Movies are my favorite tool for helping a client to understand what I am talking about. All of the films below show a relationship with a NPD, in different ways. Some of the films below are shown in the Marquee above.

1. Woman Times Seven – 1967. This is a French/American production, all in English because the actors are English speaking. Shirley MacLaine plays the female lead in all of these seven skits. It is the Fourth skit where she plays Edith or Super Simone! This segment should have you rolling on the floor (and I found myself laughing in all seven of them). In the Super Simone segment as Edith, she is playing a victim of a Narcissist. Her husband is a writer, he doesn’t notice her because he is so focused on his book. He talks incessantly about Simone, the character in the book, a woman who has this amazing personality. Edith, begins going in these crazy directions trying to be like Simone. Meanwhile, the looks on her husband’s face as he watches these things are complete confusion. He begins to wonder if she is going crazy.
2. Love Actually – 2003 British. Okay who hasn’t seen this one? Who has seen it more than 2 x? The characters Sarah and Karl are trying to have a relationship but Michael, Sarah’s brother, is constantly calling over and over, even though he is in a psychiatric hospital. Sarah has absolutely NO boundaries. She is an enabler. Michael is NOT a narcissist, he has an undisclosed mental illness. Sarah would be described, I think, as having co-dependent personality disorder. Nonetheless, I have added this to my list as I think it gives another idea, a different way of looking at someone in a narcissistic type situation. If Michael wasn’t mentally ill but expected Sarah to be at his beck and call, we would say he might be a narcissistic brother. Christine Louis de Canonville talks about sibling narcissism on her website.
3. Phantom Thread – 2017 British. Is Daniel Day Lewis a covert or an overt? I am still tied on that one. I see both. This movie is about a fashion designer who picks up a waitress in a nice restaurant and then suddenly they are in a relationship. He has done this so many times, he has a special room for the woman (this is similar to the narcissist in the 1948 British film “Corridor of Mirrors”). The woman of interest begins to pick up on how to take control over the narcissist and it becomes rather bizarre. Think of the 2002 film “Secretary,” with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Photo in the Marquee above. You can read my movie review here.
4. Labyrinth – 1986 British. David Bowie wrote five songs for this movie and was probably a narcissist himself (based on the biography that I read). This movie is about a little girl, Sarah (14 in real life and the movie) and Jareth (David Bowie character) kidnaps her baby brother one day. Sarah hates her brother up till then because she always has to babysit him. Once he disappears, Sarah goes on a hunt for him and has to go through a labyrinth to get to the castle where Jareth has the baby. Muppets help her along the way. This film shows a trauma bond forming and how the little girl breaks through this. Or, how she finds her power by growing up and maturing and making more wiser decisions. Photo above in the Marquee.
5. Temptation – 1946 British. In this film, the characters are Ruby, a married woman, and Mahmoud, a player. They get involved in a clandestine affair while Ruby’s husband is focused on being an archaeologist. A plot ensues to kill her husband, so Mahmoud can siphon money from Ruby who will now be a widow. This film shows a trauma bond very clearly and it shows how the woman breaks through this cycle. I just happened to come across this film one day while wanting to take a break from life. LOL this always happens to me, I look for a film to relax with and suddenly, I am doing research on Narcissists all over again. You can read my movie review here. Photo in the Marquee above.
6. Gaslight – 1944 British. Of course, the famous movie, where the term Gaslighting came from, is Gaslight. I recommend watching the 1944 version with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman, if you haven’t already. The relationship between Gregory and Paula ends up more about Anti-Social Personality Disorder than Narcissism and this is a great case in point, when I mentioned in a previous post “When is it NOT a narcissist” but better understood as a different diagnosis. I don’t want to give away what this is about, so what Gregory is up to, in the entire movie is about a psychopath. About the third time I watched the movie, I suddenly saw the ending in a completely different way. Paula redeems herself with a brilliant conclusion. Something that will very rarely happen to a survivor. I try to tell my clients to be very cautious with going up against the perpetrator. They are almost always going to win. You can watch fellow therapist Elizabeth Miller and I discuss this movie further in the YouTube video on my channel.
7. Corridor of Mirrors – 1948 British. I have reviewed this movie here. Paul is a covert narcissist who lures women into his mansion which features a parade of mirrors with beautiful clothes and jewelry behind it. Paul is after Mifanwy (Welsh name) this time but is a bit more obsessed with her looks than he probably has been with other women. I was interested in the lady/maid who lives in the basement and the warning she gives Mifanwy. So fascinating the writing, the scenery and the direction in classic films. It is so much easier and more realistic to observe and get caught up in the psychological thrillers they created back then. Today, the special effects make the film less authentic and more ignorant if you ask me.
8. An Impossible Love – 2018 French. You can find my review of this film here. This film captures so many aspects about narcissism. You have the male/female relationship. Then you have the father/daughter relationship. It spans many decades and in this, you see the “discard” over and over again. This trauma bond won’t quit. The woman is unable to realize what is going on and sacrifices herself and her child, to keep trying to obtain his love. A photo for this film is also in the Marquee above.

Now, I want to mention films that are specifically about mother’s who are narcissists. One is “August: Osage County,” 2013 American, with Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts. I have told every female client who has had a mother to watch this film and report back to me what they felt when they watched it. “The Red Virgin,” is a 2024 Spanish film you won’t want to miss. This is actually based on a true story and I have written about it here. The Mother/Daughter photo in the Marquee above are the actresses who played out the story in this film. Another American film is the 1999 film “Anywhere but Here,” with Natalie Portman and Susan Sarandon. I haven’t seen this film in a very long while and I hated it. Not because it was a bad movie but back then I didn’t understand it like I would today. I also recall not feeling the mother was narcissistic but another personality disorder. I can’t recall which one at this moment.

Now, I want to finish this blogpost by giving you a very fun homework assignment. This is one I give my clients all the time. I want you to go back and review a few “romantic” films that you have watched in your life. Watch them again but pay more attention to the characteristics (the behaviors) of the actors and actresses in the film. What do you notice about how the male attracts the female or vice versa? Take some notes on paper and then notice how this film may have impacted your life – negatively or positively.

Here is an example. For many years, I have listened to and loved the song from Labyrinth “When the World Falls Down.” I know what the movie is about, but I still loved the song and thought it was beautiful. Well, one day, I looked up the lyrics, while doing some narcissism research – I looked it up because I was drawn to doing so. Low and behold, I am almost fell out of my chair. OMG! I said to myself, why have I never connected the dots with this song. It is a narcissist luring a young woman into his domain. This is how Hollywood traps us into movie characters and making us believe they are romantic and wonderful men or women. I have a tendency to get caught up in David Bowie (who I have had a crush on my entire adult life – until I read his biography) and didn’t think about the lyrics. I just focused on the melody and sang with it but was lured into the trauma bond with the character – didn’t even think about this.

So, now it is your turn. Pay attention. Movie/Song, watch again or look at the lyrics and feel free to comment below. What blew your mind away?