In the dark, I’d like to read his mind
But I’m frightened of the things I might find

Oh, there must be something he’s thinking of
To tear him away, a-ay

When I tell him that I’m falling in love
What does he say? A-ay

Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Ah-ah

I try so hard not to get upset
Because I know all the trouble I’ll get

Oh, he tells me tears are something to hide
And something to fear, eh-eh
And I try so hard to keep it inside
So no one can hear

Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Ah-ah

Oh!
He wants me, but only part of the time
He wants me, if he can keep me in line

Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Oh, oh, oh, hush, hush, shut up now, voices carry
Oh, oh, oh, hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry
Oh, oh, oh, hush, hush, darling, she might overhear

Hush, hush, oh, oh, voices carry
Hush, hush, he said shut up
He said shut up
Oh God, can’t you keep it down?
Voices carry
Hush, hush, oh, oh voices carry
I wish he would let me talk

In my generation, we were used to listening to songs on the radio or on a record player and often made up the lyrics – assuming we heard it correctly. With the advent of MTV – in the early days when they actually played music with videos, we were actually able to get a visual to better understand those lyrics. Instead of falling into a romantic delusion about this song, we saw exactly what she meant. It was my first song to really relate to, in terms of domestic violence and I was five years post divorce to a batterer. It meant a lot to women of my generation to have someone validate us. To have someone who really got it.

I am always telling my clients to be conscious of what you are watching in the movies, hearing in song, reading in a book. Think about what is really being said. Look up the lyrics, watch the movie again, use your critical thinking skills with the book, and all the rest of the genres. Art shoves it in our face, whether we want to see it or not. Instead of it just being a “great dance song,” like I used to think, or a handsome celebrity that you can’t wait to see in action again, focus on the realities.

When we are unconsciously just viewing or listening to things, we allow it to be okay. We accept this as reality. Right now, we should all be listening to P. Diddy’s songs – if you can tolerate them and really see what kind of nonsense he became famous off of. Then re-read some of the transcripts (online if you can find them) or magazine articles about this and think about it. I am sure he was pretty obvious about his beliefs about women and how, like above, “if he can keep me in line,” he wanted them.

A relationship should be about mutual respect, love, and equality with roles and even finances to some degree. No one is “right” or “wrong.” You must come to a compromise with each other about how you want your relationship to be, with each voice being heard and validated.