Ever since I was a young girl, I reflected on the meaning of God, on spirituality, on life. I tried following the church – as I was expected, but continued to fall short on what I wanted. Answers. I received regurgitated phrases that shed no sense of enlightenment which I sought. In confirmation I was taught how women are punished for Eve’s sin…Why, I had nothing to do with this – I thought. I was told “Because the Bible says so.” Which was exactly how my questions – any of them – were answered at home (with the word Bible exchanged for the word I). Nonetheless, I did not give up hope and continued to search. This began a lifelong journey; reading, workshops, college/grad school, spiritual teachers, all designed to awaken me into the person I am today. Not to mention my own life lessons.

Not one of us has so much faith that we have no doubts; not one of us has such purity that we have no darkness. Within every human attribute there hides somewhere its opposite. (p.18)

While I am still not finished reading Mr. Sanford’s book, I am struck by how much relevance and validation it is providing to me. And, though his words are common sense – to me – there is still so much reflection in what he is saying.

I began reading this book a week or so ago, at St. Meinrad’s Archabbey (Indiana). I was there for a self-imposed silent retreat. I didn’t really need to be silent, I found on the second day, just needed time to myself, and yet I continued my silence as I had committed to this.

I want to share some of his wisdom, as it is pertinent to our lives and to what we are missing from the church. He himself was an Episcopal priest (as well as a Jungian Analyst and writer). This book was first published in 1968 (I am reading the 1989 version).

During my years of training to be a priest there was not one single word spoken to me about the dream. (p. 53)

Mr. Sanford speaks of this lack of spirituality in his book, that continues to dominate the church. I have felt this since I was a child, though I didn’t know how to articulate such a thing. He mentions how the church ignores dreams or any such talk of this, even though it is mentioned all over the Bible. I would add that they shun psychic wisdom, intuitive thought, channeling, seers, or any form of wisdom obtained through some mechanism to achieve this. And this beguiles me as these beings are recognized all over the Bible. The Bible itself was properly written and put together approximately 100 years after the death of Jesus. In a time when there were no computers or even a written word, as we know it today.

To me, I find the Bible to be metaphors and other tales designed to give people knowledge about how to live life. Stories created for an uneducated flock of souls that needed guidance and protection. Today, it does not seem like an end in an of itself, but a beginning. A place to jump off from after reading the scripture.

The source of our religion is far deeper than either the superficial theories of many psychological schools or the lamentable intellectualism of many of our contemporary theologians. (p. 48)

I have been involved in the analysis of dreams for many years, whenever someone asks in my practice. Sometimes I ask, since I work with trauma. Most people do not believe in their unconscious plays that give them answers at night. Some people will tell me their dreams, but then not really want to know what they are about. It is sad, as they are there for a reason. Others seem frightened, or apologize for the “craziness” of how the symbols are presented.

It is like undressing in front of another person, when you share these dreams. It is similar to when the discussion of ghosts come up in the room (after a loved one has died), I say to them “There is nothing to be afraid of, this is your mother [insert whomever] coming to give you love and support in your time of grief.” Whereas dreams are trying to help you sort through your daily struggles – which is why they can manifest in very confusing ways. The crisis we go through consciously is odd and out of sorts. Why wouldn’t our dreams do the same?

Our dreams show us that the darker, weaker part of our personality also has an important role to play in the drama of our wholeness. (p.24/25)

The collective consciousness in our society, is something I have understood for many years as well, but did not actually fully embrace the meaning of this Jungian term until reading this book. As an adult, it is something I have sensed, but did not know how to properly articulate. Now I can’t stop talking about the collective consciousness. One thought on this topic he says here:

It appears whenever our minds or thoughts are not our own, but are conditioned by generally prevailing opinions. (p. 52)

It is hard not to be persuaded by popular thought, that appears in social media, television, and other sources available to us today. Even I am conditioned to certain values and codes of ethics, which were a part of my ancestors collective consciousness. However, I am also conscious of this and distort these generational values in a way that works for me.

And yet, I am isolated as I suspect many others can be (who are not recognized in the media in some gratified way), for being a non-conformist and not prescribing to the collective consciousness in our society. To me it seems ridiculous and even immature. But it also seems uneducated and without critical thought. I read so much of what this side and that has to say, and my mind quickly goes to a space of “how hypocritical.” Very much so like I did as a child and watched and listened to the dichotomy of people in church and out of church – the way they really lived their lives. And, even now, while I don’t go to church (as a member so to speak), but listen to this from the mouths of my clients.

