Crying Doesn’t Fix the Pain – But it Helps in the Healing Process

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Leo Tolstoy – Anna Karenina

As a Child of a Narcissist, when you cry it doesn’t fix the pain – they don’t get better. You are still trapped in a home with two parents who are emotionally immature, damaged, wounded and are so detached from their own pain and have no self-awareness. Without self-awareness, from a parent, you are stuck with them. As Is. I cried growing up, all the time. I cried because I felt unloved, unwanted, that no one would listen to me. I felt like a robot living my mom’s life, behaving like my dad wanted. I didn’t know who I was. After I met the guy who would later become my husband and faced his abuse and detachment, I began to cut. This was before it was a “trend” something you read about on social media. I didn’t even know this was a “thing.” I just scratched and scratched until blood came out. I wore long sleeves so no one would see what I was doing. Meanwhile, if I cried, I would hear “Why are you crying? You have no reason to cry” from my mom. Or my dad, when punishing us would say “If you cry, I will whip you more. Toughen up.” They saw my arms and said, “What did you do to yourself?” I can’t recall the excuse I made up. Maybe they said I was crazy.

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Genital Mutilation is not Acceptable Whether it be in Africa or America: Free our Children from Abusive Teachers, Doctors and Therapists

ncdsv.org

When I first learned about female genital mutilation, it was sometime in the 90’s. I went to an art installation. I later read about it through Planned Parenthood’s international newsletter. I saw terrible photos of little girls in kitchens with a person wielding some sort of machete, I think it was. Those images disturbed me to no end. Children should have rights. The rights of their parents to protect and safeguard their well-being. They should be listened to and respected, but the parents should be the adults, who teach right from wrong. Parents should be teaching values, educating the child, providing them with their basic needs.

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