I like this “cycle,” as it is a good visual, though, like the cycle of violence (as in Domestic Violence), there are some things that might not happen or something different or worse than you would expect. For example: With domestic violence, not all batterers give “flowers” after the abuse. Some just don’t take responsibility or pretend it didn’t happen. And, with Narcissists, when you “call them out” in the transition phase of this photo above, they can become violent. The cycle is also a little different with an overt vs. a covert. I feel like the above is more a covert narcissist.

Overts can become lazy, especially when they are married. They take the marriage for granted, don’t feel a need to do anything. You can “call them out” all you want but they may just ignore you or walk away. You can set boundaries but they will not respect them. Eventually the person feels they might as well just except as is (especially if there are children) or divorce.

Nothing is ever black/white. The patterns are always there, one way or another but they may feel or look different in some ways. The DSM V shows symptoms that make no sense to the average person – why you shouldn’t look at them. When I explain what they mean to people, with my own laymen’s terms, they get it and can explain to me what their Narcissist type does.