Mr. Sanford speaks of the “Shadow” that lurks within all of us, taught to us by Jung. I have been toying with the best way to explain this over the years. It is that which is within us, that we try not to expose to others. But, again, Jung wants us to be conscious of this shadow, to align with it, and not be ashamed of it. This is what causes us to have distrust and hatred for others. They outwardly embody traits we do not wish for ourselves.

So we simply banish these disagreeable things and pretend they do not exist. This does not at all mean they cease to be. They are simply repressed, but continue to live in the unconscious like another person. (p.9)

A way in which this occurs in psychotherapy, is through a Freudian term “Countertransference and Transference.” The former means the therapist transfers their shadow issues onto the client and the latter is the client projecting their issues onto the therapist. It generally looks like the therapist seeing the client as someone they resonate with from their own life, and vice versa with the client toward the therapist. This can cause ethical boundaries being crossed and the worst case scenario is the therapist losing their license. As my first supervisor taught me “It is not a problem if you are conscious of this and are getting peer support or support from your own therapist.” It is when you are in denial and continue to play along, that you fall into a trap of your own making.

And if we do not consciously make up our dreams out of our ego, out of the “I” part of us with which we are familiar, than the meaning of our dreams comes from an unconscious source of our psychic life. (p. 6/7)

Dr. Polly Young Eisendrath, in her book “Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path,” talks about healthy relationships being between two people who are working on themselves both spiritually and psychologically. As a psychotherapist, who is in a sacred healing relationship with their clients, we must also commit to this nurturance and growth within ourselves so that we can continue to provide for them. Thus a religious leader, a teacher, any person in a position of power over another human being would benefit in this same way – taking care of themselves spiritually and psychologically in order to educate this human being in a way that is actually providing them with the support they desire from us. And, so that we do not take advantage of them due to our own shadow, our denial, our countertransference issues. This comes from more than just taking continuing education classes to suit our boards (and our licensing) needs.

Lastly, Mr. Sanford has this to say about churches. Well, this is what he has to say so far, as I am not finished reading this wonderful book. I would encourage you as well, if you take up this book, to take your time and consciously read so that you may contemplate all that he is saying.

It is high time the churches talked less about conscious commitment to ideals and creeds, and more about what to do with that living reality, our shadow. (p.26)

A couple of weeks ago, I went on a church tour (before visiting St. Meinrad again) which the local PBS station and about six churches were hosting. These churches were talking about the history of their sacred spaces which is why I went. What I also saw, with exception to the Catholic churches, was a desperation to get us to come to their church as an attendee. I also saw a lot of political crap within the walls that I was aware is an issue now dominating religious institutions. This felt very uncomfortable to me as this need to be political was more important to shove in everyone’s face. These churches were adding to the collective conscious by forcing others visiting to embrace their values whether they liked it or not. As a child, I visited many churches with my friends and never once felt uncomfortable.

So, I will add, if they are still this desperate, it is not working. The shadow, which lurks in all of us, is something we need to acknowledge and integrate for psychological wholeness and self-awareness. I don’t see this as a costume show and a pretense to play out in society, but a journey within to understand what it is to be a human being.

I will explain this another way. I went to Avebury once, which is a much larger stone circle in England than Stonehenge – which many people do not know about. Here, I felt an intense erotic pull from the stones (at a nearby tree actually). I had this intense desire to rip my clothes off and make love to someone as it was so strong – but, I did not. I was not repressing this erotic feeling, I was simply conscious of it and thought about the history of these stones (and I later purchased a book on Avebury to better understand the energy that I felt). I was in touch with the bigger picture here and my own intuitive psychic wisdom.

Meanwhile, as I walked away from this gigantic tree with its roots quite exposed, I arrived at one of the stones nearby where a young couple was making out on the ground. They felt the same thing as did I, though were allowing themselves to be controlled by this force, an unconscious collective energy from ancient tribes, that once performed marriage and fertility rituals here. This young couple was being controlled. I hope they will one day open themselves up to learning about that energy and themselves. They were controlled like so many are controlled by politics, churches, society, and the teachers around us in whatever capacity we seek them – who feel a need to push their beliefs onto us.

Dreams, the collective consciousness, the shadow – so many interpretations of Jung’s philosophy, just like churches, mosques and temples are of their written word. We must decide within ourselves, how to embrace knowledge – listening to our intuition (not our ego) which tells us what to listen to and what to discard. What is the greatest good for our society and how can we consciously learn and grow, as individuals, without bringing harm to others.