This Czech-Polish (2022 – Kanopy) movie could be seen as a modern day love relationship and it is billed as an erotic-drama. But, since it is so important to me that we watch movies consciously – and I use films for homework with my clients – so that we are more self-aware and do not go into a romantic delusion that this is healthy and fun. It is not. The director is very clear of this throughout the film showing us somatically that Petyr is not enjoying this and is being manipulated by his girlfriend Hanka. Here is my fantasy session with Petyr after he comes to see me at the end of the film.

Petyr – At first, I felt that I wanted to make her happy. Well, you know, I want a monogamous relationship. I thought everyone would want this. I want us to have children and I told her this. At first, it just seemed like a game and I would play along. She flirted at the restaurant and I liked it, but I tell you, I hated it at the same time. I didn’t want this. Then she picked up the phone and just gave him our address. I didn’t know what to do. He came over and took a shower and then he left. I lucked out. Then we went to our friends house, I really don’t like either one of them but we are in the business together, so I went. Immediately, the wife comes on to me and then her husband took his turn with Hanka. I felt numb. I don’t know why I didn’t push his wife away but I just sat there dumbly, like a fool and kept playing along. I had no feelings for the woman but I had sex with her and Hanka had sex with him. Then, she just kept wanting to do this. I kept going along but I tell you, I was losing myself over and over and feeling foolish, but I didn’t say a word. I just kept letting her have her fun. At one point, Hanka was considering a polyamourous household – six of us. This was it for me. I couldn’t take it. I left and almost went home…but something came over me. I went back. I don’t know why. She had sex with the owner of the house while the other three just had some amusement with my folly. The joke was on me. Why didn’t I leave right then? Why didn’t I just walk away? What is wrong with me? Am I crazy?

Then I met this bartender. She was kind and sweet. She pretended to lose her phone so she could put her number in my phone. I got drunk one night and she came to my rescue. We talked for hours. I was beginning to feel like my old self again. I was ready to leave Hanka and go to her. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Then, I went home and told Hanka it was off. I couldn’t be with her sexually as it was all I could do to not see men fucking her over and over again. I couldn’t not see it. I couldn’t black it out. She blamed me for not saying anything, for not standing up for her. I felt like a heel. She was right, I should have done this, it was my fault. I am a man, I should have been stronger, but I wasn’t. So, I stayed with her. I know she will cheat on me again, I don’t know what I can do. I feel like I am betrayed but I did it too. I went along with it, so I stayed with her, even though I really don’t want to. I am lost. I don’t even know who I am as a man anymore.

Above is the best way I can describe this film to you, from my perspective. In the end, Hanka had a smile on her face, Petyr was looking off into the distance, with his head on hers. She looked as if she got away with something and there is no doubt that she will do this again. He enabled her, he was passive aggressive, she gaslighted him because he did try to pull back many times – in his own way, and he even said no about the house of four becoming six. This film is showing how it begins for a male to be sexually manipulated by a female. If this were real life, he would continue to spiral down (unless he saw a therapist of course) and would be manipulated in other ways by Hanka. She won, she saw what she could get away with and she will continue.