“I Can See Clearly Now”

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day

I think I can make it now, the pain has gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day

Look all around, there’s nothing but blue sky
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue sky

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone’re the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
Gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
Gonna be a bright, bright, bright sun-shining day

Written by Johnny Nash

When listening to the lyrics of this very famous song written by Johnny Nash, you feel a sense of hope after all the pain that you have been through. Women and men who are struggling in the courtroom, trying to divorce a narcissist – this can be a long and tedious journey costing tens of thousands of dollars and leaving the victim broke. However, once it is over, it is over. My clients talk with me about the sense of relief – he/she is gone. “I can sleep at night.” and “I am beginning to have a sense of where I want to go.” As he sings, “Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind,” from the trauma bond (cognitive dissonance), the attorneys who you are unsure are supporting you or not, the judges and GALs who collude with the narcissist (coercive control in the courtroom).

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way.” While life will not be perfect after the relationship ends (or divorce is over), you are now free to deal with your life on your own. Making your own choices. “Its going to be a bright bright sun-shining day.” When you don’t have someone in your life, or a courtroom attacking and sucking all your energy out of you, life feels more doable.

It is horrible, what happens in a narcissistic divorce. It is sad that I have listened to the trials and tribulations of women’s (and now men are speaking up), stories for decades and it never changes. Dr. Christina Cocchiola is trying to make a difference, and I hope she will because we need this abuse of women and children to stop in the courtroom. GALs need to be better trained when they are not psychotherapists (which is often the case). Judges and attorneys need to learn more about narcissism and how this manifests, so that they can protect women from being violated even more. All of these professionals need guidance on protecting the children from being manipulated by their narcissistic parent so that they are not isolated from the non-offending parent.

Seeing a photo of three adorable girls who were most likely murdered by their father in the state of Washington (however, he is/was supposedly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and paranoia), should not be happening. Yet, this fatal outcome continues to occur when relationships end – with children – and someone is clearly not healthy and probably should not have been allowed unsupervised visitation. Of course one never knows what the outcome will be as we don’t have crystal balls and unless he specifically has an intent of a homicidal plan that is communicated, you can’t assume. But, this tragedy happened and I am sure there is a professional behind this who colluded with his personality.

Sadly, this mother does know the obstacles in front of her and it won’t be a bright sun-shine-y day. Let’s try to be more conscious of what is happening in the world with unhealthy relationships and if you are able to affect this in one way or another as a professional, please get training to better understand so we can see more successful outcomes.

If you are in this type of situation, be patient as you await your outcome – closure. Make sure you are hiring the right people to help you in your situation. You can’t hire GALs, this is court appointed. You can hire an attorney though and you want to look at their background and find out what type of cases they have been successful on. Talk to several until you are sure you have the one who will represent you.