just so I can see the same thing I will see if I walk down the streets of the inner city.

Likewise, I enjoy luxury. This means I do not prefer to wear faux anything. It is nice that some people have beliefs of advocating for the rights of this and that, but this is not what I am taking a stand for. I don’t think it is right that other people’s rights should be enforced upon me anymore than being told I should vote for X, Y or Z. A democracy means that we each have a right to our opinion. Communism is group think and I don’t aspire to being like everyone else. Naturally I would prefer that furriers have a more ethical approach to preparing a coat but I don’t want to wear polyester. Leather is much healthier for the feet than polyurethane as it allows for your skin to breathe.  I certainly would rather wear a diamond that wasn’t mined by slaves but I won’t be wearing cubic zirconia. I eat chocolate not carob. I drink Dom Perignon when the time is right and this has happened about twice in my life. I would rather be caught dead than enter a franchise for gastronomic delights. Good food comes from the energy of the cook and from a person who is passionate about his or her menu and recipes. Therefore, I would prefer not to enter the universe looking as if I have no self-respect. I would prefer not to be the best dressed person in the room but in competition with other women of considerable taste. Sadly, it is a rare day when I actually like what someone else is wearing.

In fact, I have loved fashion since I was a young girl. Even going to church was a parade of costumes worn by the ladies and the most special time was around the holidays. Once I begged my parents to stop the car so I could find out where a lady had purchased her shoes – they didn’t. I adored weddings as this was a time to wear a formal and special dress shoes. When I met my first fashion buyer, I was in love with the career on the spot. The idea that she got to travel and purchase clothing for the store was the most amazing concept to me. Heading off to FIDM was a dream come true. But then the bubble began to burst. I saw the type of personalities in fashion that I was not accustomed to back home. They did not respect work ethics but friendships and secret passwords and handshakes it would seem. After leaving the industry and choosing an alternative career, I began to notice with the advent of computers was the decline in moral standards. With a decaying of our society will naturally result in a lack of interest in what we wear. I once told a friend, after watching the Calvin Klein commercial in the 80’s that being naked will be our fashion statement one day. He thought I was nuts. Like the decline in the U.S. Vogue magazine in 2014, the next year news headlines for the Hollywood Report would say “Met Gala 2015: Who Was the Most Naked on the Carpet?”

S’il Vous Plait, throw some of us women a rope! For those of us who care enough about the future of our society and want to bring fashion back to a place of respect. Who are tired of seeing young women in 6” heels and mini-skirts without panties; only to find them pregnant without a man in the near future.  If these were “working women” of the streets one could understand but we are talking about girls who are giving up their chance at college and a career for a boy whose name they can’t remember from a party where they aren’t sure how they got home.

Ladies, I have sounded the alarm. Stand behind me and lets prepare to shift the fashion realm of consciousness and find a psychic to help us channel in Gabrielle and Christian and Jean and Elsa or whomever your favorite designer was of yesteryear.