Yes, there are male survivors of narcissistic women and I am beginning to see them come to my office more and more these days. While the DSM -5 states that 50-75% of narcissists are men, that leaves those 25-50% who are women. And, think of the books written to address daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – they had to have fathers too.

I am currently conducting my own personal research study, asking questions to men and women about narcissists that they have been in contact with. If you would like to be a part of this study, please email me at transformpsych @ outlook.com (spaces are in the email to prevent spam, not because there is a space) and I will send you the Word document which you can fill out and email back to me. All of the questions are relevant, so please don’t skip one, or email me if you are unsure about something. You can also download a copy on jkvegh.com

In this research and with my clients I am beginning to learn that the two biggest issues that face male survivors are Emotional and Financial Abuse from women. The second thing I am learning is that male survivors tend to heal faster than female survivors. I think this has something to do with what I read a long time ago on the womensinfidelity.com website. This being that men have affairs for physical reasons and women for emotional. Thus, if a woman has been emotionally injured, she is going to be more long suffering. If a male is in the situation for physical reasons, he is not into the woman for the same reasons. Women also have a lot of expectations about marriage, children, future, and still financial equality and stability. Males can pick up and move on. They are not weighed down by these issues. Men are not as concerned about marriage as women are. (not a judgement, just a reality).

It is interesting though that men who are highly sensitive people and have endured the marriage/relationship, to a narcissist, much longer (vs. a short term affair or a short relationship) do need more support in the healing process. It has weakened their stamina, has destroyed their ability to be a man, has injured their ego and pride and they have essentially fallen apart emotionally. With these men I am finding that they need a little more support, especially if they are still in the relationship. You are working with a victim, struggling to determine whether they should stay or go.

I don’t think male survivors are given much publicity as they are generally not going to come online and brag about being a survivor anymore than they would about being physically or even sexually abused by a woman. Society doesn’t have much empathy for these men. There isn’t much research out there on the topic of survivors of narcissism in general. It is overshadowed by the need to focus more on the perpetrator. The irony!